I literally just laughed until I cried for 10 mins trying to finish reading this story. Its something I just read on another forum and I thought some might like it.
"I fucking colon cleansed myself and it fucking backfired...
NO WHERE in the directions did it say I could NOT eat greasy foods: My girlfriend and I were invited to her family's cookout last evening. They made many dishes, but I am a fan of sausage and potato salad, myself. So, having got there at her mom and dads house, we waited until all the food was done. I had many types of sausge and bratwaurst. Within an hour, I felt a slight 'nudge' in my stomach, but thought it was due to me just being full. I was wrong. Another 10mins or so went by and I started to feel a bit aggitated in the mid- section. About 5mins after that, I knew something was wrong. I got up to go to the bathroom and made it there just in time. This happend two times. By he third time came around, I knew I was introuble as the symptoms were at least 3 times as bad. By this time, I was in front of my girlfriends parents, a few cousins, and some friends of the family's. I stood up to once again go to the bathroom and thats when all hell broke loose. All because I stood up, I apparently relieved the pressure in my stomach that was helping keep whatever was in there, in. I stood to my feet and it was as if a valve was released and a greasy slime ran down my legs. I stood in disbelief while everyone was talking. I didn't want to move. And then, my girlfriends parents dog came over and started to sniff my shoes. They were pretty much filled with shit at thia point, but not soild shit. The more he sniffed, the more I was getting anxious to get out of there, but I couldn't go anywhere as I had a grease bag of shit all over my ass, legs, and feet. I attempted to swat the dog with my arm to get it away, but the bastard wouldn't budge. Another 2 or 3 mins went by and the dog just kept fucking sniffing and then that is when it happend. The fucker lifted his bastard leg and pissed all over my shoes. Now, not only did I have shit inside of my shoes, but dog piss all over the fucking out of them. Everyone looked at me and then the dog. My girlfriends dad came over and spanked the dog with a magazine although he didn't realize the dog pissed because it had smelled shit in my shoes. As I stood there with shit filled and pissed drenched shoes, I was asked to go to the bathroom to wash off. At that point I had no choice, but to walk. I took my first fucking step and as I did, it squashed a shitload of crap from the inside of my shoes onto the floor. Everyone looked at me as if they were saying, 'what the fuck is wrong with this guy'. I then had to admit, in front of at least 9 people, that I shit-greased my pants and shoes. On top of that....., I had to fucking aplogize to the fucking dog for it getting into trouble because it pissed on my shoes and carpet."
