Traits of a "Band Killer"

moxham123 · Post by **moxham123** » Wednesday Jan 18, 2012

I found this on another music website

Traits of a "Band Killer"

In many bands, be it cover or original, there's one person who eventually becomes what is referred to as "The Band Killer."

You may have been in a bands with these guys/gals. Their traits may include (but are not limited to) the following:

1. This is often the least talented, least stage friendly, least charismatic, and most rude member of the band.

2. No level of success is good enough for this person. There's always "another level" of success that the band needs to get to, but they don't know how to get the band there and want someone else to do it.

3. Usually The Band Killer uses the words "we need to" when he or she should be saying "I need to."

4. While this person can dish out the criticism, any criticism towards them results in finger pointing back at the accuser and direct, public confrontation.

5. This person picks someone in the band that they feel like is the "problem" and then campaigns to everyone else against him or her, trying to result in that person's dismissal. Once that person is replaced, a new target is chosen.

6. This person insists on choosing the direction of the band even though they're the least qualified person to do so.

7. This person may have an alcohol or substance abuse problem. Often members of the band don't realize it and actually "enable" it by driving him or her to and from shows, practices, etc. and going out of their way to allow them to get high or drunk.

8. There's a significant other that speaks for the band member on a regular basis and causes trouble.

9. Long periods of inactivity are followed by unexpected bursts of strong desire to practice frequently and without notice. In other words, the band needs to progress at this person's pace and they throw a fit if it doesn't.

10. While this person has no job, they can't seem to find the time to promote, book, learn songs or support the band in any way - despite having the most free time and expecting to be accommodated at their leisure.

These are just a few examples of a "band killer" and there may be more.

lonewolf · Post by **lonewolf** » Wednesday Jan 18, 2012

None of the above. This sums it up:

sstuckey · Post by **sstuckey** » Wednesday Jan 18, 2012

Like you crave the cock! Now that's some funny shit right there!!!!!

TheBMC · Post by **TheBMC** » Wednesday Jan 18, 2012

Lmfao

good post.

lonewolf · Post by **lonewolf** » Thursday Jan 19, 2012

Rock and roll confidential has some funny shit, but that cartoon has a lot of truth to it.

Lately, a number of people, including myself, can't manage a band with all the side projects. People get fired, bands split up, years of hard work go down the tubes. Its bullshit.

"Don't worry, my side project won't interfere with the band."

Yeah, bullshit.

RobTheDrummer · Post by **RobTheDrummer** » Thursday Jan 19, 2012

I've played in a band with that guy before...

bassist_25 · Post by **bassist_25** » Thursday Jan 19, 2012

lonewolf wrote:Rock and roll confidential has some funny shit, but that cartoon has a lot of truth to it.

Lately, a number of people, including myself, can't manage a band with all the side projects. People get fired, bands split up, years of hard work go down the tubes. Its bullshit.

"Don't worry, my side project won't interfere with the band."

Yeah, bullshit.

+1

I recognize Moxham's OP from Talkbass, which is ironic, because the general wisdom on Talkbass is that having a bazillion projects is a good thing. I'm usually the wet blanket who comes on and has to tell people that, no, unless you're a hired gun/freelancer, then being a part of a bazillion bands is not a good thing if anybody actually wants to be in a sucessfully gigging project - either become a full-fledged member of a band or be a freelancer and act accordingly. Exceptions are projects in which booking is written in stone at the beginning of the gigging/fiscal year and you can work around those dates without causing your bandmates to sit home because you're moonlighting or if your other projects are strictly recording projects, Tuesday night acoustic duos, or something similar.

...then again, I've gotten sub work due to players not being available due to other gig commitments, so maybe I should rethink my philosophy.

Drum-Wolf · Post by **Drum-Wolf** » Friday Jan 20, 2012

I don't know, I was thinking after reading this several times that unless you're a Mike Portnoy-type equivalent in desire, talent, & availability, your other project will most likely suffer, whichever one is your lesser priority, this is. Saying that, there's always the exception I suppose.

bassist_25 · Post by **bassist_25** » Friday Jan 20, 2012

Drum-Wolf wrote:I don't know, I was thinking after reading this several times that unless you're a Mike Portnoy-type equivalent in desire, talent, & availability, your other project will most likely suffer, whichever one is your lesser priority, this is. Saying that, there's always the exception I suppose.

I think you may be able to get away with it more easily at that level, since bands often go on tour for a while, come home, and take time off. Then they either get together, write, record, and start the whole process over again - so they do have time for side projects in the down time. Most bands on the local or regional level are generally working year-round.

Then again, Portnoy did get fired from Dream Theater after he did the A7x gig.

Merge · Post by **Merge** » Friday Jan 20, 2012

I thought Portnoy quit DT.

MistValkyrie · Post by **MistValkyrie** » Saturday Jan 21, 2012

Merge wrote:I thought Portnoy quit DT.

Technically he quit to join Avenged Sevenfold, they said they didn't want him as a permanent member so he crawled back to DT to ask to be let in the band and they told him to take a hike.

jetcitywoman · Post by **jetcitywoman** » Saturday Jan 21, 2012

what a depressing thread..

play as many gigs as you can book/stomach.$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$(besides narcissism why play

even the smallest/worst gigs play your heart out.(you're there anywhere, we the few we'll remember you)

smooze the drunks/ make MEEEEE feel like a million $! allow me to repeat: MAKE MEEEE FEEL LIKE A MILLION DOLARS! Like ***I** am the only one your playing too. We your B&B (bread n butter). hey!, we're drunk (your probably drunktoo or wanna be)what do you expect , BOND. humor us(its your 2nd job)

b/w sets, spread out like special forces haha, your task is to make contact with all indigents! bring them into the fold to accomplish your mission!(showing up @your next gig lol, in droves!)

mission #1!: make friends, it' takes no more work than making fiends.

lastly, YOUR there because THEY(audience) is there. If they aren't there, YOU aren't there. Symbiosis