what is you best road story?

[Jo money pig]

Friday we were at Kelly's in Dubois and all of sudden a lady begin to strip in frount of us. And the next thing you know you see the bar owner chasing her across the stage while were doing so hott. It looked funny as hell. So my question is. What is your best road story? Or at least one your willing to share.

[VENTGtr]

Another reason to love that place! Hope she's there on the 22nd.

Ya know, you see so much stuff...but among the oddest, about 4 years
ago we were playing some tune and right in front of us, this woman broke
out and started playing spoons.

People made this space around her and she was just wailing away (As much
as you can on spoons, anyway). Our singer then just looked at me with this
great, sort of stunned, humoured look. Where the song would've ended we
just comped a while and let her go. Awesome.

[REDillon]

TIme 1 remembered:
Well, years ago, after a great gig at a bar in Wellsboro PA, a guy came up to me and asked me to sign his balls. Okay, no problem, he whips out his testicles WITHOUT showing his penis. Very impressive. Then he hands me a FINE TIPPED SHARPIE. If you don't know, writing on wrinkled scrotal skin with a fine tipped Sharpie doesn't work very well. Maybe some of you DO know....

Sooo, I had to touch his sack skin with my fingers to try to make the writing space taut so I could scrawl my name on it. We were infamous for that ball signage for years.

Time 2 remembered:
Pelly's, or was it 4 D's? Hummmm....chick peed herself on the dance floor and laid on the dance floor and made dirt angels, while 2 strange dudes dressed in polyester suits, (one was in poop brown the other in powder blue) egged her on. Very strange guys. the one was holding a trench coat like a matador and was trying to get the chick to charge it like a bull.

[PanzerFaust]

Wow, I could have done without the ball signing story right before lunch...

I'm gonna save my best stories for my book... Of course the stories are so unbelievable it'll get labeled Fiction...

[dayzichick]

I guess this isn't that outrageous but just this weekend at the end of Twisted Sister's "We're not gonna take it" I said the line "drop down and give me twenty." And some guy cleared the dance floor, made space for himself and counted out his 20 push ups. It was sort of funny.

Peeing pants happens a lot at gigs . . . .one chick continuously peed all night at BeaverFest one year . . .guess she was too lazy to go the bathroom. Or she was afraid for the beave and didn't want to chance it.

[Merge]

TIme 1 remembered:
Well, years ago, after a great gig at a bar in Wellsboro PA, a guy came up to me and asked me to sign his balls. Okay, no problem, he whips out his testicles WITHOUT showing his penis. Very impressive. Then he hands me a FINE TIPPED SHARPIE. If you don't know, writing on wrinkled scrotal skin with a fine tipped Sharpie doesn't work very well. Maybe some of you DO know....

Sooo, I had to touch his sack skin with my fingers to try to make the writing space taut so I could scrawl my name on it. We were infamous for that ball signage for years.

Time 2 remembered:
Pelly's, or was it 4 D's? Hummmm....chick peed herself on the dance floor and laid on the dance floor and made dirt angels, while 2 strange dudes dressed in polyester suits, (one was in poop brown the other in powder blue) egged her on. Very strange guys. the one was holding a trench coat like a matador and was trying to get the chick to charge it like a bull.

You're a brave, brave person!!! I tip my cap to you!!!!

[Jim Price]

REDillon wrote:

Time 2 remembered:
Pelly's, or was it 4 D's? Hummmm....chick peed herself on the dance floor and laid on the dance floor and made dirt angels, while 2 strange dudes dressed in polyester suits, (one was in poop brown the other in powder blue) egged her on. Very strange guys. the one was holding a trench coat like a matador and was trying to get the chick to charge it like a bull.

Yes, Ruschelle, that was Pelly's. I witnessed the whole thing. That night has to qualify as the hardest I have ever laughed at a show!

The clincher was after the woman did her druggie dance and pissed herself, and the gray-haired dudes in the polyesters began dancing with her and egging her on, all the other crazies at Pelly's that night started doing their own epileptic seizure dances to mimic the aforementioned characters. It turned into a total freak show, with you and the rest of Petey Gets Around struggling to keep straight faces and keep the show going. It was one of the all-time classic freakshows I've ever witnessed, and it still comes up in conversation at Pelly's to this day!

I'm sure I could write a book about the crazy stuff I've witnessed while checking out bands over the years; here's a few right off the top of my head. Most involve bar brawls.

One of the very first gigs I ever saw was Black Angel playing at the Loop Tavern (now Chip n Dale's?) outside Hollidaysburg circa 1985. The first set was incident free. During the group's second set, a small shoving match broke out in the back of the room near the end of the set. Then about 2 or 3 songs into the third set, the Royal Rumble broke out, with a major scrum, bottles and chairs going airborne, and me and my accomplice that night, Jay Randyll, making a hasty exit out the door. We later heard that somebody got hit with a crowbar in that melee. If that night didn't scare me off from checking out live bands, nothing will!

Facingwest and redawg (the Solinski brothers) will recall the infamous "Night of 1,000 Fights" at Abie's in Spangler in (I believe) 1991. John had invited me to come see his and Redawg's band at the time, Night Wing. The first set was quiet and incident free, not too many people had shown up yet. People started filtering in during the second set. When the second set ended, I noticed next to my table that a guy had passed out unconscious on the floor. Some folks tried to revive him, to no avail. Paramedics from nearby Miner's Hospital were called in to assist. As they were loading the guy onto a stretcher, two rough-looking chicks started catfighting over the guy, and had to be separated. One of the women was skinny, the other big and heavy. Then during the third set, a song or two in, the two women started scrapping again, with the skinny woman shoving the big woman back into the speaker stacks, sending them toppling over on Redawg's drum kit! At this point, the whole place erupted into mass fighting and chaos; I recall a pissed off Redawg ready to throw down with somebody for damaging his kit! I had to sidestep about 3 or 4 erupting fights making my way out the door, and then I tore off out of Spangler doing about 80!

Since I just saw two shows at the new Roadhouse on 747 (formerly the Hill Valley Hotel) near Mount Union, I was thinking about a night when Tommi-Gunn was playing there in 1987. It was the weekend before buck season opened, and I recall my nervousness watching guys walking around inside the place with hunting rifles slung over their shoulders! (I'm sure songsmith can chime in with a book's worth of crazy Hill Valley gig memories.)

Those are just a few quickies; I'm sure I'll remember more later.

[PanzerFaust]

Aww Jim That Hill Valley story was going in my book!! hehe...

I remember that same night the electrical box throwing out flames and doing messed up stuff al night.. It's a wonder that place never burnt down with the wiring situation down there...

[DirtySanchez]

One time at a private party this hippie dude got naked and tried to get in the mosh pit. Everyone kept running away from him so his wiener wouldn't touch them.

Some chick walked up to Scott and asked if he believed in love at first site. He said no, then she asked if he'd like a blow-job out in the parking lot.

Played at Peter C's and a fight broke out, I noticed there was no guitar in the song, and looked out into the melee and there was my guitarist whippin some ass. lol

I'll post more later. I have a shitload.

[floodcitybrass]

I was playing my other band called Swing City which is a swing band. And of course we attract the older clients.

We played Shanty Town a little too fast and a guy had a heart attack and died while dancing.

[DirtySanchez]

I was playing my other band called Swing City which is a swing band. And of course we attract the older clients.

We played Shanty Town a little too fast and a guy had a heart attack and died while dancing.

/Thread

[Scott Walk]

I remember a gig at Daveys in Hastings when the band I was in at the time ( Dim ) was playing, doing our thing, when a fight breaks out with two women and then escalates into the biggest bar fight that I ever seen. Chairs and bodies flying. Well when everything got calmed down a fan came up and was talking to us and we noticed a huge footprint on his back looked to be about a size 15. Very funny.

[RamRod 1]

We were playing a place called "Eddie Mann's in Lowell Mass. in 1974 and as the 1st set ended, the guitar player saw smoke comming out of the stage door and yelled "FIRE!" Everybody starts leaving so we haul all our stuff out in the front street including a Hamond organ and Leslie. Before we're even done there are axes chopping through the back of the stage. The firemen get the fire out and the owner wants us to come back and finish out the night so we did.

It turned out that some guy at the bar had an argument with the bartender anf set the place on fire. It was his 4th fire that night.

[shredder138]

We were playing a place called "Eddie Mann's in Lowell Mass. in 1974 and as the 1st set ended, the guitar player saw smoke comming out of the stage door and yelled "FIRE!" Everybody starts leaving so we haul all our stuff out in the front street including a Hamond organ and Leslie. Before we're even done there are axes chopping through the back of the stage. The firemen get the fire out and the owner wants us to come back and finish out the night so we did.

It turned out that some guy at the bar had an argument with the bartender anf set the place on fire. It was his 4th fire that night.

Holy Fuck, I thought I was old. j/k

[shredder138]

.

she asked if he'd like a blow-job out in the parking lot.

And?

[bassist_25]

There's this one cat who comes out to our gigs who we call "The Hoff." A few weeks ago, he kind of motioned with his head to Jim about going outside. Jim, thinking he wanted to talk to him, asked where they were going. The guy replied, "Smoke weed or have sex." Jim gave an emphatic "Neither!" and bolted away.

[DirtySanchez]

.

she asked if he'd like a blow-job out in the parking lot.

And?

He got all flustered and said, "My girlfriend probably wouldn't like that".

He didn't have a girlfriend at the time.

[onegunguitar]

.

she asked if he'd like a blow-job out in the parking lot.

And?

He got all flustered and said, "My girlfriend probably wouldn't like that".

He didn't have a girlfriend at the time.

That's because she was nasty.

[DirtySanchez]

And?

He got all flustered and said, "My girlfriend probably wouldn't like that".

He didn't have a girlfriend at the time.

That's because she was nasty.

Guess I let that minor detail out. haha

[Charltor]

He got all flustered and said, "My girlfriend probably wouldn't like that".

He didn't have a girlfriend at the time.

That's because she was nasty.

Guess I let that minor detail out. haha

yeah here was her pic..................

[Tegamal]

Thanks for the mental image, going to go clean out my brain with a .50 caliber aspirin now.

[slackin@dabass]

yeah here was her pic..................

........................ wow.

[KeithReynolds]

. . .one chick continuously peed all night at BeaverFest one year . . .

Am I the only one that thinks the way that is worded sounds hilarious??? Beaverfest sounds more like a porn convention.

Here's one:
One time after a Blackout show, some chick asked the band to sign her boobs. Even wanted the soundguy and lightguy to. I am the soundguy for them, so that meant ME too. Anyway, when the marker got to me, I proudly signed "BILL COSBY" across her boobs. It was a permanent marker btw. I always thought the whole boob signing thing was pretty stupid, so i decided to have fun with it.

[songsmith]

Brian From The Clan Plush has my all-time favorite State College story, involving gunplay, heavy snow, and frat-boys, but here's my personal S.C. best:

Thin Ice played at the Scorpion as an opener for Defiance, who was a pretty big draw then. As I sang, I watched a pretty hot chick who sucked her thumb the entire time, and for some reason, this appealed to me. When we finished I went to talk to her and she suggested I sign her boobs and those of her "very good friend, " which I dutifully did, thinking 'threesome.' WRONG!
She then suggested we go to her apartment a few blocks away, and that I drive, but I told her I had snagged a primo parking spot, and would rather walk the few blocks in order to save it, so we walked. It was at this point the friend paired off with some other schmuck and left, but hey, a bird in the hand is worth two in the bush, so off we went. As we walked, her speech began to slur a LOT, and she staggered more, until she tripped over nothing and fell to the sidewalk. "Ow, my arm!" I suggested she walk it off, as I was thinking more about getting some fershnickety than treating an injury, and we continued to her apartment. When we got there, her room-mate was totally riding her boyfriend like a naked seesaw on the couch, and suddenly, I'm liking my odds, but they saw us and quickly bolted for the bedroom, leaving the couch to us. Ms. Thumbsucker Coed lay down on the sofa fully clothed and patted her tummy, signalling me to climb aboard. Fully clothed. I'm like, "Wha?" but I'm a go-with-the-flow kinda dude, so I oblige. After about 30 seconds of kissyface and dry-humping, she PASSES OUT dead away!
Now fella's, the last thing you ever want to do is continue with a college girl after she's lost her consciousness, lest you get your name in the papers, so I was off of her in record time. I switched on the light, and the arm she hurt in the fall was now swollen to 2x it's normal size! Broken! I left in a tight-ass run, and thought my adventure was over.
Nope.
I walked the cold, lonely, sexually-frustrated walk back to my car, only to find it GONE!! I called the cops, thinking it was stolen, and they informed me it had been towed because I parked in a single private spot on the edge of public parking. Not only that, it would cost me $50, and it was too late to pick it up, so I had to wait until morning. Sh*t!
I went back to the Scorpion and nearly missed Jeff Rittenhouse, Defiance's soundman. When I asked if I could crash at his place until morning, and he said what you'd say: "Hell No." He did, however, stop the first girl he saw walking on the sidewalk, asking if I could stay with her. The random stranger looked me over and, much to my suprise, said,"... um, okay." Score! I was going to get laid anyway!
I jumped in her car, and made chit-chat until we got to her place. I walked with her into her house and was headed towards her bedroom when she said, " Whoa Romeo. The couch is there. Goodnight." Sh*t again!
By this time it was 4am, so I decided to cut my losses and go to sleep. Barely 5 minutes later, I was awakened by something rodent-like crawling under the covers with me. At this point, I screamed like a little girl. I didn't even know I could make that sound, and it surprised and embarrassed me. The woman came rushing out into the living room, asking what was going on. I said there was a rat in bed with me, and she pointed to an empty cage where her ferret should have been. I have to admit, I was starting to lose my patience at this point; I told her to put the godd*mn thing in the cage or I would dispatch it with my bare hands. She started to make an argument, but put it away. I drifted off to sleep for all of 3 hours.
When we awoke, she offered me a ride to Nittany Mall, where, if I waited for Mark Morningstar to finish his Sunday shift at Wall-To-Wall Sound & Video, he would take me to my car. All I had to do was nothing, until 5pm. Wait, wait, wait. I found a few free magazines and hung out, reading that a member of the 60's TV show The Monkees, Davy Jones, was at the mall that day for a book-signing, and noticed a pretty-good sized crowd gathering, mostly middle-aged women, some rather MILF-y, but Yours Truly was still wearing last night's stage clothes, and reeked of cigarette smoke, sweat, and ferret-stench (they stink, man). At some point I walked into the men's room and groggily stood at the urinal draining the noodle. A guy walks in and does the same, and I realized, it's Davy Jones. I always got the idea he was gay, and hoped he wouldn't want me to, you know, Cheer Up Sleepy Gene, but it thankfully went gay-advance-free. We didn't speak, as that would have made both of us more uncomfortable, and guy's don't really do that anyway (that's a chick-thing).
I went to an unused bench in the mall concourse, and proceeded to fall fast asleep, waking later to find that I was slobbering all over myself, and people were looking at me and making that "tsk-tsk-tsk" sound. I absolutely could not wait to get the f*ck out of that mall and get my car. Finally, 5pm comes, and Marky takes me to my car. I give the towtruck guy/organized-crime-boss my last $50, and he gives me my keys. On the way out the door, he calls me back and hands me a $35 parking ticket as well, payable in the next month. If I had a firearm, I most certainly would be writing this from Death Row.
That was the longest day of my life, and the last time I was ever in the Scorpion, as it was sold shortly after.
The morals to this sordid story? Always park legally in State College. A grown-ass chick who sucks her thumb is not sexy, it's weird. Ritt is kind of a dick sometimes. And finally, if Davy Jones is gay, he's not gay for me.

I have about a million stories about Hill Valley Hotel, as do most musicians who've played there. Some are uproariously funny, one is very sad, and most include cheap sex and/or uncalled-for violence.
Don't get me started... --->JMS

[Plastered Bastards]

The best road stories are the ones your girlfriend or wife doesn't know about.