Man, did I luck the fuck out tonight! My favorite local band was playing at a club that's about 10 minutes down the road from where I work. I got off work at 12:45 am and decided to run down there to catch the last set. On the way down, I see 3 state troopers in the 10 mile stretch. 2 of them had someone pulled over. I get to the bar and get a beer. Drank it and got 2 more, downed those and got 2 more for last call. Drank one there and stashed the other in my jacket to drink on the way home. I'm cruising back towards my work, (I live about 6 miles on the OTHER side of work) and I see a trooper with a car pulled over 1 mile from the bar. I get about a mile away from work and a cop goes by the other way. I see him turn around and come flying up behind me, and I'm thinking OH SHIT!

I figure I'll pull into work and hope he goes by. NO LUCK! He pulls in behind me and flips the lights on.

(I didn't have time to hide the open beer in my console) He asks if I've had any drinks and I told him that I just got off work an hour ago and had one at the bar and was taking this one home. He proceeds to make me do a field sobriety test. Now, I'm a big guy and a veteran beer drinker and I dont really consider myself drunk at this point but I had a little buzz. Anyway, long story short, he say's "I dont believe you're drunk, so I'm just giving you a warning for your license plate light being out. And dump that beer." I'm now VERY fuckin relieved!

So I pull out and head for home. Get about 3 miles up the road and see another trooper sitting along the road. I go by and he pulls out and starts following me.

Now I'm wondering if the other cop told him to follow me and see if he could make me "fuck up" or what. Or I think that maybe he didn't know that I was just pulled over? Well about 2 miles from home, he flips HIS lights on. I'm thinking I'll just tell him about being pulled over and he'll let me go. Right? WRONG! He says that he pulled me because of my light and I said, "yeah I know", I just got pulled over a minute ago for it. Then he asks if I'd been drinking (I gotta remember to carry gum) and I told him the whole story from before. He says,"did the other officer give you a breath test?" I said, no but he gave me a field test. He said,"I'll be right back." Here the motherfucker comes with the little breathalizer machine! I KNOW I'm FUCKED NOW!

Anyway, he has me blow into this thing for 6 seconds until it clicks. I hand it back to him and all I can think about is the major bitchin at I'm gonna get from the wife, the big ass fine, the license suspension, the fact that the Balt. Kill show is TOMORROW and the wife is gonna divorce me if I go now, everyone seeing my name in the paper, etc...

The cop says,"so you only had 1 beer huh?" I just shook my head yes and was getting ready to be fitted with some nice bracelets, and he says "well, you're just UNDER the limit so I'm letting you go." HOLY SHIT!!!
Now before any of you politically correct pricks tell me that I should of been busted, I've been a beer drinker since I was 12, and I know my limits. Actually, I don't think it's possible for me to get too fucked up to drive on beer. I did not get pulled over for weaving and shit, it was the little plate light that got me pulled over. I feel stupid for not knowing that the bulb was out. I've always preached to other people who drive cars with 1 headlight and shit, that they're just begging to get stopped.
Well, it's off to bed and then Auto Zone in the morning, for a bulb! Remember to check ALL of your lights kids!
Lucky Bag