If You .................. You Might Be A ?????????

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Hawk
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If You .................. You Might Be A ?????????

Post by Hawk »

I saw this on a drummers forum.

Fill in the blanks.

If you ....are handed written music and don't know what to do.......
You might be a drummer.


If you ...deliver pizza for your day job........
You might be a bass player.

If you ....try to dance and your feet go R L R R L R L L .......
You might be a drummer.
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JeffLeeper
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Post by JeffLeeper »

Q.-How do you stop a drummer from drowning ?

A.-Take your foot off his head.
Jeff
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HurricaneBob
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Post by HurricaneBob »

Oh yeah?
Drummers are 2% smarter than horses.....they dont shit on the road during a parade. :P
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Trucula
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Post by Trucula »

What do you call a drummer that just left his girlfriend?
A: Homeless

What do you call a guy that hangs around a bunch of musicians?
A: Drummer

What do you do when a drummer shows up at your door step?
A: Pay for the pizza
:(


And one off music type:
What do you get when you fill a baby bottle with a bunch of bumble bees?
A: An Amish Viberator! :twisted:
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DirtySanchez
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Post by DirtySanchez »

What do an orgasm and a drum solo have in common?

You Know it's coming and there's no way to stop it.
"You are now either a clueless inbred brownshirt Teabagger, or a babykilling hippie Marxist on welfare."-Songsmith
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Charltor
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Post by Charltor »

Q: How do you improve the aerodynamics of a drummer's car?
A: Take the Domino's Pizza sign off the roof.

Q: What's the difference between a drummer and government bonds?
A: Government bonds eventually mature and earn money.

Q: What's the difference between a drummer and a sack of shit?
A: The sack.

Q: Why is a drum machine better than a drummer?
A: Because it can keep a steady beat and won't sleep with your girlfriend.

Q: What is the difference between a bad drummer and a vacuum cleaner
A: You have to plug one of them in before it sucks.

Q: What has three legs and an asshole?
A: A drum stool
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orangekick
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Post by orangekick »

Q: How do you know when the drummer's at the door?

A: He doesn't know when to come in... or... The knocking keeps speeding up.


Q: What's the difference between a drummer and a drum machine?

A : You only have to punch the information into the drum machine once.


Q: How many drummers does it take to change a lightbulb?

A: "Oh, wow! Is it like dark, man?"


Q: How can you tell a drummer is walking behind you?

A: You can hear his knuckles dragging on the ground.


...and just to prove that I'm not anti-drummer...

A man goes to an exotic tropical island for a vacation. As the boat nears the island, he notices the constant sound of drumming coming from the island. As he gets off the boat, he asks the first native he sees how long the drumming will go on. The native casts about nervously and says "very bad when the drumming stops."
At the end of the day, the drumming is still going and is starting to get on his nerves. So, he asks another native when the drumming will stop. The native looks as if he's just been reminded of something very unpleasant. "Very bad when the drumming stops," he says, and hurries off.

After a couple of days with little sleep, our traveller is finally fed up, grabs the nearest native, slams him up against a tree, and shouts "What happens when the drumming stops?!!"

"Bass solo."
Hannibal
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Post by Hannibal »

You forgot one.

How do you get a drummer to play softer?

Put sheet music in front of him.

HA!

Yes, I have been paid for the pizza before, but only once.
I love it when a plan comes together.
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songsmith
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Post by songsmith »

What's the difference between a drummer and a trampoline? You take off your shoes to jump on a trampoline.

...and my all-time favorite musician joke, told to me by our own Bobby Hurricane:
What does a stripper do with her asshole before going onstage? Drops him off at band practice.
That one still kills me.--------->JMS
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daveb
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Post by daveb »

Q. What happened when the bass player locked his keys in the car?

A. It took 2 hours to get the drummer out.
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ASB10
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Post by ASB10 »

I heard Lars Ulrich say this one in an interview one time:

How many drummers does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

One, but he never changes the fucking thing, he just sits there and waits for the world to revolve around him.....

Ironic...isn't it??

Not to be outdone by...How many emo kids does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None, they'll all just go sit in the corner and cry....
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