Dated Joke

[witchhunt]

Something reminded me of this.
What's white with a black asshole?

























The A-Team.

[onegunguitar]

[DogAlpha]

This Is Funny...

LET ME SEE IF I GOT THIS RIGHT.

IF YOU CROSS THE NORTH KOREAN BORDER ILLEGALLY YOU GET 12 YEARS HARD LABOR.
IF YOU CROSS THE IRANIAN BORDER ILLEGALLY YOU ARE DETAINED INDEFINITELY.
IF YOU CROSS THE AFGHAN BORDER ILLEGALLY, YOU GET SHOT.
IF YOU CROSS THE SAUDI ARABIAN BORDER ILLEGALLY YOU WILL BE JAILED.
IF YOU CROSS THE CHINESE BORDER ILLEGALLY YOU MAY NEVER BE HEARD FROM AGAIN.
IF YOU CROSS THE VENEZUELAN BORDER ILLEGALLY YOU WILL BE BRANDED A SPY AND YOUR FATE WILL BE SEALED.
IF YOU CROSS THE CUBAN BORDER ILLEGALLY YOU WILL BE THROWN INTO POLITICAL PRISON TO ROT.


IF YOU CROSS THE U.S. BORDER ILLEGALLY YOU GET
1 - A JOB,
2 - A DRIVERS LICENSE,
3 - SOCIAL SECURITY CARD,
4 - WELFARE,
5 - FOOD STAMPS,
6 - CREDIT CARDS,
7 - SUBSIDIZED RENT OR A LOAN TO BUY A HOUSE,
8 - FREE EDUCATION,
9 - FREE HEALTH CARE,
10 - A LOBBYIST IN WASHINGTON
11 - BILLIONS OF DOLLARS WORTH OF PUBLIC DOCUMENTS PRINTED IN YOUR LANGUAGE
12 - THE RIGHT TO CARRY YOUR COUNTRYS FLAG WHILE YOU PROTEST THAT YOU DONT GET ENOUGH RESPECT
13 - AND YOU CAN VOTE DEMOCRAT.

I JUST WANTED TO MAKE SURE I HAD A FIRM GRASP ON THE SITUATION…

[witchhunt]

That was very good. Too bad you ruined it with #13.

[songsmith]

Here's one from the 70's:
What has 6 legs and eats p***y?
You, me, and Billie Jean King.
------->JMS

[44guitar]

One of the stupidest jokes I ever heard, but I still love it. (especially when I'm drunk).

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree?























Because he was dead.

[witchhunt]

Here's one from the 70's:
What has 6 legs and eats p***y?
You, me, and Billie Jean King.
------->JMS

What's so funny about eating putty?

[moxham123]

A young man moved out from home and into a new apartment, all of his own, he went proudly down to the lobby to put his name on his mailbox. While there, an stunning young lady came out of the apartment next to the mailboxes, wearing only a robe.

The boy smiled at the young woman and she started up a conversation with Him. As they talked, her robe slipped open, and it was obvious that she had nothing else on. The poor kid broke into a sweat trying to maintain eye contact. After a few minutes, she placed her hand on his arm and said, 'Let's go to my apartment, I hear someone coming.'

He followed her into her apartment; she closed the door and leaned against it, allowing her robe to fall off completely.

Now nude, she purred at him, 'What would you say is my best feature?'

Flustered and embarrassed, he finally squeaked, It's got to be your ears.

Astounded, and a little hurt she asked, 'My ears?!?!?'' Look at these breasts; they are a full 38 inches and 100% natural.
I work out every day and my ass is firm and solid. I have a 28 inch waist. Look at my skin - not a blemish anywhere.
How can you think that the best part of my body is my ears?'

Clearing his throat, he stammered 'Outside, when you said you heard someone coming....... that was me......'

[joltinjeff]

Not sure how many have heard this ....

A man walked into a bar with a frog on his shoulder. Bartender tells him he cant be in here with the frog.
"This is a special frog. This frog eats P**y."
"Bullshit, I will give you a beer and then you gotta leave."
The guy drinks the beer and goes to leave. A beautiful blonde is sitting at a table near the door.
"I heard what you said about your frog. I would like to see that."
So they go back to her place, she takes off all her clothes and lays down on the bed. Guy sets the frog between her legs
"Eat Freddy," the man says
Frog just sits there.
"Dammit, Freddy I said EAT!"
Frog croaks and does nothing
Guy gets really pissed and said "Goddammit Freddy, I said EAT!"
Nothing.
Guy reaches down between the girls, picks up the frog and says, "Okay I'm goin to show you one more time!"

[RFBuck]

Another INCREDIBLY dumb joke that always gets laughs:

Ever notice how when geese fly south for the winter they fly in a V shape?

Ever notice how one side is usually longer than the other?

Do you know why that is?

Simple...there's more geese on that side.