Kay Jewelers: "Two month's salary my ass!"
American Medical Marijuana Assn.: "Dude, we totally forgot our slogan."
Ace Hardware: "Need a good screw?"
Krispy Kreme: "Chew you fat bastards, CHEW!!!"
Hallmark: "Face it. You'll never come up with something clever on your
own."
Chiquita Bannanas: "Men. Who needs 'em?"
Ray-Ban: "We'd love to be sitting on your face!"
Wilson Athletics: "Get some balls."
Hammond: "We're proud of our organs."
Gold's Gym: "Big Egos. Big Biceps. Little Winkies."
Evian: : "Psssst...it's just friggin' water."
Public Service: "There is life after substance abuse. It's just not fun."
FedEx: "We'd love to handle your package."
K-Mart: "Poorly made crap. Apathetic employees. GREAT PRICES!!"
Ikea: "Come check out our stool samples!"
1800wedding.com: "Planning a wedding? 1-800-RUNLIKEHELL."
Canada: "Canada-Leading the world in being just north of the USA."
Entmann's: "We put the lard in lard-ass."
American School Of Proctology: Giving someone the finger isn't all a bad thing."