Singer who is getting discouraged

[facingwest]

Yes, I do play in an all 80's band and the reason why I didn't make any offers to you with it is because it isn't in my power or control to be able to. I have to clear things like that with 4 other members that have an equal say, where as the acoustic stuff there are only two guys and it's a lot simpler and we actually invite people to sit in with us. It's totally a different atmosphere. Do I think you can handle being able to rock or not? I have no idea. Why don't you come out and jam with us? Our schedule is posted. Within those songs, if you don't see something you usually sing, send me an email or message and we'll make arrangements in finding something that you do. Kenny and I are spontaneous with a portion of our set and if we can figure out a song, on the cuff, we'll try it. That's something we wouldn't do with Retro, but the acoustic stuff, there's a little more freedom to do so for various reasons. Anyways, I'm giving you the invitation to sit in with us anytime you want. If you choose to do so or not, that's up to you.

[April]

Gee, Terri, maybe you, Trace, and I should throw a big dinner party for all these big strong powerful men. We can wear our little waitress outfits and serve them huge hunks of meat until they burp and fart themselves into oblivion. maybe if we feed them well enough they'll let us sing backup in their band, and maybe, just maybe, if we're really good, we can even drive the car home.

sorry, feeling PMSey. time for my hormone pill.

[dayzichick]

Well April, I couldn't help but notice that it did not take you long to find yourself another band after Hardly broke up. I haven't been on the site for a while but didn't seem to be that long of a gap, good for you!!!

[April]

no Terri, actually I had offers BEFORE my band even broke up. just proves that if you get yourself out there the opportunities will come along.

[dayzichick]

My point exactly!

[aja]

Guys, guys, guys, get past the fact of the one night stands. I don't need them. I do that already. You are failing to see that.

I don't need one nighters. I am looking for a band who has NO LEAD SINGER and wants to audition me. Period. Period Period.

When you put an ad out in a news paper looking for a lead singer, YOU DO NOT KNOW WHO YOU WILL GET? someone calls and you say, be here at such and such place and we will audition. NO GUARANTEES. Just an audition.

That is what I am doing. No one has to give me anything, I will audition, if it works than it works, if it doesn't than it doesn't

But these one night offers I do not need, I do them already. The outcome of your offers will not get me what I want. So I come and sing a song or 2 with your band live on stage. So what, even if you like my voice and think i have talent it will ultimately lead me no where. Your bands already have lead singers and are not looking for any. So basically I just wasted my time to a band who isn't looking for a lead singer.

I am looking for an AUDITION TO LEAD SING FOR A BAND WHOOOOOO NEEEEEEEEEDS A LEAD SINGER. Period.

Don't offer me one night stands here and there, I dooooo thaaaaat already.

Alll your highlighted copying and pasting are offers coming from bands who are offering me one night stands. Again, heeeerreeeee meeeee, iiiiii allllll readddddddy doooooooo that.

Give me an audition for a band WHOOOOO HAS NOOOOOOO LEAD SINGER AND IS LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOKING FOR ONE.

Focus people, ITS NOT HARD

[HurricaneBob]

Put down the bag and step away, it will be ooooooooooook..........

[rug]

are aja and "the reason" related??????

[Pure Evil]

Your last name isn't "Rose" or "Roth" by chance is it? I bet your a real joy to work with. I can't believe someone hasn't signed you up already.

[byndrsn]

Aja,

Maybe you're approaching the whole singing in a band the wrong way. If you can't start your own, can you fill another slot in one until you find your way into your own? Do you play any instruments? Can you jam on guitar? Slap the skins, flute, anything?

Playing in a band might open some doors to another project where you could strut!

Dan

[Chris]

Wow... You kids don't play nice.

I'm sorry, but -- I have to agree with Aja. She may not always say the right thing (or be an expert in social etiquette), but she’s right about her thought process in auditioning for a band. Sure, she may have pissed off a few people, but look at the response she received.

Now, as far as all of the talk of misogyny is concerned. Sure, there are women in our scene who are respected as musicians, as well as female musicians everywhere that garner a lot of respect. However, there is always another side… Maybe Aja hasn’t had a lot of great experiences and it has given her a differing outlook and opinion that the one that is obviously shared here in this forum. Again – I think that she’s right. If that’s her opinion (no matter how boldly stated), she’s entitled to it.

Anyway, I don’t want to piss off anyone either. I’m trying to be middle-of-the-road here, but I do have to say one last thing. Aja, I emailed you about wanting to have you audition. If you think that it’s worth the lengthy travel time… You know that you can try anytime you’d like. And I hope that my post has been stated clearly enough for everyone.

Thanks.

[aja]

Thanks chris. I do appreciate that offer. You were the only band who was in need of a singer that actually asked me to audition. To bad our distances are not closer.

It just amazes me how these bands at this forum say they need a lead singer and do not email me asking me to audition for them. It amazes me more when I responded to the post and they didnt respond.

Again, chris I would like to thank you for your offer. However, the distance is just too far to commit to your project. Oh how I desperately wished your band was closer.

As for you other people here that are fighting with me. I'm sorry we didn't get off to a good start. I thank you guys also for your offers. But, again, it is not offering me anything that I don't do now.

The real blame should be put on those bands looking for a lead singer and are not serious to ask me or respond to my emails. The rest of you I do appreciate your offers, though it may not seem it, but again, I am already doing that stuff. What I want you can't offer me, and that is a full time spot at the lead singer position.

So lets just agree to close this fight because I feel no one is getting anywhere anyway. You guys just don't see where or what I want, and you already have the lead singer position filled.

[tonefight]

You better watch out AJA, All these guys making you offers probably just want to abuse you, after all never trust a person with a penis


I work with a female singer and drummer and they don't wine and bitch as much as you. I can't judge your talent but your attitude sucks and talent isn't any good without a good attitude.

But thank you for making a very interesting thread here on Rockpage.

Now I see you want a closer band than what Chris offered you? Huh maybe everyone thought a singer from Harrisburg was a little to far away so they didn't respond to your add in the first place!

[aja]

I doubt it, since all my posts I said I would be willing to travel. Harrisburg is not that far from Hershey. HOwever Johnstown and Pitt are a bit far to make a commitment. Basically use your head on that issue.

[tonefight]

Well Why are you posting on an Altoona based site?

[aja]

HEllo, there are more people here than just ones in Altoona. My god there are people all over pa here at this board. I have talked to guys in johnstown and pitt, i have talked to people in harrisburg, i have talked to people in Lockhaven. Just because the administrator may be from altoona, doesnt make the clients here from the same place

[tonefight]

Somebody forgot to take there medicine didn't they?

[songsmith]

Yeah, I'll try and stay on top of that from now on.

Truth be told, if Aja passed her entrance audition for Berklee, she must have some chops. I can't, and won't try, to take that away from her. Problem is, she felt she was discriminated against because she's a woman, and that I find totally offensive and completely unfounded by anything resembling the truth. It should be noted here that several women posted on this thread, and not a single one complained about their situation... they correctly realized that there are benefits and liabilities involved for BOTH men and women, there are simply differences in those benefits and liabilities. Sure nobody asks to see my breasts , which is offensive to most women, but women don't deal with male pissing contests, either. See, everybody has their own personal row to hoe, and I don't wanna hear Aja's yammering any more than she wants to hear mine.
This is, by all accounts, a tough direction to take one's life. A college education means little more to me than an indication that Aja has had more opportunity than most of us. It provides a great background in theory, and history, and technical proficiency, but, and this is a big "but," it doesn't implant anything in her heart that doesn't exist in mine, or anyone else's. It doesn't indicate a greater talent, or drive, or willingness to sacrifice. A Berklee degree does not guarantee anything more than an implication that it's holder is serious about music. Anything beyond that, you have to prove time and time again. We all do. Boys AND Girls alike.------->JMS

[cruseaudio]

HI,

I am a self centered, self absorbed, egotistical pric. I hate you and everyone else on the planet. I want to join your band even though I am positive that you suck. I will travel as far as I have to as long as it doesn't involve going anywhere. I really don't think that I should have to play either, I will bring my mini me to that kinda labor intensive work and you just pay me to look good. You are just hiring the FACE and that should be good enough!


I alos have nice breasts and i'll toss them in for free.

[Hal]

I think this should be put to rest. All you guys made offers to her but she doesn't want to take you up on it. So I say let her find her band on her own. It's like trying to give a beggar 5 bucks but they won't take it because they want a 20. I think she just likes the attention and drama. By the way, if she is already doing the sit ins now, why doesn't anyone know anything about her??

[Jim Price]

SOME LESSONS TO BE LEARNED FROM THIS THREAD?

NUMBER ONE: Instant gratification is few and far between in most endeavors in life, music included.

I envision Aja as 21 and eager and enthusiastic to get out there and prove herself to the world. She started pounding on doors and looking for bands to sing for, but answers and takers were few and far between. She became impatient, frustrated and discouraged, and began pointing fingers, lashing out and making accusations.

Her scenario is really not much different from the college student who graduates from school with a degree, and heads out into the job world expecting to be hired on the spot. But after responding to want ads, doing interview (audition) after interview (audition), the new grad finds that doors are closed, and it is difficult to get a foot inside any of those doors.

Obviously in the job market, if you point fingers and make accusations at potential employers who didn’t hire you right away, you’re likely not going to get hired by those folks, plus you burn potential bridges that might lead to a job later on. But if you’re politely persistent, network with people in your field, learn about your job market and continue to knock on new doors, opportunities eventually happen.

Same in music. The opportunity Aja wants might not be presently available. So network with other musicians, use the opportunities that ARE out there, develop credibility and build up contacts. Over time, as her name gets out there, Aja may then start hearing from bands interested in her services. It takes patience and polite persistence; not anger and hostility.

NUMBER TWO. Be open-minded.

This works on both sides of the fence. For Aja, be open-minded about accepting singing situations outside of what you immediately desire, singing in a classic 80’s metal situation. Get your foot in the door, then apply yourself onstage and network. In the employment world, people often take jobs they may not like initially, just to get their foot in the door and build up their resume and credibility in their field. Then the more desirable job opportunities start to happen.

And to bands in general, also be open-minded. Aja does bring up a valid point about the existence of stereotypes. While the situation is improving for women with the proliferation of female-fronted rock/metal bands on our scene; I think the perception among many bands that seek a male singer is that a female can’t deliver the sound or style they want. This may ultimately be true in many cases, and it should be each band’s own decision if a given guy or girl is best suited for their lead mic position and musical direction. But consider this example, quoted from Juiced’s cover article feature in the December 2001 issue of Pennsylvania Musician:

(Citing Juiced singer Carrie Rapaport) “Rapaport’s singing ability forced keyboard player Doug Buch, guitarist Norm Marks, and drummer Dave Beckwith to sit up and take notice. ‘We were interviewing singers,’ Buch says. ‘Basically, we really didn’t have a female singer in mind at all. We tried out Carrie and she blew us away.’”

I’m not saying that every woman who wants to be a lead singer is the next Carrie, or can handle aggressive rock song material (I’ve seen a few, even just recently, who cannot); but at least be open-minded to the possibility that a woman might just have the style and sound you are looking for, or might even open other style/sound possibilities you might not have considered.

Anyway, interesting thread…It livened things up on the board, and hopefully everyone learned a few lessons from it all.

[Dave]

By the way, if she is already doing the sit ins now, why doesn't anyone know anything about her??

Because she is sitting in with bands in the Harrisburg area, not around here. Even though she said she was willing to travel, I don't think think thought it through.

[aja]

Again, what you people are failing to realize is three key issues.

1. This is my thread and I started it. I placed an ad about myself and my desire to be in a band

2. No one responded, so I just simple responded by saying, I am discouraged. Again, not blaming anyone.

3. You are offering me stuff I am already doing now.


So you little homeless person five buck imagery doesn't apply. It is more like I need heart surgery and a liver transplant. I just did the heart transplant so all I need now is a new liver. YOU GUYS KEEP OFFERING ME A HEART. IIIIIIIIIII hhhhhhhhhaaaaaaaaaave a newwwwwww heart. I neeeeeeeeed the liver.

That is a better metaphor than the five bucks.

Again, you are offering me stuff I am already doing. I want the offers for a permanent member in a band as the lead singer. If that is an offer you are unwilling to take because you already have a lead singer, DON'T ASK ME TO BE A ONE NIGHT STAND

[Ron]

I neeeeeeeeed the liver.

[nighthawk]

this is really starting to get old