Next Asinine Thread..

AtoMikEnRtiA · Post by **AtoMikEnRtiA** » Wednesday Jan 25, 2006

Topic of discussion:

Cornfields.. why does it hurt when you walk backwards, naked through them?

I open the floor to discussion, and debate.

RAM Z · Post by **RAM Z** » Wednesday Jan 25, 2006

Take the corn cobs out of your butt dude! That might fix yer problem you sick puppy!

AtoMikEnRtiA · Post by **AtoMikEnRtiA** » Wednesday Jan 25, 2006

actually.. ive never had this experience..

but i hear its quite painful... i figured somebody on here would be a resident expert in this field (EDIT: haha take a second, and have a good laugh at that...), and could explain it to us..

plus, it seems like stupid threads are going over, so i dont know

RAM Z · Post by **RAM Z** » Thursday Jan 26, 2006

I'm just pick'n man! I don't know about running through backwards but, I do know they will beat the shit out of yer car or truck if you happen to be chase'n down the elusive Skuzzelbutt through one of these said corn fields. l.o.l.

Before any one askes Skuzzelbutt is a creature from South Park who has celery for his arm and Patrick Duffy for his left leg.

HIMfag666 · Post by **HIMfag666** » Monday Jan 30, 2006

now i dont know all the dynamics of this, but i'd imagine that you'd either have to be running really fuckin fast or have a really loose asshole for a corn cob to go up there. like ok, true story: i have a relative that works at a hospital (locally) they had a guy come into the er and had a carrot stuck up his ass, he said he was cooking and backed up into the counter. his cornhole would have to be gaping to have backed up into the counter and had a carrot just slide right in. i'd imagine the same would go for the cornfield scenario.

songsmith · Post by **songsmith** » Monday Jan 30, 2006

I read a magazine for EMT's a few years back... they had an article about a guy who "somehow" got a regulation softball up his rectal cavity. They (ugh) had pictures and everything. After trying a home-made tool with a screw on the end, they finally had to operate.
Any ER staffer can tell you that foreign objects are far more common than you might think, and are almost never women. It's a twisted world we live in, my friends.
Incidentally, I'm NOT an expert on this subject.

--->JMS

RAM Z · Post by **RAM Z** » Monday Jan 30, 2006

Songsmith ,that has to be one of the sickest and craziest things I ever heard ! A softball

? How in the hell, wait a minute I don't even wanna know what that sick fuck's excuse was for that one! Sheesh, what was he think'n ? Maybe he should've tied a string to it first ,ya know kinda like a softball tampon!

Trucula · Post by **Trucula** » Monday Jan 30, 2006

This reminds me of Dave Atell this past weekend on Comedy Central talking about a guy with a cucumber up there,,Hey it happens! in some bazzar gardening accident,,,LOL...said to avoid jokes in the ER, you need a pair of ice tonges and a good friend who can keep a secret!....That guy is funny...and gets paid to party!...What a dream job!
Can't wait till Feb. I have 3rd row seats to George Carlin in State College...3rd should be far enough back I don't end up in a joke!...LOL

Trucula · Post by **Trucula** » Monday Jan 30, 2006

RAM Z wrote:Songsmith ,that has to be one of the sickest and craziest things I ever heard ! A softball ? How in the hell, wait a minute I don't even wanna know what that sick fuck's excuse was for that one! Sheesh, what was he think'n ? Maybe he should've tied a string to it first ,ya know kinda like a softball tampon!

Gives a whole new meaning to keeping an "eye on the ball"....musta thought they ment the brown eye!...LMAO

RAM Z · Post by **RAM Z** » Monday Jan 30, 2006

That's funny dude!

HIMfag666 · Post by **HIMfag666** » Monday Jan 30, 2006

another story from a local hospital: guy comes in with a pain in his ass, drs found a drivers liscense in his rectum. funny thing was it wasnt folded or bent at all. AND IT WASNT EVEN THE GUYS LISCENSE!!!!! he said he was playing a joke on a friend and stole his liscense and stuck it up his butt. and there was even a gerbal story from the same hospital...but i dont think we need to speak of this anymore.

the herald · Post by **the herald** » Monday Jan 30, 2006

Do you remember the jackass episode when he put the hot wheel up his ass and played stupid at the doctors?

pretty !@#$in sick

RAM Z · Post by **RAM Z** » Monday Jan 30, 2006

Yeah I remember that one dude! Very funny stuff but, also very sick.

AtoMikEnRtiA · Post by **AtoMikEnRtiA** » Monday Jan 30, 2006

the herald wrote:Do you remember the jackass episode when he put the hot wheel up his ass and played stupid at the doctors? pretty !@#$in sick

didnt they do that with a hot wheel and a condom in the movie?

YankeeRose · Post by **YankeeRose** » Monday Jan 30, 2006

Trucula, good for you! Hopefully he'll be back again next year. I'd heard an ad once, never caught where he was going to be, or when, and then figured it was sold out, as I never heard it again.

AtoMikEnRtiA wrote: didnt they do that with a hot wheel and a condom in the movie?

Yeah, if I remember correctly, the Hot Wheel was inside the Condom.
I thought it was a silly show and an even sillier movie, but the kids wanted to Rent it!

Did anyone else ever see the hilarious Saturday Night Live
sketch, "Appalachain Emergency Room"? The one patient always came in with things stuck up there and the most far fetched excuses you've ever heard.

Some of the items I recall are a "Stretch Armstrong" and bottle of Axe Body Spray. The patient demonstrated on his way out the the latter still sprayed!

Trucula · Post by **Trucula** » Monday Jan 30, 2006

Thanks YankeeRose,, Can't wait...I got lucky...a friend from a band I use to be in had the tickets and called me outta the blue to go...They get good tickets because of family ties to the college...They had me close seats for David Copperfield too.
Always cool to see any classic performer!...Ya don't get too many chances for that!

RAM Z · Post by **RAM Z** » Tuesday Jan 31, 2006

Ha , Stretch Armstrong , ain't heard that in a while !