J Michaels' Daily Chuck Norris Fact

[J Michaels]

Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits.

[J Michaels]

OK - I simply HAVE to post this one right away....

Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles is based on a true story: Chuck Norris once swallowed a turtle whole, and when he crapped it out, the turtle was six feet tall and had learned karate.


ROFLMFAO

[YankeeRose]

LMAO... "Silent Rage" is my favorite Chuck Norris flick. Mainly because it's also very much a Horror flick.


J Michaels, why all of the way out there homage (sort of) being paid to Chuck Norris of late?

[AtoMikEnRtiA]

Shortly upon hearing of Jesus' crucifixion.. Chuck Norris went apeshit, and set 8 jews on fire.. this is why we celebrate Hanakuah...

[AtoMikEnRtiA]

LMAO... "Silent Rage" is my favorite Chuck Norris flick. Mainly because it's also very much a Horror flick.


J Michaels, why all of the way out there homage (sort of) being paid to Chuck Norris of late?

its the current underground fad..

its also some of the funniest shit ive ever seen..

[J Michaels]

LMAO... "Silent Rage" is my favorite Chuck Norris flick. Mainly because it's also very much a Horror flick.


J Michaels, why all of the way out there homage (sort of) being paid to Chuck Norris of late?

its the current underground fad..

its also some of the funniest shit ive ever seen..

Exactly.




Chuck Norris is currently suing NBC, claiming Law and Order are trademarked names for his left and right legs.

[AtoMikEnRtiA]

Chuck Norris is not hung like a horse... Horses are hung like Chuck Norris...

[f.sciarrillo]

Chuck Norris, Van Damn, Segal, Who would win ??? Deff Norris ..

[songsmith]

We used to play that game , but we used Jeff Stryker. You say something like, "Jeff Stryker doesn't f*ck up, he innovates." Then, for some reason, you put your tongue down in your lower lip, like you have a chew of snuff. I think it signified that you were kidding.
Incidentally, Jeff Stryker was a porn star.------------>JMS

[J Michaels]

In fine print on the last page of the Guinness Book of World Records it notes that all world records are held by Chuck Norris, and those listed in the book are simply the closest anyone else has ever gotten.

[SpellboundByMetal]

Delta Force!

Sidekicks was horrible, "you can do it, Barry!"

Steven Segal recorded an album and it SUCKS as i knew it would.
Maybe 'The Chuck' should do a metal album.

and finally, Songsmith- my uncle used to talk about Jeff Stryker alot.
my uncle also happens to be gay as gay could be. i mean, beauty school certified GAY. like seriously.
anyway, what kind of game was this you played with your "friends"?
you should look into that. hopefully you dont know my uncle...

[AtoMikEnRtiA]

it's "twofer" Thursday!!

God doesn't let bad things happen to good people, Chuck Norris does...

God and Chuck Norris once had a fight to determine who was greater. To this day, people are still searching for god.. Chuck Norris is doing a world-wide Victory lap...

[no surrender]

cunfused again.don't really understand this thread.. are you making fun of CN or do you really like him?

[no surrender]

Bill "Superfoot" Wallace is the real deal.

[SpellboundByMetal]

Superfoot , hahahahaha.

[AtoMikEnRtiA]

Bill "Superfoot" Wallace is the real deal.

and while he's testing the waters at how high he can extend his leg.. i'd punch that guy right in the balls...

[Banned]

when chuck norris was born they broke the mold and rumor has it chuck beat the hell out of the mold maker too

[no surrender]

“I’m gonna take this right foot…and I’m gonna whop you up that side of your face. And you wanna know something? There’s not a damn thing that you’re gonna be able to do about it.” – Tom Laughlin, BILLY JACK




heh
Billy Jack !

[YankeeRose]

God doesn't let bad things happen to good people, Chuck Norris does...

God and Chuck Norris once had a fight to determine who was greater. To this day, people are still searching for god.. Chuck Norris is doing a world-wide Victory lap.

Ya know, this would explain a LOT.

[no surrender]

Bill "Superfoot" Wallace is the real deal.

and while he's testing the waters at how high he can extend his leg.. i'd punch that guy right in the balls...

not even you the great and wonderful Ato can stop a foot moving at +60mph..


bill kicks this fast..
radar gun don't lie

hehe


ps. 60 miles per hour is equal to 26.82 meters per second = equal to 88.00 feet per second
(i checked)

[AtoMikEnRtiA]

Bill "Superfoot" Wallace is the real deal.

and while he's testing the waters at how high he can extend his leg.. i'd punch that guy right in the balls...

not even you the great and wonderful Ato can stop a foot moving at +60mph..


bill kicks this fast..
radar gun don't lie

hehe


ps. 60 miles per hour is equal to 26.82 meters per second = equal to 88.00 feet per second
(i checked)

ok ok i admit.. i probably couldnt stop a foot going 60 miles per hour.. you were right..

but you better believe it.. if he's still hanging around when i get up, he wont be able to stop an alluminum baseball bat blast to the fucking temple at 85 mph..

and if that doesnt work - i'll shoot him right square in the face.. and trust me, my gun has 6 little friends, and they can all run faster than him..

[no surrender]

and while he's testing the waters at how high he can extend his leg.. i'd punch that guy right in the balls...

not even you the great and wonderful Ato can stop a foot moving at +60mph..


bill kicks this fast..
radar gun don't lie

hehe


ps. 60 miles per hour is equal to 26.82 meters per second = equal to 88.00 feet per second
(i checked)

ok ok i admit.. i probably couldnt stop a foot going 60 miles per hour.. you were right..

but you better believe it.. if he's still hanging around when i get up, he wont be able to stop an alluminum baseball bat blast to the fucking temple at 85 mph..

and if that doesnt work - i'll shoot him right square in the face.. and trust me, my gun has 6 little friends, and they can all run faster than him..

rofl!

[YankeeRose]

ok ok i admit.. i probably couldnt stop a foot going 60 miles per hour.. you were right..

but you better believe it.. if he's still hanging around when i get up, he wont be able to stop an alluminum baseball bat blast to the fucking temple at 85 mph..

and if that doesnt work - i'll shoot him right square in the face.. and trust me, my gun has 6 little friends, and they can all run faster than him..

LMAO I myself like wooden bats...I've always found that Aluminum stings my hands.

[lonewolf]

not even you the great and wonderful Ato can stop a foot moving at +60mph..


bill kicks this fast..
radar gun don't lie

hehe


ps. 60 miles per hour is equal to 26.82 meters per second = equal to 88.00 feet per second
(i checked)

ok ok i admit.. i probably couldnt stop a foot going 60 miles per hour.. you were right..

but you better believe it.. if he's still hanging around when i get up, he wont be able to stop an alluminum baseball bat blast to the fucking temple at 85 mph..

and if that doesnt work - i'll shoot him right square in the face.. and trust me, my gun has 6 little friends, and they can all run faster than him..

rofl!

I wonder if Bill can kick his way out of this little box we made for him?

[J Michaels]

ok ok i admit.. i probably couldnt stop a foot going 60 miles per hour.. you were right..

but you better believe it.. if he's still hanging around when i get up, he wont be able to stop an alluminum baseball bat blast to the fucking temple at 85 mph..

and if that doesnt work - i'll shoot him right square in the face.. and trust me, my gun has 6 little friends, and they can all run faster than him..

rofl!

I wonder if Bill can kick his way out of this little box we made for him?

Maybe, but I KNOW Chuck Norris could do it.... Here's a bonus, since we seem to enjoy this thread so much.......

If you can see Chuck Norris, he can see you. If you can't see Chuck Norris, you may be only seconds away from death.