Help With Biblical Interperetation

[ToonaRockGuy]

My Sister posted this on FB, and I thought it was too awesome not to share here...enjoy.

In her radio show, Dr Laura Schlesinger said that homosexuality is an abomination according to Leviticus 18:22, and cannot be condoned under any circumstance. The following response is an open letter to Dr. Laura, which was posted on the Internet.

Dear Dr. Laura:

Thank you for doing so much to educate people regarding God's Law. I have learned a great deal from your show, and try to share that knowledge with as many people as I can. When someone tries to defend the homosexual lifestyle, for example, I simply remind them that Leviticus 18:22 clearly states it to be an abomination .... End of debate. I do need some advice from you, however, regarding some other elements of God's Laws and how to follow them.

1. Leviticus 25:44 states that I may possess slaves, both male and female, provided they are purchased from neighboring nations. A friend of mine claims that this applies to Mexicans, but not Canadians. Can you clarify? Why can't I own Canadians?

2. I would like to sell my daughter into slavery, as sanctioned in Exodus 21:7. In this day and age, what do you think would be a fair price for her?

3. I know that I am allowed no contact with a woman while she is in her period of Menstrual uncleanliness -Lev15: 19-24. The problem is how do I tell? I have tried asking, but most women take offense.

4. When I burn a bull on the altar as a sacrifice, I know it creates a pleasing odor for the Lord -Lev.1:9. The problem is my neighbors. They claim the odor is not pleasing to them. Should I smite them?

5. I have a neighbor who insists on working on the Sabbath. Exodus 35:2 clearly states he should be put to death. Am I morally obligated to kill him myself, or should I ask the police to do it?

6. A friend of mine feels that even though eating shellfish is an abomination, Lev. 11:10, it is a lesser abomination than homosexual ity. I don't agree. Can you settle this? Are there 'degrees' of abomination?

7. Lev. 21:20 states that I may not approach the altar of God if I have a defect in my sight. I have to admit that I wear reading glasses. Does my vision have to be 20/20, or is there some wiggle-room here?

8. Most of my male friends get their hair trimmed, including the hair around their temples, even though this is expressly forbidden by Lev. 19:27. How should they die?

9. I know from Lev. 11:6-8 that touching the skin of a dead pig makes me unclean, but may I still play football if I wear gloves?

10. My uncle has a farm. He violates Lev.19:19 by planting two different crops in the same field, as does his wife by wearing garments made of two different kinds of thread (cotton/po lyester blend). He also tends to curse and blaspheme a lot. Is it really necessary that we go to all the trouble of getting the whole town together to stone them? Lev.24:10-16. Couldn't we just burn them to death at a private family affair, like we do with people who sleep with their in-laws? (Lev. 20:14)

I know you have studied these things extensively and thus enjoy considerable expertise in such matters, so I'm confident you can help. Thank you again for reminding us that God's word is eternal and unchanging.

Your adoring fan,

James M Kauffman, Ed.D. Professor Emeritus, Dept. Of Curriculum, Instruction, and Special Education, University of Vermont

[Bloodsong]

nice.

[lonewolf]

Damn! I always wanted to buy me some Canadians. Guess I'll have to settle for Mexicans.

[Banned]

Damn! I always wanted to buy me some Canadians. Guess I'll have to settle for Mexicans.

You'll save some money.

[KeithReynolds]

Are you just realizing the Bible is outdated craziness that is of the old world????

If you actually take time and READ the Old Testament, theres some horrible stuff in there. The "law" and things he "instructed" people to included murder/genocide and incest. He instructed "his people" to rain horror upon other tribes and towns....all in his name. Sound familiar? We wont get into that one, that will be for another time.

Personally, I think someone just wanted to do a whole bunch of messed up stuff, and said that God made them do it. "Oh, God wants us to go slaughter every living thing in that town". We call people like that mass murderers and crazy now....but apparently if you do all that stuff thousands of years ago, you are a religious hero. Weird.


Back to the point, of course the bible is outdated. People that CLAIM to follow the bible completely are total liars. Theres all sorts of stupid weird requirements and laws that they just choose to ignore. Its because NOW...that stuff is insane. THEN, it mustve not been insane. Its all dated.
You can go on and on for years about all the questionable things floating around in the bible.
I bet the real "God" is offended by it.

[bassist_25]

Damn! I always wanted to buy me some Canadians. Guess I'll have to settle for Mexicans.

KRAMER: Jerry, I just picked up the Cubans at the bus station.
What's going on!?

JERRY: What?

KRAMER: They're not real Cubans. They're Dominicans.

JERRY: So?

KRAMER: So, Jerry, if my investors don't get Cubans, the whole deal's off.

JERRY: What's the difference?

KRAMER: Jerry, once you've had real Cubans, there's just nothing else like it.

JERRY: We're talking about people, right?

KRAMER: Yes, yes. The quality, the texture, the intoxicating aroma. These
guys don't have it.

JERRY: I thought they smelled pretty nice.

KRAMER: Jerry, your palate's unrefined.

[witchhunt]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6RT6rL2UroE&feature=fvst

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Lm-Mi1_lLo0

[ToonaRockGuy]

Are you just realizing the Bible is outdated craziness that is of the old world????

Um...no. I just saw something funny on Facebook and shared it here.

[KeithReynolds]

That wasnt a direct question to you at all, Kevin. It was a thought in the form of a general question that really wasnt to anyone.

I agree with you, I was just commenting.

[f.sciarrillo]

I don't believe the bible to be a book of craziness, Keith. There are some contradicting things in it, and a lot of it is from the customs of the times it was written. I find it more confusing than crazy.

[KeithReynolds]

Thats cool, dude. I understand. I think its crazy personally. Telling people to kill every living thing in towns ....or telling one to bang a relative ...is CRAZY to me. I guess its just a matter of personal taste and opinions.

In the old testament, it says that God commanded "his people" to constantly slaughter other people. WHY???
Dont we call those people TERRORISTS or MURDERERS now? Its ok back then though, right?
cause apparently God said to do it, so its ok. Does that make sense?!?

I just cant believe that the REAL CREATOR would command people to do things that are in the bible. I think those people just wanted to conquer shit, and slapped God's name on it and SOMEHOW that particular version got labeled as "truth".

If you put all the FACTS on paper and looked at it, im sure your view would be changed on this matter. People disassociate themselves from reason and common sense when it concerns the bible, religion , creation and faith.
Its still possible to believe in a single creator, that we will call "God" for the lack of a better term, without believing all the bullshit that has been attached to him/her/it by us stupid ass humans.

[Drum-Wolf]

I once asked a pastor to help me understand a few bible verses that I thought were contradictory & he couldn't do it. He couldn't explain them to me whatsoever. And I'm talking about a pastor of probably the largest Christian church in Johnstown. I'll just leave that as a statement. That always disturbed me...makes you wonder who's who or what's the real deal, if you really want to know or are just curious.

[Hawk]

I once asked a pastor to help me understand a few bible verses that I thought were contradictory & he couldn't do it. He couldn't explain them to me whatsoever. And I'm talking about a pastor of probably the largest Christian church in Johnstown. I'll just leave that as a statement. That always disturbed me...makes you wonder who's who or what's the real deal, if you really want to know or are just curious.

Honestly I'd be more afraid of a pastor who thought he knew everything, and I've met some who have all the answers. One man cannot know everything about something as complex as God or the Bible. I respect the pastor you talked to for admitting he's not perfect.


BTW Kevin, I thought the article was funny. Nothing more and nothing less thsn that.

[sstuckey]

Two things I learned never to discuss among friends, family, or any open forum for that matter....religion and politics. This site has it all!

[lonewolf]

Two things I learned never to discuss among friends, family, or any open forum for that matter....religion and politics. This site has it all!

You learned right about religion and, as many millions are beginning to understand, you learned wrong about politics.

[Naga]

Most religion these days is either theology, or "you're going to hell"-ology

[Blue Reality]

After watching West Wing I call this the Jed Bartlet argument. It's very clever and well constructed, but doesn't hold up relative to the subject matter. Anyone who would like to know why can pm me and we an carry on the conversation there.

[songsmith]

It's very clever and well constructed, but doesn't hold up relative to the subject matter.

I actually looked them all up. Each says exactly what the original post infers. One is either a Fundamentalist, taking the Bible as it appears, or not. Obviously, if one uses biblical adherence to advance bigotry, one should also be prepared to give up shellfish and pork, and send your wife into the wilderness when she's on her period. In fact, among the Leviticus rules, only the sacrifice of the bull is no longer biblically necessary, as the Crucifixion was the last Sacrifice that God ordained, and why Christ is called the Lamb of God.
I'm often amused at how Christians pick and choose from the Bible, to suit their own views and psychological needs. It's one of the reasons this former Sunday-School teacher is no longer religious. If God is not the construct of man, religion most certainly is.

[kayla]

It's very clever and well constructed, but doesn't hold up relative to the subject matter.

this. i'd post my opinion but i dont want this turning into a 95 page political type discussion.

[Blue Reality]

Exactly......... This would become a flame war like no others. Haven't received a pm yet......

[KeithReynolds]

Almost any religion argument any of us have is pointless...for the simple fact that people's religions usually have to do with where they are born.
If you were born in another country, youd believe THEIR religion was the REAL religion and its teachings are the truth.
If you were born in a muslim country, 99.9% chance youd be muslim and KNOW that thats the right one to follow.

Thats just 1 point there. Theres ALOT of things that most people dont consider when it comes to religion. Partly because they dont want to know. Its much easier to wear the blinders that come in the back of the bible. My mom is very guilty of that. Her reasoning on some things is insane and pretty embarrassing to me. Its almost like im ashamed to have come from someone who reasons the way she can. NO OTHER part of her life does she inject absurdness like she does with her views on religion or answers to my Q's.
For some reason, religion is where her thought process goes to shit. Why is it like that for people?

[MistValkyrie]

All I have to say is, you're all talking about a book of allegory and ancient laws written by several people over a large period of years several thousand years ago by human beings. It was also written in hebrew and aramaic and then translated out of those languages into greek, latin (or latin then greek, I don't remember), german, and then English and that was even almost a thousand years ago when it was okay ,and even common, for the church and monarchs to change things around to suit their own personal interests.
Yes, there are laws that were put in there, but it was because they were the laws that were already in place at the time IN THE OLD TESTAMENT. If you read the whole bible (which isn't even the whole bible at that...there are generally still parts missing that publishers don't think you should need to read) there's alot in there that contradicts other things in there. I think if you consider yourself a Christian, you should listen to the things that Jesus said: love each other, forgive people, live in peace. Lets face it, Jesus was a hippie and thats great, but so many people who claim to be his followers either dump out the happy love thy neighbor stuff because they're angry humans who will never be happy or they take the entire book literally, which most of it was never meant to be. Remember my first line? Most of the stories in the bible are allegorical in nature. Methusela, Jonah, the burning bush, etc were never meant to be taken at face value...they're like morality tales. So to think that this part of the bible that Dr. Laura (who I dislike for doing exactly what this thread is talking about, and I applaud your sister for standing up to her, even though she's entrenched so far in her own bullshit that it probably won't do any good) speaks of, containing a bunch of ancient laws set down by man, has any bearing on the laws of our country and our politicians, is frightening because I know she's only one of many people who don't understand this. I think its great to say you're a Christian, but if you don't follow the example that Jesus left us in these personal accounts, then you can't be. Plain and simple.
On another note, the Christian church deems it a sin to have sex before marriage, and in the catholic church its a sin to have non-procreatory intercourse (which means that all you Catholic hetero couples aren't allowed to have sex without intent to make a child), so since gay couples can't really have children in the traditional manner, and since -due to the unconstitutionalism of our government- they can't get married legally, this is a more logical approach to why homosexuals are sinful. Which is extremely silly to me.
Okay, sorry about writing a novel here.

[songsmith]

Well, Keith you have to balance faith, which is belief in something based on something that is not tangible, and the real-life that surrounds you. That's not to say that faith isn't real, or doesn't have positive benefits. One's faith is a source of strength in a world that doesn't always treat us well, there is hope that we will be okay sometime soon. I don't question people's faith in a Higher Power, that faith really does give comfort. I question the perceived authority that comes from that faith.
It's not something I treat lightly, I've put many hours of soul-searching into it, and choose not to simply accept someone else's version of anything. There are hundreds of denominations of Christianity alone, who are diametrically opposed on many things. All cannot be "right," so most likely, none are. I see so many that want me to abide by their personal faiths, and insist on it, and I see the folly in it, at least for me. God Himself allows freewill, and Christ insists that we love one another above all else... modern evangelicals seek obedience to their ideology above all else. Hence, the contradictory nature of views towards homosexuality vs. views toward eating shellfish or pork.

[KeithReynolds]

I completely understand what youre saying. I dont think faith is a bad thing. Its good for people to have something to believe it. I also think its important for people to know where their belief system originated from. Havent you ever wondered? Youd be totally surprised. It really kinda sucks. Look into that.

If a belief system originated from something that came from something else, can it be considered absolute truth? I dont see how. Thats the kind of things alot of people need to look into.
Wouldnt it be more impressive if your version of the "truth" was around since the beginning of civilization? It didnt show up for THOUSANDS of years after. A group of people were tired of getting the shit end of the stick, so they decided they were "chosen" and it went from there.

ALSO, so many book found in the dead sea scrolls with the "bible" are considered fake by "the church"....so they arent in the Bible. Why is that?? Those books tell of some crazy awesome stuff too! Why are they considered fake? Well, it goes back to Constantine and his little club to decide which books THEY thought were the best. Thats for another time though.

I am searching for truth too, but I dont think it all lies in a book that condones incest, extreme genocide, slavery and then tells of love and happiness. Come on, cleetus.

[kayla]

I also think its important for people to know where their belief system originated from. Havent you ever wondered? Youd be totally surprised. It really kinda sucks. Look into that.

this is pretty true. you would be surprised at the origins of some things. i've done endless hours of research. but because i was into a very strict baptist church - most of the doctrine i researched was biased in the baptist doctrine.

- kayla.