Bass Player Looking For Work

Hawk · Post by **Hawk** » Saturday Apr 17, 2010

This was on Craig's List. It could have been on rockpage.
...................................................................................

I'm a great pro bass player looking for a new band, and have a lot of experience playing in all kinds of bands. I don't like to brag, but to be honest I'm the best bass player in Portland.

I am picky about the kind of music I play. I don't like playing in original bands, because most of the players in those bands aren't good enough to play covers, and I don't like country because it's for morons.

I'll play any style except reggae, ska, country, originals, classical, hip hop, rap, alternative, jazz, punk, new age, classic rock, or metal.

I play current rock, and only current rock, even though most of it sucks, so I'm extremely particular about the kind of music I play. Think Nirvana meets Eric Clapton, with a touch of Motor Head thrown in (I know they're not NEW, but that's the style of music I prefer). If that is the kind of music you play, hit me up, otherwise don't waste my time.

I'm ready to play immediately. I just need a little help financially to get my bass out of the pawn shop, and it would be great if you can loan me a little for strings, just until we get paid from our first gig, and I'll pay you back.

I'm going through a messy divorce, but fortunately I get my kids part of the time, usually on the weekends.

That won't be a problem though, because I can get a babysitter if I have enough notice if a gig comes up.

I don't have a phone right now, but I'm planning to get a prepaid one as soon as I get a job.

I'm staying with a friend right now and writing this on his computer, so you can contact me here.

He says I can stay here one more month before I have to find a new place.

I'm hoping to move back in with my Mom, but for some reason she's not returning my calls.

My car got repossessed recently, so it would be great if someone in the band can give me a ride and haul my bass, just until we get things going and we start making some serious money.

My brother knows a guy whose sister is dating the ex-drummer of a band in Fargo, North Dakota that used to get some bookings from an agent in Detroit whos cousin is the wife of a lawyer who was hiredto put together a deal for a band that almost got a contract with a big record company in Los Angelesbefore the deal fell through. Bottom line is, I've got great connections.

Yes, I am in RECOVERY, and part of recovery is admitting you have a problem, but I haven't had any significant relapses since my last stint in rehab, I only smoke a little pot, and only on the breaks,and I'm always careful nobody sees me in the parking lot. All other form of recreation wait until AFTER the gig!

Besides, unlike some other bass players in Portland that have on-going "issues" (you bass players know who you are) you know you can absolutely count on me staying sober and NOT HAVING A SUBSTANCE ABUSE OR ALCOHOL PROBLEM because my doctor says any of that stuff will interfere with the effectiveness of my medication.

I'm ready to play, so if you want the best bass player in Portland, hit me up!

Hey Joe (the "four-string thing")

bassist_25 · Post by **bassist_25** » Saturday Apr 17, 2010

I'd say it's a joke, but the irony is that it is representative of some musicians I know..

f.sciarrillo · Post by **f.sciarrillo** » Saturday Apr 17, 2010

I like that. If it is real, I can see why he can't find a gig ..

thebattle · Post by **thebattle** » Saturday Apr 17, 2010

hes being straight forward and honest which alot people have a problem doing. Who knows the statement " best bassist in portland" may sound like an ego problem unless there is nobody in that town that plays at all then he could be the best

onegunguitar · Post by **onegunguitar** » Saturday Apr 17, 2010

I would think that was written as a joke.

moxham123 · Post by **moxham123** » Saturday Apr 17, 2010

Who says there is a shortage of good bass players? Somebody should pick him up quickly.

Banned · Post by **Banned** » Saturday Apr 17, 2010

ROFLMAO!

Hawk · Post by **Hawk** » Saturday Apr 17, 2010

backlash bass wrote: ROFLMAO!

Me too.

sunsetbass · Post by **sunsetbass** » Saturday Apr 17, 2010

YIKES!!!!!!!!!

Flaw · Post by **Flaw** » Saturday Apr 17, 2010

come on guys don't make fun of my Craig's List add.

People like this make life worth living.

Merge · Post by **Merge** » Sunday Apr 18, 2010

That's awesome, lol.

felix'apprentice · Post by **felix'apprentice** » Sunday Apr 18, 2010

My brother knows a guy whose sister is dating the ex-drummer of a band in Fargo, North Dakota that used to get some bookings from an agent in Detroit whos cousin is the wife of a lawyer who was hiredto put together a deal for a band that almost got a contract with a big record company in Los Angelesbefore the deal fell through. Bottom line is, I've got great connections.

HAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA. bottom line is - i'm LMAO.

- kayla.

joltinjeff · Post by **joltinjeff** » Sunday Apr 18, 2010

[quote="felix'apprentice"]My brother knows a guy whose sister is dating the ex-drummer of a band in Fargo, North Dakota that used to get some bookings from an agent in Detroit whos cousin is the wife of a lawyer who was hiredto put together a deal for a band that almost got a contract with a big record company in Los Angelesbefore the deal fell through. Bottom line is, I've got great connections.

HAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA. bottom line is - i'm LMAO.

- kayla.[/quo

Wow, Kayla didnt think you were THAT connected!

felix'apprentice · Post by **felix'apprentice** » Sunday Apr 18, 2010

joltinjeff wrote:
felix'apprentice wrote:My brother knows a guy whose sister is dating the ex-drummer of a band in Fargo, North Dakota that used to get some bookings from an agent in Detroit whos cousin is the wife of a lawyer who was hiredto put together a deal for a band that almost got a contract with a big record company in Los Angelesbefore the deal fell through. Bottom line is, I've got great connections.

HAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA. bottom line is - i'm LMAO.

- kayla.[/quo

Wow, Kayla didnt think you were THAT connected!

i was quoting the ad, thought it was funny.

- kayla.

Hawk · Post by **Hawk** » Sunday Apr 18, 2010

Actually, I think the guy may have complied his post from multiple Rockpage adds...

rickster · Post by **rickster** » Sunday Apr 18, 2010

Your shitting me right?I am more ammused at the rockpagers on this thread who actually """think it "MIGHT' be a joke...

f.sciarrillo · Post by **f.sciarrillo** » Monday Apr 19, 2010

Hawk wrote:Actually, I think the guy may have complied his post from multiple Rockpage adds...

I thought that looked like some of your posts

hannible · Post by **hannible** » Monday Apr 19, 2010

Kinda like our bass player(Wayne Bass)...he`s always hangin on mark rossi everytime i see him...he won`t play songs he doesn`t want to play, or songs he thinks he can`t play! Sometimes he holds back mark from playing some of marks great leads on the keyboards,,,kinda like playing with a hand tied behind your back...It is frustrateing for mark im sure....but after going thru a time looking for a really good bass player, without all the problems, we decided on Wayne Bass....You have to hear Wayne take a bass lead to really appreciate just how good he is....it`s uncanny just how well wayne and mark play togeather....wayne going one way with his bass lines, mark singing and playing keyboard leads with harmonica...we never had any problems with wayne, doesn`t take up any space on stage .. never misses a note (well, hardly ever) and he plays for FREE!!! OOOHHHH ...I forgot to tell you Wayne Bass is one of Marks other personalities and his left hand!!

Asundor · Post by **Asundor** » Tuesday Apr 20, 2010

I think he was high when he wrote that add!!!!!

f.sciarrillo · Post by **f.sciarrillo** » Tuesday Apr 20, 2010

hannible wrote:Kinda like our bass player(Wayne Bass)...he`s always hangin on mark rossi everytime i see him...he won`t play songs he doesn`t want to play, or songs he thinks he can`t play! Sometimes he holds back mark from playing some of marks great leads on the keyboards,,,kinda like playing with a hand tied behind your back...It is frustrateing for mark im sure....but after going thru a time looking for a really good bass player, without all the problems, we decided on Wayne Bass....You have to hear Wayne take a bass lead to really appreciate just how good he is....it`s uncanny just how well wayne and mark play togeather....wayne going one way with his bass lines, mark singing and playing keyboard leads with harmonica...we never had any problems with wayne, doesn`t take up any space on stage .. never misses a note (well, hardly ever) and he plays for FREE!!! OOOHHHH ...I forgot to tell you Wayne Bass is one of Marks other personalities and his left hand!!

He sounds like a regular Ray Manzarek . I like this one

thebattle · Post by **thebattle** » Tuesday Apr 20, 2010

im not up with the whole craigs list thing went there once to see what its about didn't realize people posted random shit up there for shits.

f.sciarrillo · Post by **f.sciarrillo** » Tuesday Apr 20, 2010

thebattle wrote:im not up with the whole craigs list thing went there once to see what its about didn't realize people posted random shit up there for shits.

I usually go when I need a good laugh. Some of the stuff is just priceless.

songsmith · Post by **songsmith** » Tuesday Apr 20, 2010

I saw an ad on there a few weeks ago about used cinder blocks, that was a scream. The guy said that he didn't want any questions about the cinderblocks, because they're cinderblocks... what is there to know? He didn't care about your project, he didn't know if they'd work for your project, he didn't want to hear what you're building with them... oh, and he used the F-bomb 50 times (conservatively). It was like, "I f**king don't f**king care what you f**king want to f**king do with the f**king blocks, so f**king stop f**king annoying me with f**king calls and f**king e-mails about the f**king cinderblocks you f**king idiots!"

--->JMS