One afternoon a wealthy lawyer was riding in his limousine when he saw two men along the roadside eating grass.
Disturbed, he ordered his driver to stop and he got out to investigate.
He asked one man, "Why are you eating grass?"
We don't have any money for food," the poor man replied. "We have to eat grass."
Well, then, you can come with me to my house and I'll feed you," the lawyer said.
"But, sir! I have a wife and two children with me. They are over there, under that tree"
"Bring them along," the lawyer replied.
Turning to the other poor man he stated, "You come with us also."
The second man, in a pitiful voice then said, "But sir, I also have a wife and SIX children with me!"
"Bring them all, as well," the lawyer answered.
They all entered the car, which was no easy task, even for a car as large as the limousine was.
Once underway, one of the poor fellows turned to the lawyer and said, "Sir,you are too kind. Thank you for taking all of us with you."
The lawyer replied, "Glad to do it. You'll really love my place; the grass is almost a foot high!"
Lawyer Joke
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ToonaRockGuy
- Diamond Member
- Posts: 3091
- Joined: Tuesday Dec 17, 2002
- Location: Altoona, behind a drumset.
Lawyer Joke
Dood...
One day, a busload of lawyers, heading to a convention, was traveling along a country road when one the tires blew out, causing the bus to veer off the road, through a fence and into a field of a nearby farm. The farmer rushed out of the barn when he heard the crash, saw the smoke and quickly ran to the bus to see what happened and how he could help.
About two weeks later, police authorities, involved in a tri-state search for the bus and its occupants, came across the farm. The farmer was busy repairing the mangled fence and the damaged bus was parked next to his barn. Very near to the fence damage was a large area of field that looked like it had been recently dug up.
The police oficer asked the farmer if he’d seen the bus full of lawyers, to which he replied, “yes,” then he described the crash, telling the investigator that all died in the crash. “I buried them here in the field,” the farmer added.
“No one survived the crash?” asked the police officer.
To which the farmer said, “Well, a few of them said they were still alive, but you know how lawyers lie.”
r:>)
About two weeks later, police authorities, involved in a tri-state search for the bus and its occupants, came across the farm. The farmer was busy repairing the mangled fence and the damaged bus was parked next to his barn. Very near to the fence damage was a large area of field that looked like it had been recently dug up.
The police oficer asked the farmer if he’d seen the bus full of lawyers, to which he replied, “yes,” then he described the crash, telling the investigator that all died in the crash. “I buried them here in the field,” the farmer added.
“No one survived the crash?” asked the police officer.
To which the farmer said, “Well, a few of them said they were still alive, but you know how lawyers lie.”
r:>)
That's what she said.
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YankeeRose
- Diamond Member
- Posts: 2523
- Joined: Saturday Oct 09, 2004
- Location: Altunea, PA
- Contact:
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Bert|Evil
- Platinum Member
- Posts: 590
- Joined: Wednesday Apr 20, 2005
- Location: Sesame Street 2: Electric Boogaloo
One of my all time favorites:
A sharp dressed man was walking down the street one day on his way to work. As he began to cross an intersection, he noticed a tradesman out of the corner of his eye. The sharp dressed guy walked up to the tradesman and asked him what he was doing. The tradesman replied, “I was sent to this intersection to build a sign”. The sharp dressed man noted that, “I’m a bit of a handy man myself… hopefully I’ll get to check out your work later”.
After putting in a day’s work, the sharp dressed man comes to the same intersection and sees that the handyman is done with the sign, which reads, “All Lawyers are Cat Molesters”. The sharp dressed man taps the handyman on the shoulder and says, “hey buddy, that’s a great effort… but it really offends me”. The tradesman asks, “are you a lawyer?”. The sharp dressed guy replies, “NO!!… I’m a Cat Molester!!!”.
A sharp dressed man was walking down the street one day on his way to work. As he began to cross an intersection, he noticed a tradesman out of the corner of his eye. The sharp dressed guy walked up to the tradesman and asked him what he was doing. The tradesman replied, “I was sent to this intersection to build a sign”. The sharp dressed man noted that, “I’m a bit of a handy man myself… hopefully I’ll get to check out your work later”.
After putting in a day’s work, the sharp dressed man comes to the same intersection and sees that the handyman is done with the sign, which reads, “All Lawyers are Cat Molesters”. The sharp dressed man taps the handyman on the shoulder and says, “hey buddy, that’s a great effort… but it really offends me”. The tradesman asks, “are you a lawyer?”. The sharp dressed guy replies, “NO!!… I’m a Cat Molester!!!”.
The Psychiatrist
A guy walks into a Psychiatrist office wearing nothing but plastic wrap around his waste. The Doctor looks at him an says, "Sir, I can clearly see your NUTS!"
Have a YUMMY DAY!