Farting at Band Practice

DirtySanchez · Post by **DirtySanchez** » Monday Jun 01, 2009

and not owning up to it.

Grounds for termination?

or

Best policy?

Discuss.

felix'apprentice · Post by **felix'apprentice** » Monday Jun 01, 2009

hahaha grounds for termination for sure.

KeithReynolds · Post by **KeithReynolds** » Monday Jun 01, 2009

This could be the penalty.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vkBicQBBe_g

DrumAndDestroy · Post by **DrumAndDestroy** » Monday Jun 01, 2009

dude is this cuz i accidentally farted on sue a few weeks ago?

i didn't even know she was behind me.

i fart all the time at band practice.

KeithReynolds · Post by **KeithReynolds** » Monday Jun 01, 2009

HAHA!

joltinjeff · Post by **joltinjeff** » Monday Jun 01, 2009

Farting at band practice is one thing, however farting on bandmates is not cool, unless you practice in a very small room where it is inevitable. As long as it is not wet and smelly and not leaving a stain in your pants. Farting is a part of life, as long as you dont make anyone puke, gag or anything else digusting. I say LET IT FLY!

Banned · Post by **Banned** » Monday Jun 01, 2009

Simply state, "Dudes, I have the bubble-guts and may bust ass...a lot."
If your band mates make you leave, do so. I hardly think it's grounds for termination. Unless you and the guitar players hold the drummer down and just blast ass in his face...

IN-BASS · Post by **IN-BASS** » Monday Jun 01, 2009

I enjoy blowing ass while on stage, and then just step back an wait..

Most of the time my drummers fan will generally catch the oder and basically thrust it directly into his face. I've seen him play an entire song with his face tucked into his shirt.

Baceman Spiff · Post by **Baceman Spiff** » Monday Jun 01, 2009

Honestly is usually the best policy in any situation. Farting (at practice or otherwise) is no exception. Better out than in, I always say. As long as you do own up to it. This doesn't require a long explanation, a simple "My bad" or "Whew! That was a good one." will suffice. Too many liars in the world, let alone the flatulent ones.

HurricaneBob · Post by **HurricaneBob** » Monday Jun 01, 2009

In an orchestral situation finding the culprit would be tough.
In a 3 piece band its either Jeff or Felix so i can narrow it down quickly.
Anyone ever heard of the "Shaker"? Its a premium fart with a little legwork.

Plastered Bastards · Post by **Plastered Bastards** » Monday Jun 01, 2009

Happens all the time at our practice,pretty much every time.

Banned · Post by **Banned** » Monday Jun 01, 2009

Hurricane wrote:In an orchestral situation finding the culprit would be tough.
In a 3 piece band its either Jeff or Felix so i can narrow it down quickly.
Anyone ever heard of the "Shaker"? Its a premium fart with a little legwork.

...or the "Jefferson?"

See someone walking like George Jefferson, pretty much gives them away....

metal_junky · Post by **metal_junky** » Monday Jun 01, 2009

You guys sure do talk alot of shit!

RFBuck · Post by **RFBuck** » Monday Jun 01, 2009

If Aaron gets on here, he'll attest to the fact that I'm the king of busting ass at practice, and at gigs. We played at the Grove once in Belsano and poor Bud was stuck in an alcove with his drums while he had to inhale my effulgence (and flatulence!). It's a great morale booster and breaks any nervousness.
I ALWAYS claim mine, and I'm damn proud of it!!

Baceman Spiff · Post by **Baceman Spiff** » Monday Jun 01, 2009

You know I'm seeing a potential hazard here. If your band incorporates any pyrotechnics into its stage show, one innocent moment of relief could go very bad, very quick.

ToonaRockGuy · Post by **ToonaRockGuy** » Monday Jun 01, 2009

Hurricane wrote:In an orchestral situation finding the culprit would be tough.
In a 3 piece band its either Jeff or Felix so i can narrow it down quickly.
Anyone ever heard of the "Shaker"? Its a premium fart with a little legwork.

ROTFL@Bobby! I discovered the "Shaker" thanks to Clete and them damn Canolinni Bean and Tuna sammiches he and Felix had to friggin' eat in that van on the tour! Them chairs in the waiting rooms at the SCIs put off some good acoustics for firin' them off, too!

Felix And The Hurricanes...gassiest....band....EVER.

TJ Kelly · Post by **TJ Kelly** » Monday Jun 01, 2009

Best one I can think of is with Backdraft. We were playing at Blairmont and they had us set-up on the patio outside to play during and after dinner. Well it wasn't too crowded and I felt the rumbling in my nether regions so I decided to let it rip. I don't know what I had been eating but this was one of the most disgusting ones I had ever expelled. Plus it was very humid and the air just seemed to hang there. I couldn't stand it myself, made my eyes water. Anyhow we're in the middle of a song when about 30 seconds later a little breeze carried my "present" over to the Brian who was in the middle of singing a line and got this sudden look on his face that was a cross between terror, disgust, and disbelief all at once. He had no idea where it came from. I could barely finish the song due to laughing so hard. Sitting next to the Brian was this lovely old well to do lady and when we took a break he comes over to Phil and me dead serious and says did you guys smell that old lady sitting by me? I just about choked on my beer and had to fess up!

Banned · Post by **Banned** » Monday Jun 01, 2009

TJ Kelly wrote:Best one I can think of is with Backdraft. We were playing at Blairmont and they had us set-up on the patio outside to play during and after dinner. Well it wasn't too crowded and I felt the rumbling in my nether regions so I decided to let it rip. I don't know what I had been eating but this was one of the most disgusting ones I had ever expelled. Plus it was very humid and the air just seemed to hang there. I couldn't stand it myself, made my eyes water. Anyhow we're in the middle of a song when about 30 seconds later a little breeze carried my "present" over to the Brian who was in the middle of singing a line and got this sudden look on his face that was a cross between terror, disgust, and disbelief all at once. He had no idea where it came from. I could barely finish the song due to laughing so hard. Sitting next to the Brian was this lovely old well to do lady and when we took a break he comes over to Phil and me dead serious and says did you guys smell that old lady sitting by me? I just about choked on my beer and had to fess up!

Tim, I really miss that band. Lots of good times, but boy am I glad that I missed that show

BDR · Post by **BDR** » Monday Jun 01, 2009

Much like Zimmer, I will sometimes contaminate the stage. We do have an unwritten policy of notifying the other band members that something's brewing, tho. I try to honor that policy at all times. And the crowd never blames the band so fear not, you're good there. r:>)

joltinjeff · Post by **joltinjeff** » Monday Jun 01, 2009

That fine Rob until a person in the crowd gets a whiff of it and then falls flat on their face in front of the stage. As toxic fumes flow from the stage area, the entire area near the band become a biohazard and the fire department is called in.

RFBuck · Post by **RFBuck** » Tuesday Jun 02, 2009

Um...clue me in on the code, Rob...I don't want no surprises next time. Or I may have to return the favor.

Banned · Post by **Banned** » Tuesday Jun 02, 2009

joltinjeff wrote:That fine Rob until a person in the crowd gets a whiff of it and then falls flat on their face in front of the stage. As toxic fumes flow from the stage area, the entire area near the band become a biohazard and the fire department is called in.

...and then the fumes reach the guy in the back of the crowd who is sparkin' a doobie....KA-BOOM!! Claudio can we PLEEAASE Open the Side Door Now!!!

Charltor · Post by **Charltor** » Tuesday Jun 02, 2009

pretty sad when a thread about farts started 48hrs ago has over 380 views.

Rockpage must be all a bunch of coprophiliacs.

songsmith · Post by **songsmith** » Wednesday Jun 03, 2009

TJ Kelly wrote:Best one I can think of is with Backdraft. We were playing at Blairmont and they had us set-up on the patio outside to play during and after dinner. Well it wasn't too crowded and I felt the rumbling in my nether regions so I decided to let it rip. I don't know what I had been eating but this was one of the most disgusting ones I had ever expelled. Plus it was very humid and the air just seemed to hang there. I couldn't stand it myself, made my eyes water. Anyhow we're in the middle of a song when about 30 seconds later a little breeze carried my "present" over to the Brian who was in the middle of singing a line and got this sudden look on his face that was a cross between terror, disgust, and disbelief all at once. He had no idea where it came from. I could barely finish the song due to laughing so hard. Sitting next to the Brian was this lovely old well to do lady and when we took a break he comes over to Phil and me dead serious and says did you guys smell that old lady sitting by me? I just about choked on my beer and had to fess up!

This one will live on in legends. I wasn't there for this one, but I can attest to TJKelly's methane mastery. You all have no idea.

--->JMS

Slacker Steve · Post by **Slacker Steve** » Wednesday Jun 03, 2009

I love summertime when we have 3 fans blowing up front, all pointing in Rob's general direction. He's never said anything, but my ass stinks, and I know he's caught a few bombs to the face.
It's hard to hold them in while singing, there's alot of pushing going on in that region. Things happen, when you push....

ROCKPAGE

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