Sitting in w/ your buddies during a show

jeremy_kosmac · Post by **jeremy_kosmac** » Thursday Sep 10, 2009

Please exercise some basic etiquette, if you're going to show up as someone else's gig and expect to sit in.

1- keep it brief: you're a guest, don't assume that you're going to play a whole set, allow the member for whom you're subbing determine the length of your playtime. If that person doesn't care, then allow the band leader to tell you when it's time to step down.

2- stick with the format: don't try to "change it up" by working in songs that don't fit, even if you "used to do them" w/ that band.

3- respect the other band members: your playing (dynamics, overall volume, tempos, and tuning) affect thier sound and overall gig experience.

4- (IMPORTANT) respect whoever's equipment you are using: Don't assume that it's alright to; move toms/cymbals/snare w/o asking, change tuning/volume/effects. If you must make adjustments, ask the owner of the equipment to make them for you. If you're really a friend of the band, you've observed the person you will be sitting in for, and subsequently can try to emulate thier style, or at least establish parameters. If the drummer is a light hitter, you should play lightly. If the guy pounds, you know you're ok to hit, so long as you don't exceed the force exerted by the normal drummer. It's always proper to approach "sitting in" as a guest w/ some sense of humility, and not as though you're going to "show them how it's done".

When you're finished playing, thank the band members (especially the guy who's equipment you just pounded on). Leave on a high note, w/ an amicable parting and you're sure to get asked to sit in again. Leave a "bad taste" and it you're not likely to get the chance to do it again.

I sit in w/ numerous bands when I go to thier shows. It's always an enjoyable experience. I ask, if i need something adjusted. I normally try to stay and help carry out gear at the end of the night also (or at least offer). Be a humble and polite guest, you're sure to get invited back!

REMEMBER: you wouldn't borrow someone's car and beat it up, it should be no different for a; guitar, bass, keyboard, or drums.

thanks

songsmith · Post by **songsmith** » Thursday Sep 10, 2009

I generally wait for the band to ask me to sit in, I NEVER assume I can just jump up, even when the band leaves me an open ticket, as with The Hurricanes.
I do not climb onstage with the idea that I'm going to stand out and gain some new fans. I sit in because I want to make music with the band, it's fun. For one, it's not my gig, and in addition, I've showed-off and gotten my ass handed to me in a paper sack by a harmonica-player who REALLY plays harmonica. School shouldn't be in front of a packed house.

--->JMS

jeremy_kosmac · Post by **jeremy_kosmac** » Thursday Sep 10, 2009

School shouldn't be in front of a packed house

well said, I'll be sure to use this one again!!

mjb · Post by **mjb** » Thursday Sep 10, 2009

thats a great post! i believe theres etiquette for all types of situations, even just sitting around with buddies. i've had friends that when your just sitting around pickin drinking a couple beers have to play every lick they know, loud and not giveing a shit if people are trying to bullshit. makes me just want to pack my shit up and go home. i mean, c'mon! get a clue.
know how to act! very irratating.

sittin in, i agree with all you said.

moxham123 · Post by **moxham123** » Thursday Sep 10, 2009

Very well stated post.

dayzichick · Post by **dayzichick** » Thursday Sep 10, 2009

I think it can go the other way too . . . .when I'm out and I have a night off, I don't always want to sit in with someone. It's my night off. I really do not like being put on the spot like that when people ask you through a mic to the audience. While I appreciate the compliment and am not trying to be a bitch, my night off is my night off. I just think you should ask someone during break, not publicly in between songs. Does anyone else feel that way?

Tegamal · Post by **Tegamal** » Thursday Sep 10, 2009

At this point, I'd be proud to tune someone's guitar onstage.

Banned · Post by **Banned** » Thursday Sep 10, 2009

I'm not against sit-in's, but I prefer not to. Not that I don't appreciate being asked, but I would never go up to ANY band and ask to sing a song....their show their glory....ROCK ON BROTHERS(and SISTERS)!!!

~Peace, I'm Out...

4_the_pocket · Post by **4_the_pocket** » Thursday Sep 10, 2009

Good post.

I use these rules of thumb about sitting in:

- If the band doesnt know you, dont ask.
- If the band does know you, wait to be asked.

A band has their reasons if they dont ask or allow you to sit it. Its their gig. Dont be an ass and keep asking if the first answer was no.

Oh, and dont play with amateurs and you wont have a problem

bassist_25 · Post by **bassist_25** » Thursday Sep 10, 2009

songsmith wrote:I generally wait for the band to ask me to sit in, I NEVER assume I can just jump up, even when the band leaves me an open ticket, as with The Hurricanes.
I do not climb onstage with the idea that I'm going to stand out and gain some new fans. I sit in because I want to make music with the band, it's fun.

This...

and...

4_the_pocket wrote:Good post.

I use these rules of thumb about sitting in:

- If the band doesnt know you, dont ask.
- If the band does know you, wait to be asked.

A band has their reasons if they dont ask or allow you to sit it. Its their gig. Dont be an ass and keep asking if the first answer was no.

Oh, and dont play with amateurs and you wont have a problem

This.

I'm more with dayzichick, though. When I was younger, especially too young to play in bars, if someone asked me to sit-in at an event, I'd be all over it. Now, I've gigged enough and don't feel like I have something to prove anymore. Plus, I have a lot of chemistry with the cats I currrently play with, and often, I just don't feel that magic up on stage when I'm sitting in. Of course, there were times I loved it, such as sitting in with The Nightcrawlers.

We had three of our friends sit in this past weekend at The Pony Lounge, and it was awesome.

dayzichick · Post by **dayzichick** » Thursday Sep 10, 2009

4_the_pocket wrote:Good post.

I use these rules of thumb about sitting in:

- If the band doesnt know you, dont ask.
- If the band does know you, wait to be asked.

A band has their reasons if they dont ask or allow you to sit it. Its their gig. Dont be an ass and keep asking if the first answer was no.

Yeah, that reminds me of some guy who wanted to sing with us New Year's Eve. I don't know who he was but we said ok and then honestly forgot about it. He got mad at the end of the night and was swearing at our bass player. It was very strange.

floodcitybrass · Post by **floodcitybrass** » Thursday Sep 10, 2009

Hey - what if the drummer tricks you and asks you to sit in. You go up to play only to find out that you will be playing the polka and waltz set.

RobTheDrummer · Post by **RobTheDrummer** » Thursday Sep 10, 2009

I'd like to point out something here....Be careful if you go to Shaw's on Sundays. The Hurricanes may force you to sit it. They also may force you to do a song you've never played. And they may force you to do a solo. Just a warning for any musicians thinking about going there to see the Hurricanes on a Sunday night....

felix'apprentice · Post by **felix'apprentice** » Thursday Sep 10, 2009

RobTheDrummer wrote:I'd like to point out something here....Be careful if you go to Shaw's on Sundays. The Hurricanes may force you to sit it. They also may force you to do a song you've never played. And they may force you to do a solo. Just a warning for any musicians thinking about going there to see the Hurricanes on a Sunday night....

haha i love this...

but anyways, im new to playing and anytime someone asks me, i won't turn it down. unless is something that is welllll beyond my skill level.

and the only time i'd jump up on stage with someone in mid song would be if i knew them really well and it was like a jam type of situation. i've been jammin on the trackside for almost a year now and am just finally started jumping in when i feel froggy.

and i hate playing someone else instrument - im always scared im gonna hurt it. i can beat the hell outta mine, i mean its mine, but someone elses is a different story. there'd be a WWE smackdown on stage if someone started beatin on my strat.

and that my friends .... is my two cents.

- kayla.

lonewolf · Post by **lonewolf** » Thursday Sep 10, 2009

RobTheDrummer wrote:I'd like to point out something here....Be careful if you go to Shaw's on Sundays. The Hurricanes may force you to sit it. They also may force you to do a song you've never played. And they may force you to do a solo. Just a warning for any musicians thinking about going there to see the Hurricanes on a Sunday night....

Whaddya mean "MAY?"

Naga · Post by **Naga** » Friday Sep 11, 2009

I'll admit to have had my voice heard over the microphone a fair bunch of times up Aldo's, and once impromptu over at 30 Something's. However, I've never played someone else's instrument on stage (although never my own either, for that matter). These days, I'm glad to get to a show. When I get up there myself, I want it to be on my own terms with people I'm comfortable with. And anyway, I'm pretty unfamiliar with a lot of the stuff a lot of the bands do anyway. If they want me there, they'll ask or tell me to join. Heh

generationgap · Post by **generationgap** » Friday Sep 11, 2009

One thing most important missed......

If you had to much to drink you shouldnt even think about it.
Respect yourself and the band.

Also if your head is not in the game keep yourself a spectator, its to easy to vent your flusratation on someone elses stuff....

+1 Respecting peoples equipment

Hawk · Post by **Hawk** » Friday Sep 11, 2009

RobTheDrummer wrote:I'd like to point out something here....Be careful if you go to Shaw's on Sundays. The Hurricanes may force you to sit it. They also may force you to do a song you've never played. And they may force you to do a solo. Just a warning for any musicians thinking about going there to see the Hurricanes on a Sunday night....

I love it when Felix asks if you know a particular song and you answer, "No". Then he counts it off 1...2...3...

Kudos to the thread starter. Good topic.

songsmith · Post by **songsmith** » Friday Sep 11, 2009

generationgap wrote:+1 Respecting peoples equipment

I forgot that part. I once played Don Osborne's Les Paul at one of Tim Kelly's legendary frontyard jams, and it simply quit working. I wasn't abusing it or anything, in fact, I had just slid the strap over my head and hit a chord, and it went silent. He was miffed, I was redfaced, and I sheepishly took it off and sat down. He was cool, though, and didn't make me pay for it. Still, I felt horrible.--->JMS

DrumAndDestroy · Post by **DrumAndDestroy** » Saturday Sep 12, 2009

i played rob's kit a few times...he actually encouraged me to beat the crap out of them. i respectfully didn't hold back.

Ronnyd · Post by **Ronnyd** » Saturday Sep 12, 2009

Just talking about this last night.
My two cents!
If some-one sits in that is good ,it makes your group look better.
If some-one is bad, it makes you look better
.
This is a no lose situation for us.
I sit in if I am asked and the group knows their stuff.I'll decline if I heard them butcher the song they want me to sit in on.
I'll let you sit in if you are sober,talented,humble,and will increase the audience's enjoyment.
Having said all of this ,Half Tempted loves having guests.
Felix Made a friends night last night by Joining us and playing some rock and Metal some we knew and some we learned last night.
And that makes for a great time and show all around.
When some Magic happens ,and we all are along for the ride!
Thanks Steve ,Joe,Clint,Felix, I love you guys!

RFBuck · Post by **RFBuck** » Sunday Sep 13, 2009

The guys in Bad Daze are great about this. Ken almost always asks me to sit in, and I give a half hearted attempt at wussing out. But I love jamming with these guys. I never ask to sit in...it just doesn't seem cool.
In fact, they had the drummer from Raisin Cain (sp?) sit in while I was sitting in at Del's Roadhouse, and it made for a real cool jam. Nothing greater than jamming with new people.

Yes Rob, pretty damn decent for a pick up band.

ROCKPAGE

Sitting in w/ your buddies during a show

Sitting in w/ your buddies during a show

m

Re: m

Sitting in.