We are getting a new stimulus check from the government.

[f.sciarrillo]

Sometime this year, we taxpayers may again receive an Economic Stimulus payment.


This is a very exciting new program. I will explain it using the Q and A format:

Q. What is an Economic Stimulus payment?
A. It is money that the federal government will send to taxpayers.

Q. Where will the government get this money?
A. From taxpayers.

Q. So the government is giving me back my own money?
A. Only a smidgen.

Q. What is the purpose of this payment?
A. The plan is that you will use the money to purchase a high-definition TV set, thus stimulating the economy.

Q. But isn't that stimulating the economy of China ?
A. Shut up.

Below is some helpful advice on how to best help the US economy by spending your stimulus check wisely:

• If you spend the stimulus money at Wal-Mart, the money will go to China .
• If you spend it on gasoline, your money will go to the Arabs.
• If you purchase a computer, it will go to India .
• If you purchase fruit and vegetables, it will go to Mexico , Honduras and Guatemala .
• If you buy a car, it will go to Japan .
• If y ou purchase useless stuff, it will go to Taiwan .
• If you pay your credit cards off, or buy stock, it will go to management bonuses and they will hide it offshore.

Instead, keep the money in America by:

1 - spending it at yard sales, or
2 - going to ball games, or
3 - spending it on prostitutes, or
4 - domestic beer or wine
5 - tattoos.

Above are the only American businesses still operating in the United States.

A true American man will, therefore, go to a ball game and drink beer with a tattooed woman he met at a yard sale! ;=)

[CrossfireRadio]

Q. But isn't that stimulating the economy of China ?
A. Shut up.

[Dragan Kalasa]

• If you buy a car, it will go to Japan .

Disagree, my car is 97% Korean, and I plan on upgrading to another Korean car. Hyundai rules!

[timemoney0]

What if I spend my money on a Korean prostitute?

[songsmith]

• If you buy a car, it will go to Japan .
;=)

If you buy a Honda, the money will be split fairly between non-union US auto-workers... and Japan. But Japan has no oil, isn't trying to blow us up, and Japanese chicks are smoking-hot.

Not hearing anything about another stimulus check coming. It would be pretty stupid politically, at this point... That's America's problem with Obama. I have heard about a cash-for-clunker-appliances deal coming... but most of those parts are made overseas. It would cut power consumption, a fridge from 20 years ago uses WAY more power than a new one, same with most other appliances. The technology's better, and they use foam insulation, which is far more efficient and lighter than fiberglass. I'm holding out for the deal, I need a new dishwasher.--->JMS

[Banned]

One should not live their life by waiting for a few crumbs from the government. Sounds like slavery.

[songsmith]

Sounds like, by waiting a few weeks, I get 20% off. That's my money staying in my pocket.
Of course you're going to tell me that my money paid for the program, but that's not completely true... it's partially YOUR money, too.
Thanks, Joe. --->JMS

[f.sciarrillo]

Japanese chicks are smoking-hot.

I agree ...

[Colton]

We were playing circle of death the other night. I pulled a 'category' card and said 'types of European cars'. I started by saying 'Porsche'. Next person said Honda, next person said Mitsubishi, then Toyota, and right about then I sighed, my head hit the table, and I gave up on circle of death.


Damn kids today and their rock and roll 8 track tapes!

[Banned]

8 track tapes!

Nostalgia sigh.

[lonewolf]

I have a new idea for stimulus--a new rule for those getting state aid:

Anyone who has received a living from the state for more than one year will be required to have a different taxpayer & family over for dinner once every week.

[f.sciarrillo]

I have a new idea for stimulus--a new rule for those getting state aid:

Anyone who has received a living from the state for more than one year will be required to have a different taxpayer & family over for dinner once every week.

I LOVE THIS !!

[PanzerFaust]

• If you spend the stimulus money at Wal-Mart, the money will go to China .
• If you spend it on gasoline, your money will go to the Arabs.
• If you purchase a computer, it will go to India .
• If you purchase fruit and vegetables, it will go to Mexico , Honduras and Guatemala .
• If you buy a car, it will go to Japan .
• If y ou purchase useless stuff, it will go to Taiwan .

How about I buy an american made assault rifle say a Colt M4 and use it to snuff out a Chinaman, a Arab, an Indian, (like Ghandi not Pocohontos) a Mexican, etc etc?

[DrumAndDestroy]

How about I buy an american made assault rifle say a Colt M4 and use it to snuff out a Chinaman, a Arab, an Indian, (like Ghandi not Pocohontos) a Mexican, etc etc?

keep the chink and the spic...i like their food

[Banned]

I have a new idea for stimulus--a new rule for those getting state aid:

Anyone who has received a living from the state for more than one year will be required to have a different taxpayer & family over for dinner once every week.

How about if they just come over and mow my lawn and shovel snow in the winter?

[f.sciarrillo]

those last couple of posts are great lol ...

[FrigoRecording]

Funny stuff, guys! BTW, you can use your stimulus check to pay to record at my studio and the money will stay in America ...until I go spend it on a new LCD TV, that is, or perhaps some new German microphones!