About 2 weeks ago, me and 2 of my friends go in, thinking about putting some time in on the treadmill, to sweat off some of the old flab. We’re cutting through the free weights and I recognize two of my old buddies (brothers... not brutha's, brothers) from school working out. Those 2 are into multiple reps, with light weight, to stay cut, but always working out together…. Both are into martial arts and built like Bruce Lee, got the moves too!
Anyhow, we attempt to stop and say hello, and notice this freak, in an oil stained Puma jumpsuit, like something from the early 80’s, standing about five feet in front of the bench, slowly rubbing his junk with one hand and his bicep with the other
. I mean, he’s got aviators in his hair, and just kept licking his lips and shit….. ok Tom Cruise wannabe, get real, right? I give my friends the nod, and they tell me he’s been watching them for quite some time…. We start toward this jackass and he sprints to the locker room 
…. We just laughed and laughed. Then they tell me how this idiot was calling Jimmy, the pool guy, who happens to be vertically challenged ( a small person), a little bitch! We just thought, “this boy needs a good ole frog stompin!” 
We get to the cardio area, not too packed, couple of hotties working out
and there’s only 6 of the treadmills left. We saunter over, say hello and get started on the routine. We go for about 30 minutes, on the “rolling hills” workout… gives us full figured fella’s a chance to catch our breath! Anyhow, about 10 minutes into the workout, the same puma jumpsuit wearin jackass strolls in, aviators on his face, and a sony am/fm walker radio black taped to his upper arm, like it’s an IPOD or something! 
We’re watchin as this guys “struts” in front of the ladies, looking above his aviators at them, like he’s the shit or something, he does some “stretching” and proceeds to tug at his pants, like he’s trying to tear them off, but falls flat on his face! The whole room erupts in laughter!!
I felt bad for this dork, but he seemed okay when he got up, glasses all crooked across his nose…. It was funny! So he takes off these pants, stumbling around a bit to get them over his shoes… He looked like a monkey trying to fuck a football! Now, he’s wearing these lime green, daisy duke, up the ass, shorts and a white wife beater to boot! No Kidding!! He obviously thinks he’s a stud and the girls can’t help but laugh and stare at his nimble ass with the dark yellow pit stains on the beater! I mean he takes it to a new level, those shorts were so tight we saw his camel toe coming before he did…. Yes, you just couldn’t miss the toe! So, this idiot piles on to a treadmill, and by pile on I mean, trips and skips his way into a steady pace! I’m definitely not the most coordinated person, but this guy looked like Jerry Lewis on Crack
! He puts his headphones on giving everyone in the room the opportunity to chuckle and talk. Within minutes, as they’re programmed to do, the women start to chatter!“Look at the Veins in his arms!”, “I know! Put the needle down…addict! C’mon”, “Check out those legs!”, “Damn! He looks like Jimmy Walker with those chicken ass legs!” They go on and on for like 30 minutes until this moron gets off the treadmill. Then, he wobbles over, lifts the front of his beater in what appeared to be an attempt to wipe his face, and blows his nose! The girls just turn in disgust!! Then, to make the night complete, this guy lifts one leg to get his pants back on and a pair of socks falls from his crotch
!!! No Shit! His face turned so red… he just grabbed his stuff and ran out… it was freaking hilarious! The best night out I’ve had in a long time! We get cleaned up and head out to the lot, only to hear some screams coming from this old dodge van… with the tear drop window on the sides. Thinking that some girl is being attacked, my buddies and I run to the van
, we hear someone yelling “who’s the bitch now!” and what sounds like slapping! We tear open the back doors, only to find Puma boy on his hands and knees, biting his lower lip, with Jimmy, the pool guy, giving him one up the ass and red hand prints on his butt cheek! Without missing a beat, Jimmy looks at us and says “can you give me and MY bitch a few moments alone 
?” We just start laughing, shut the doors, and walked to the car…. I wish I would’ve had the camera! That moment in time….. priceless!! It was a freaking hilarious night... needless to say, Jimmy's been a lot happier these days and the last anyone saw of his "bitch" was down at the outback with one of his "friends".... do chicks have adams apples? 
---->JMS