For Those Musicians Who Have Toured...ROTFL!

[ToonaRockGuy]

Rock-N-Roll Lies From Onstage and On Tour:

It sounds great out front.
They’re prepaid at the airport.
I won’t get drunk on stage tonight.
It sounds better up by the board.
Your name’s on the list.
I’m all packed.
I’ll turn down tonight.
We’ll have a soundcheck tomorrow.
Yes I turned you up.
I’ll get up early and do it in the morning.
Don’t worry, there’s a t-shirt for everyone.
It’s only 5 minutes to the venue.
It’s only 5 minutes to the hotel.
It’s only 5 minutes to the airport.
I’ll be down in five minutes.
Don’t worry, there’ll be bonuses at the end of the tour.
Of course it’s a nice bus.
It’s okay, I’m with the band.
The booking is definite.
The show starts at eight.
My agent will take care of it.
I’m sure it will work.
Your tickets are at the door.
It sounds in tune to me.
Sure, it sounds fine at the back of the hall.
I know your mic is on.
I checked it myself.
The roadie took care of it.
Yes, the spotlights will be on you during your solo.
The stage mix sounds just like the program mix.
It’s the hottest pickup I could get.
The club will provide the P.A. and the lights.
We’ll have it ready before tonight.
If it breaks, we’ll fix it free.
The place was packed.
We’ll have you back next week.
Don’t worry, you’ll be the headliner.
It’s on the truck.
My last band had a record deal, but we broke up before recording the album.
Someone will be there early to let you in.
I’ve only been playing for a year.
I’ve been playing for twenty years.
We’ll have the flyers printed tomorrow.
The band drinks free.
You’ll get your cut tonight - no problem.
He’ll work the door for us tonight.
You’ll have no problem fitting that speaker cabinet in the trunk of your car.
There’ll be lots of roadies when you get there.
I know we’ll get some applause after the next tune.
We’ll have plenty of time for a sound check.
This is one of Jimi’s old Strats.
You won’t have to play any requests.
We have this great gig in Vegas next month.
The other band will be glad to let you use their P.A.
I am singing on key, the P.A.’s screwing up.
Sounds good to me.
You won’t have any trouble finding the place.
I’ve played there before.
We can turn down the volume if it’s too loud.
I just use this little amp for small gigs - I’ve got a Marshall stack at home.
Pay no attention to the man behind the curtain.

-Source: Phil Adler, sheets circulated within industry, reader input-

[Peltsinger]

oh how true ,all of them..lol

[Mysterytrain]

[CHICKSINGA]

Oh don't forget this one!!

"of course the roadie & sound tech are trustworthy & won't run off with your equipment & money!!