Girlfriend 6.0 vs. Wife 1.0

[HurricaneBob]

Oldie but a goldie

Girlfriend 6.0 vs. Wife 1.0

Last year a friend of mine upgraded from GirlFriend 6.0 to Wife 1.0 and found that it's a memory hog leaving very little system resources available for other applications. He is now noticing that Wife 1.0 is also spawning Child Processes which are further consuming valuable resources. No mention of this particular phenomena was included in the product brochure or the documentation, though other users have informed him that this is to be expected due to the nature of the application.

Not only that, Wife 1.0 installs itself such that it is always launched at system initialization, where it can monitor all other system activity. He's finding that some applications such as PokerNight 10.3, BeerBash 2.5, and PubNight 7.0 are no longer able to run in the system at all, crashing the system when selected (even though they always worked fine before). During installation, Wife 1.0 provides no option as to the installation of undesired Plug-Ins such as MotherInLaw 55.8 and BrotherInLaw Beta release. Also, system performance seems to diminish with each passing day.

Some features he'd like to see in the upcoming wife 2.0.

a "Don't remind me again" button
a Minimize button
An install shield feature that allows Wife 2.0 be installed with the option to uninstall at any time without the loss of cache and other system resources
An option to run the network driver in promiscuous mode which would allow the system's hardware probe feature to be much more useful.
I myself decided to avoid the headaches associated with Wife 1.0 by sticking with Girlfriend 7.0. Even here, however, I found many problems. Apparently you cannot install Girlfriend 7.0 on top of Girlfriend 6.0. You must uninstall Girlfriend 6.0 first. Other users say this is a long standing bug that I should have known about. Apparently the versions of Girlfriend have conficts over shared use of the I/O port. You think they would have fixed such a stupid bug by now. To make matters worse, The uninstall program for Girlfriend 6.0 doesn't work very well leaving undesirable traces of the application in the system. Another thing -- all versions of Girlfriend continually popup little annoying messages about the advantages of upgrading to Wife 1.0.




Bug Warning
Wife 1.0 has an undocumented bug. If you try to install Mistress 1.1 before uninstalling Wife 1.0, Wife 1.0 will delete MSMoney files before doing the uninstall itself. Then Mistress 1.1 will refuse to install, claiming insufficient resources.

Bug work-arounds: To avoid this bug, try installing Mistress 1.1 on a different system and never run any file transfer applications such as Laplink 6.0. Also, beware of similar shareware applications that have been known to carry viruses that may affect Wife 1.0. Another solution would be to run Mistress 1.1 via a UseNet provider under an anonymous name. Here again, beware of the viruses which can accidently be downloaded from the UseNet.

Tech Support Suggestions
These are very common problem men complain about, but is mostly due to a primary misconception. Many people upgrade from Girlfriend 6.0 to Wife 1.0 with the idea that Wife 1.0 is merely a Utilities & Entertainment program. Wife 1.0 is indeed an operating system and designed by its creator to run everything.

It is unlikely you would be able to purge Wife 1.0 and still convert back to Girlfriend 6.0. Hidden operating files within your system would cause Girlfriend 6.0 to emulate Wife 1.0 so nothing is gained. It is impossible to uninstall, delete, or purge the program files from the system once installed. You cannot go back to Girlfriend 6.0 because Wife 1.0 is not designed to do this.

Some have tried to install Girlfriend 7.0 or Wife 2.0 but end up with more problems than the original system. Look in your manual under "Warnings - Alimony/Child support". I recommend you keep Wife 1.0 and deal with the situation.

I suggest installing background application program C:\YES DEAR to alleviate software augmentation. Having installed Wife 1.0 myself, I might also suggest you read the entire section regarding General Partnership Faults (GPFs). You must assume all responsibility for faults and problems that might occur, regardless of their cause. The best course of action will be to enter the command C:\APOLOGIZE. In any case avoid excessive use of C:\YES DEAR because ultimately you may have to give the APOLOGIZE command before the operating system will return to normal. The system will run smoothly as long as you take the blame for all the GPFs.

Wife 1.0 is a great program, but very high-maintenance. Consider buying additional software to improve the performance of Wife 1.0. I recommend Flowers 3.1 and Diamonds 2K. Do not, under any circumstances, install Secretary with Short Skirt 3.3. This is not a supported application for Wife 1.0 and is likely to cause irreversible damage to the operating system.

Best of Luck,
Tech Support

[AtoMikEnRtiA]

.. i will remain in silence, as this is the greatest thing i have ever read ..

[Hannibal]

This is the neatest thing I have read in ages. I must illegally download this and email it to both friends and in-laws, as they all will have a file dump when they read this.

[Banned]

Hurricane, could write some software to help with my program, Divorced Wife 2.0. After deleting, I thought I was done with this, but still causing lots of problems.

[slink]

Thanks!! This is the best thing I've ever read on here!!

Its so real to life it hurts.

[Trucula]

I am sure all this would effect your "HARD DRIVE"

[Ron]

Hurricane, could write some software to help with my program, Divorced Wife 2.0. After deleting, I thought I was done with this, but still causing lots of problems.

It's currently impossible to completely delete any versions of Wife, Girlfriend or Divorced Wife without taking the risk of a permanent lockup. You should have read the entire user license agreement before installing them into your domain.

[songsmith]

I prefer Dog 1.0. It is generally more user-friendly and intuitive, and uses far less resources. It can be installed as freeware, in many cases, and the multi-source versions are usually just as viable and friendly as the expensive single brand types.
Of course, it does lack a compatible I/O port; though I have seen pictures of users interfacing with the Dog 1.0 I/O port on the Internet, that doesn't appeal to me. I'm guessing that practice could eventually bite you in the ass. I leave it's I/O port alone, and concentrate on my own dongle. ------>JMS

[Starr]

[Trucula]

One nice thing about Dog 1.0 is you can be gone a week and their still glad to see ya when you get home!

[Charltor]

Yeah when wife 2.0 crashes on me, I revert back to hand 1.5 and never have any lockups, smooth as can be. I wanna get anal 2.2 and do a fresh install on wife 2.0, defragmenting her drive didn't help, so i have to boot her up with my floppy and go into safe mode.

[Banned]

I've been able to resolve many problems with Girlfriend 6.0 by implementing Open Source licensing. This allows us to install all the shareware we want, which is used on a demo basis and uninstalled whenever desired. Of course, this increases the need for proper antivirus protection.

[HurricaneBob]

Anyone have a copy of vacation 6.0?

[songsmith]

Ah, Hand 1.5... not necessarily my favorite program, but I find myself using it a lot. It a very popular utility. It's funny, you can TALK about using Hand 1.5 all you want, but actually USE it in front of people, say in an internet cafe or in an office, and they all start pointing and laughing as if they don't use it. I was using Hand 1.0 once as a teenager, my mom walked into the room ... and the system crashed. It's one of those program everybody uses, but still has a certain stigma attached. Like Kazaa.
You should try Hand 2.0. Turns out, it's on the flipside of 1.0. I tried a Beta version, and it seemed sort of unfamiliar at first, but I got used to it quickly... I almost wore out my joystick. The main difference is it aims your dongle in a different direction.----------->JMS

[Charltor]

who needs vacation 6.0 when there's Bonghits 4.20! gurgle gurgle gurgle....................graphics already look better!

[Charltor]

LMFAO!!! songsmith, thats sum funny shit there!!

[songsmith]

Thanks, I'm here all week. Try the brisket, and don't forget to tip your waitstaff. ---->JMS

[HurricaneBob]

who needs vacation 6.0 when there's Bonghits 4.20! gurgle gurgle gurgle....................graphics already look better!

Vacation 6.0 is bundled with Amsterdam.exe and a USB 8 port Hookah..
without the dreaded Bonghits ragweed hack.
Also included is a mysql database and calender for memory loss.

[Charltor]

LMFAO!!! Hurricane...too much!!!


p.s. Bobby...if The 'Canes ever need an opener when you guyz tour in Amsterdam be sure to give FEDUP a call.

BLUES & BUDZ.. that could be the Budbowl theme next year!

[HurricaneBob]

HAHA! Hopefully i get a night out to catch you guys, my neck needs a workout. I havent ran METAL.EXE in so long!

[generationgap]

Extra comments on Girlfriend 6.0 to Wife 1.0 conversion "special concideration must be taken as said before with the threat of virus
attack.
Not alone will Girlfriend 6.0, Wife 2.0, Divorced Wife 1.0 and Mistress 1.1 will misconfigure,
also causing your ram to shrink with complex deterioration of hard drive
performance.
Thus followed by complete main processor failure--
(irreversable lock up/lock out), with no mention of all Fun 69.69
programing will be erased.
With so much stress on the system, dangerous overload may occure
subjectting the main frame to pirated Milkdud (_!_) worm.
This will shift the main frame to accept Gaay 101 file, transferring
corupted files to the ram, hard drive, and processor.....
In the event this takes place there is no fix to date.
Tech support is currently working on a (xxpatchxx or plug) fix but is still in developement.
Updates forthcomming....

[f.sciarrillo]

That stuff is so true. I wish there was a way to completely uninstall Mother-in-law 1.0. It's more of a trojan than a program ..

[songsmith]

Yeah, it just sits there in the background, prompting Wife 1.0, and directing resources. -------->JMS

[Banned]

That stuff is so true. I wish there was a way to completely uninstall Mother-in-law 1.0. It's more of a trojan than a program ..

If you'r having a problems with mother- in-law 1.0 just run your antivirus program and then quarntine the mother-in-law program works like a charm, had to do it a time or too.

[Colton]

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