Now, that's one secure dude right there. Despite his obvious physical shortcomings and lack of handsomeness, he persists, and revels in his ugliness. The fat guy's probably pretty cool with himself, too.
My former band, Thin Ice was one of those bands... one or two of the guys were pretty good musicians, but the rest of us simply put on the most fun show we could, and it seemed to work. Big PA and lights really did seem to help... it sort of showed we were serious and were making an effort. I don't need a big PA to be impressed by a band these days, and I certainly have no need for that myself now, but if you play heavy music, it's almost an imperative. Luckily, gear doesn't cost much more that it did then, and is much more compact and efficient. The old-timers here will attest to the futility of dragging Altec A-7's and double-Perkins boxes up flights of stairs, amp racks that required 4 guys to lift, and 16-channel consoles the size of a small sofa (with zero FX and peak lights that went on when somebody sneezed in the back of the room).
I think the other thing we did that really worked was to keep working our originals in the set list, but not be overly pushy with them. One or two a set is good for most bar crowds, and little by little, people start to accept them like they do covers. Next thing we knew, people were singing along, which is extremely gratifying.
Also, play the occasional gig opening for some really great band in an area you don't normally play. It keeps you grounded ego-wise, opens new territory, and keeps you from getting too comfortable. Rock and roll isn't supposed to be comfortable, it's supposed to be rebellion.
Most importantly, enjoy the struggle. The best part of climbing Everest isn't the view from the top. It's telling your grandkids about how you climbed Everest.-------->JMS