Wanna be the alpha male? Get out your notepads kiddies...

[Banned]

So I head out to this party last night. Wife beater, Jeans, Aviator Glasses, and my gallon jug of water. I take a spot on the couch, staring at the TV and slugging my H2O. Chick approaches me to talk, and the following ensues:

Her: You want a beer or something?
Me: <Condescending Sneer>
Her: All right, fine you don't have to be a dick about it.

I was acting ALPHA, but came on too strong, so as she was walking away I said, "Yeah, well, I actually drink this because I'm really into bodybuilding and I'm trying to get super cut up." She's like, "Yeah I can tell you have a really good body." I start rubbing my abs and saying how hard I worked them today, and she asks if she can have a peek. At this point, I start speaking louder.

"My ABS... You want to see MY ABS? I don't know if I can SHOW MY ABS in the MIDDLE OF THIS PARTY." All the other chicks flocked as I lifted up my beater and revealed those six prize ripples. Then some 5'10" 140 lb 13 inch bicep pretty boy shows up.

Pretty Boy: <Lifting up shirt> What, you think you're special? You're nothing. (He had a decent six pack but no muscle, I call them SKINNY PACKS>

I take a big slug of my water jug and plot my next move. I ripped off my beater and hit the crowd with a lat flare. Excited Shrieks and cries of "Oh my god, they look like WINGS!" ripped through the party. Pretty boy then proceeds to show his abs again (What else is he gonna do; flash his 13" water pistols?). I look at him, take another slug of water and say, "Game over." With a side tri and back double that will be talked about for ages, I got a standing ovation from the crowd. Ladies flocked to feel up my ripped body as pretty boy stood there. All I could do was laugh.

So at this point I knew I had my pick of any girl at the party. I approached a sexy brunette and invite her to the upstairs bathroom with me, so I could "Show her my massive 'twitching tuna poker'." 10 seconds after closing the door she was slobbering my knob.

As I finished, I walked straight out the front door, jacket over one arm and gallon of water in the other.

"Call me!" she screams as I pile into my car.

"We'll see" I respond (Keeping it alpha, letting her know she's nothing to me) and speed off into the night.

[FiddlePicker]

A real ladies' man. No wonder you're single and still living with your mother. I'm sorry to pull you back into the world of reality and all.


Out of curiosity, Rick Ramsy, is this you?

[Bert|Evil]

Out of curiosity, Rick Ramsy, is this you?

Yep, sounds as if someone knows good 'ol Mo!!!

[Quail Whale]

Do you write letters to Penthouse Forum, too? Oh my god they look like wings...hahahahaha... how much do you have to smoke before you come up w/ these things?

[lonewolf]

Just realized that I need a new pair of hip waders. Fortunately, they are on sale at Super Shoes.

[tonefight]

Out of curiosity, Rick Ramsy, is this you?

I've picked up certain phrases and such that would make me lean toward that also.

If so ................... you're still an idiot !!!!!!

[Mo Lester]

ah, NO! first of all I'm fat, and second I have not been on here for a while and would not come back and waste anyone's time with the rediculous story of one of my wet dreams. whoever that is squats to pee and needs to take his/her bullshit and fertilize some crops with it.

and hey, thanks for thinking so highly of me, guys!

[tonefight]

Rick maybe you're split personality is doing this ???? Have you been blacking out lately ???? Waking up is strange places confused of where you are and why you're there ????? Are you on any new medications ???? Did you switch to a new " supplier " for you're herbal substances ????

[E-Rokk]

This entire story makes me want to vomit and then set someonme on fire and laugh at them while i continue to douse them with gasoline

[esa]

No being sad Rick. I can see where they got it. They use quite a few of the same catch phrases you do. Also... this is kinda how we met.. you were slamming Ski and I had no clue who it was so, attack back at you...so..I kinda thought this might be you too...but wasn't quite sure. thought maybe you were out to have some undercover fun.
::pokes:: You're AJA too, aren't you?

[FiddlePicker]

Oops. SOrry my mistake. Just taking a stab at that. Thought I was right. No hard feelings then brother, right? And personally I dont think he's aja. Maybe metal rules. lots-of-laughs.

[tonefight]

Oops. SOrry my mistake. Just taking a stab at that. Thought I was right. No hard feelings then brother, right? And personally I dont think he's aja. Maybe metal rules. lots-of-laughs.

I still think you're onto something. In the "Urinal hang" post when I said "don't come see Never Enough" and " Woofburger " responded " don't worry I'll be at the next Never Enough "Giggage". Giggage is definatly a Rick Ramsey word. I still say BUSTED !!!!!!!!

[FiddlePicker]

Yes. I've heard that before. You see Rick was my first choice. My second all out choice was Curtis -I believe that's his real name. He goes by Pool Pimp. Which he definitately is not. I've played again him before on the table and have handed him back his balls and he's a complete asshole when it comes to women. Thinking he's the shit.
I'm not here to trash his good name or anything. Just saying that's his personality and that's the way he acts around women. He treats them like shit or worse when they blow him off and trust me I blew him off that evening. It was a joke and he is a jerk.
So, if this guy isn't Ramsy being a nut-bringing humor in a sick twisted way to the rock page,even though he has Ramsy kind of words, then he has to be Curtis being the arrogant self motivated horny jerk that he usually is.

[songsmith]

Oh, my God, they look like wings! On a panty shield!
I'm a fat guy, but underneath the blubber, I have a SEVEN pack! Thats right, y'all, I'm so g-darn manly, I have extra abdominal muscles. I need them, too, to support the ol' hoozywhatsis. I like to think I wield it like a weapon, like a warclub, like a scythe mowing down everything in its path. I like to think that. And that the Tooth Fairy and Santa and the Easter Bunny are merging into a mega-conglomerate to save redundant delivery costs. Figment Corporation. FigCorp. Look for us on the NASDAQ.---->JMS

[FiddlePicker]

Wings my friend? On a panty shield? I think not. That is my dragon tattoo. Tribal kind. It just is squished together here. I don't think my partner would like me with a flying pantyshield. A flying tampon perhaps, but a pantyshield is a little under my taste.

[Brian of the Clan Plush]

Wings my friend? On a panty shield? I think not. That is my dragon tattoo. Tribal kind. It just is squished together here.

uhh....I think he was referring to the quote in the original story....yanno, the "lat wings"


::: adds "tour guide on the short bus" to resume :::

[Bert|Evil]

Giggage is definatly a Rick Ramsey word. I still say BUSTED !!!!!!!!

I agree! He learned that at the Pauly Shore School of Linguistics.

Magna Cum Laude... Buuuudaaaaay!!

[bassist_25]

Giggage is definatly a Rick Ramsey word. I still say BUSTED !!!!!!!!

I agree! He learned that at the Pauly Shore School of Linguistics.

Magna Cum Laude... Buuuudaaaaay!!

Check it out! This week's (well, technically last week's) old sKool quote is a tribute to the brilliant thespian, Pauly Shore.

[songsmith]

Yep, I was referring to Woof's lats, not the tats. --->JMS

[bassist4life2004]

I know thats not Rick Ramsey, Rick is a goofball, not a douche bag, there is a huge difference.