Need Advice

[kayla]

Seeking some advice from older musicians. Stuggling with the death of a musician and good friend of mine. Just need some advice - PM me please. Especially if you've dealt with this sort of situation before.

Thanks in advance.

- kayla.

[lonewolf]

Three close friends and bandmates in Forces died too young. Many, if not most of my oldest, closest friends did as well.

The best you can do is fondly remember them, honor them with your efforts and be thankful that you didn't join them.

[songsmith]

Life's a journey, with a destination. We, as humans, celebrate the beginning, and mourn the end, but really those parts aren't all that important, it's the journey itself.
Playing music taught me that. When I hit a certain age where it was obvious that I was never going to be the rock-star I'd always dreamed and worked towards being, I had to look back at what I'd done. Did I just waste an entire decade of my life? It took a few months for me to see that as a musician, I was privileged. I've been to countless events where, not only did I not have to pay to get in, they actually paid me. While most toil away at their jobs without thanks, when I finish a 3 1/2-minute task, people applaud, over and over. I've seen and done things the vast majority of people never experience, and I revel in it.
The point to all of this is that I learned that the journey through life is far better than the beginning or the end, and that's what we should concentrate on. If I passed on today, I've lived a life surrounded by people who love me, done lots of very cool things, and felt many things very deeply. I wouldn't want people to mourn for long, it's missing the point of life itself.
I hope you find it in yourself to move on soon, Kayla. The best part of your own journey hasn't even started yet.

[kayla]

I hope you find it in yourself to move on soon, Kayla. The best part of your own journey hasn't even started yet.

i really didnt want to post this publicly but i'm going to. and for anyone who judges me for my feelings - go ahead. i dont care. you go through this and see how it feels.

its not that i want to move on. i will never ever forget him. its just that i went for so long being ok with it. i saw some of the blessings in it - the things i learned and how its helped me grow a person and as a musician. his death really pushed me at the beginning to learn as much as possible, to get better and do it for him.

but lately i'm just angry about the whole situation. questioning it. it pisses me off to not to be able to have him there when i'm playing. supporting me. the most supportive person in my life is gone. i feel so empty. i can't even make it through typing this without crying.

i wish i could run away from the feeling but everytime i play, its there. i've thought about quitting music. but i can't - its to much in my soul.

i just dont know what to do. how to move forward.

[songsmith]

I hope you don't think I'm judging you. You must go at your own pace, we all know that. I just want you to know that even the people you lost wouldn't want you to grieve too long, would they? Surely, they would rather you relive good memories, and use the things they've taught you. All any of us leave behind is in the hearts of those we touched. The page gets turned without our permission, and I promise, someday you'll find that the part of themselves they gave are now a part of you, and you're supposed to pass that on to someone else, and it'll all make sense.
You really don't have to take my word for it, it'll happen anyway.
I stand by my assertion that the best part of your journey hasn't happened yet, so the sooner you get back on the path, the sooner you'll understand.

[kayla]

I hope you don't think I'm judging you. You must go at your own pace, we all know that.

no i knew you werent judging me. i apologize that it sounded that way.

i'm really tryin to move forward, just seems the last month i've been in a bad funk.

ive tried different things. ive put his name on my guitar straps and still carry his obit in my guitar case.

[robinhood]

girl, I know I can only imagine the amount of pain you've been through with losing him, but from the few times I did get to meet him, he was a very good, kind man. I know this may sound like I'm getting a bit religious, but Kayla, he lives on in your heart, and I'm sure he's somewhere watching down on you, and loving the fact of how much you're improving as a musician. It's what he would've wanted girl, and I think deep inside you know that more than anyone. I know we haven't known each other very long, but I've even seen you get tons better in what like a year? We remember the good times and the memories, that's all you can do. I know its painful, put he lives on in your heart, and when you play. Time helps the healing process as well, I've lost quite a few people I'm reminded of this year, and yes sometimes its still hard, but you just keep on truckin. I'm here if you ever need a listening ear.

[Merge]

Life's a journey, with a destination. We, as humans, celebrate the beginning, and mourn the end, but really those parts aren't all that important, it's the journey itself.
Playing music taught me that. When I hit a certain age where it was obvious that I was never going to be the rock-star I'd always dreamed and worked towards being, I had to look back at what I'd done. Did I just waste an entire decade of my life? It took a few months for me to see that as a musician, I was privileged. I've been to countless events where, not only did I not have to pay to get in, they actually paid me. While most toil away at their jobs without thanks, when I finish a 3 1/2-minute task, people applaud, over and over. I've seen and done things the vast majority of people never experience, and I revel in it.
The point to all of this is that I learned that the journey through life is far better than the beginning or the end, and that's what we should concentrate on. If I passed on today, I've lived a life surrounded by people who love me, done lots of very cool things, and felt many things very deeply. I wouldn't want people to mourn for long, it's missing the point of life itself.
I hope you find it in yourself to move on soon, Kayla. The best part of your own journey hasn't even started yet.

Very, very well stated, songsmith. Do you mind if I borrow this, I'll quote you on it.