How To Request A Song From The Band... etc.

CHICKSINGA · Post by **CHICKSINGA** » Friday Jan 09, 2009

How To Request A Song From The Band...

When requesting a song from the band, just say "play .. my song!" We have
chips implanted in our heads with an unlimited database of the favorite
tunes of every patron who ever walked into a bar and all songs ever recorded
so feel free to be vague, we love the challenge.

If we say we really don't remember that tune you want, we're only kidding.
Bands do know every song ever recorded, so keep humming. Hum harder if need
be... it helps jog the memory, or just repeat your request over and over
again.

If a band tells you they do not know a song you want to hear, they either
forgot they know the tune or they are just putting you on. Try singing a few
words for the band. Any words will do.

It also helps to scream your request from across the room several times per
set followed by the phrases, "AW COME ON!" and, "YOU SUCK!" Exaggerated hand
gestures expressing disapproval from the dance floor are a big help as well,
such as the thumbs down or your middle finger up Put-downs are the best way
to jog a band's memory. This instantly promotes you to the status of
"Personal Friend Of The Band." You can bet your request will be the next
song we play.

Entertainers are notorious fakers and jokesters and never really prepare for
their shows. They simply walk on stage with no prior thought to what they
will do once they arrive. We don't actually make set lists or rehearse
songs. We mostly just wait for you to yell something out, then fake it.

An entertainer's job is so easy, even a monkey could do it, so don't let
them off the hook easily. Your request is all that matters. Once you've
figured out what genre of music the band plays, please make your requests
from a totally different genre. The more exaggerated the better. If its a
blues band playing, yell for some Metallica or Slayer or Pantera. Likewise,
if its a death-speed metal band, be sure to request Brown-eyed Girl or some
Grateful Dead. Musicians need to constantly broaden their musical horizons,
and its your job to see that it happens....immediately.

''TALKING WITH THE BAND''

The best time to discuss anything with the band in any meaningful way is at
the middle of a song when all band members are singing at the same time. Our
hearing is so advanced that we can pick out your tiny voice from the
megawatt wall of sound blasting all around us. And we can converse with you
in sign language while singing the song, so don't worry that we're in the
middle of the chorus

Musicians are expert lip readers too. If a musician does not reply to your
question or comment during a tune, it's because they didn't get a good look
at your mouth in order to read your lips. Simply continue to scream your
request and be sure to over emphasize the words with your lips. This helps
immensely. Don't be fooled.

Singers have the innate ability to answer questions and sing at the same
time. If the singer doesn't answer your questions immediately, regardless of
how stupid the question may seem, it's because they are purposely ignoring
you. If this happens, immediately cop an attitude. We love this.

''IMPORTANT''

When an entertainer leans over to hear you better, grab his or her head in
both hands and yell directly into their ear, while holding their head
securely so they cannot pull away.This will be taken as an invitation to a
friendly and playful game of tug of war between their head and your
hands.Don't give up! Hang on until the singer or guitar player submits.
Drummers are often safe from this fun game since they usually sit in the
back, protected by the guitar players. Keyboard players are protected by
their instrument, and only play the game when tricked into coming from
behind their keyboards. Though difficult to get them to play, it's not
impossible, so keep trying They're especially vulnerable during the break
between songs.

''HELPING THE BAND''

If you inform the band that you are a singer, the band will appreciate your
help with the next few tunes, or however long you can remain standing on
stage. If you're too drunk to stand unassisted, simply lean on one of the
band members or the most expensive piece of equipment you see. Just pretend
you're in a Karaoke bar Simply feel free to walk up on stage and join in.
By the way, the drunker you are, the better you sound, and the louder you
should sing. If by chance you fall off the stage, be sure to crawl back up
and attempt to sing harmony. Keep in mind that nothing assists the band more
than outrageous dancing, fifth and sixth part harmonies,or a tambourine
played on one and three and out of tempo. Try the cowbell; they love the
challenge.The band always needs the help and will take this as a compliment.

Finally, the microphone and PA system are merely props, they don't really
amplify your voice, so when you grab the mic out of the singers hand be sure
to scream into it at the top of your lungs, otherwise no one will hear what
a great singer you are. Hearing is over-rated anyhow. The crowd and the
sound guy will love you for it.

''BONUS TIP''

As a last resort, wait until the band takes a break and then get on stage
and start playing their instruments. They love this. Even if you are ejected
from the club, you can rest assured in the fact you have successfully
completed your audition. The band will call you immediately the following
day to offer you a position.

sunsetbass · Post by **sunsetbass** » Friday Jan 09, 2009

amen sister

RFBuck · Post by **RFBuck** » Friday Jan 09, 2009

Well, that's great...now the truth is out.

CHICKSINGA · Post by **CHICKSINGA** » Friday Jan 09, 2009

Yeah, I know - it's kinda like the magician thing...

I just couldn't hold it in any longer !

(think James T. Kirk when you read that

todd17063 · Post by **todd17063** » Saturday Jan 10, 2009

I always like it when your in between sets and a group of women go up to you and say that one of thier friends are awesome at karaokee, and they want to sing a song with you.Then when they get the ok because damn its a good laugh. The best part is when you start the song they don't know when to start, or they forget lyrics, or my favorite thing is that they sing off key and then complain because they think well the band didn't play it right.

Lisa · Post by **Lisa** » Saturday Jan 10, 2009

Wow, and I thought that us bartenders had it fun when the customer insists that they can step behind the bar and mix their own drink because they know the exact measurements and no matter how much they pour, it should still only cost $2.00.

Hey, I only made them drunk....I didn't make them assholes.

Stone Cold Crazy · Post by **Stone Cold Crazy** » Saturday Jan 10, 2009

Does that mean it isn't cool to yell "Free Bird"???

KyleMayket · Post by **KyleMayket** » Saturday Jan 10, 2009

Stone Cold Crazy wrote:Does that mean it isn't cool to yell "Free Bird"???

...never...

metalchurch · Post by **metalchurch** » Saturday Jan 10, 2009

The prototypical metal-head request from the band:
SLAYER!!!!

Me and my friends used to heckle bands in Pittsburgh and that was our mantra...one time our friends were playing at Tommy Rick's Down Under, and we "requested" Slayer, and they broke out "South of Heaven", but that was the first and only time someone delivered.

It's kind of funny reading some of that stuff Trace, cause it's so true.
Every band is a human juke box....

witchhunt · Post by **witchhunt** » Saturday Jan 10, 2009

How many times shall this topic be covered?

CHICKSINGA · Post by **CHICKSINGA** » Saturday Jan 10, 2009

Man, you are grumpy!

I recieved the story from a friend of a friend of mine and thought it was funny. Not trying to be redundant or anything.

witchhunt · Post by **witchhunt** » Saturday Jan 10, 2009

Actually, I thought it was a well written post. Just a topic that keeps coming back.

moxham123 · Post by **moxham123** » Saturday Jan 10, 2009

I like how people think they should be able to sit in with a band even though they have no experience. Next time I go to the hospital, I think I will ask to sit in on an operation since I always wanted to be a surgeon. The doctors should not mind that at all. Whenever, somebody asks to sit in (the infamous karaoke singers especially), I ask what type of work they do and when they tell me I say I am going to show up at their job and ask to sit in. This is my job. This usually shuts them up.

songsmith · Post by **songsmith** » Saturday Jan 10, 2009

Lisa wrote: Hey, I only made them drunk....I didn't make them assholes.

Another qualifier for Post Of The Year.

--->JMS

whitedevilone · Post by **whitedevilone** » Saturday Jan 10, 2009

Wow imagine that drunk assholes in a bar??Say it ain't so.Good thing you don't run one or anything

PanzerFaust · Post by **PanzerFaust** » Saturday Jan 10, 2009

Stone Cold Crazy wrote:Does that mean it isn't cool to yell "Free Bird"???

Dick!! Beat me to the punch line.....

Why don't you find some other Forum to stink-up.......

This is for people who's last concert experience wasn't "The Wiggles" hehe....

Now back to the sarcastic one liners...... How about yelling......

"Play something we can dance to.... Like Stairway to Heaven"

PanzerFaust · Post by **PanzerFaust** » Saturday Jan 10, 2009

witchhunt wrote:How many times shall this topic be covered?

How many times are you going to ask rhetorical questions?

hehe... Just teasin ya !!

But I agree you are grumpy!!!

PanzerFaust · Post by **PanzerFaust** » Saturday Jan 10, 2009

Lisa wrote:Hey, I only made them drunk....I didn't make them assholes.

Now that would be a cool slogan for a shirt.......

Well not as good as "Vote for Pedro" but still cool.... hehe....

witchhunt · Post by **witchhunt** » Saturday Jan 10, 2009

PanzerFaust wrote:
witchhunt wrote:How many times shall this topic be covered?
How many times are you going to ask rhetorical questions?

hehe... Just teasin ya !!

But I agree you are grumpy!!!

How many times are you gonna type "he he"?
Love, Grumpy.

RFBuck · Post by **RFBuck** » Saturday Jan 10, 2009

I love girls that come up and say "I can sing really well...you oughta let me do a song!" We show them the list and if they know something, sometimes we let 'em go ahead...depends on where we are. If they wanna make fools of themselves, who are we to hold back progress? It never seems to get out of hand for us...usually one does it and that's it.

I had some accompaniment one night at Osceola, and she was was quite intoxicated. She carefully stepped over my pedalboard to reach the mic (whew!!!), but on the way back she never noticed the huge monitor right in front of her....face plant!! Wasn't our system, and the monitor survived. Don't know where she disappeared to, though.....maybe the Shame Room.

Big Jim · Post by **Big Jim** » Saturday Jan 10, 2009

Hmmmm...I don't know what to say...I tend to disagree.

I played two shows just this past week with two different bands, and at both of them we played requests that we hadn't done together before. Songs from Bob Seger, Bob Dylan, Neil Young, Ozzy, and Meatloaf. Oh...and Free Bird (we have done that one before).

In one of the acts we encourage requests (we'll try anything), and allow others to perform solo or along with us for a song or two.

I say, play what the people want to hear. Perhaps the crowd gets a bit frustrated after a while if the don't hear any song they know or like. One of my bandmates said it's not their job to make friends with the band. It's the band's job to make friends with the crowd.

Oh yeah, people were yelling in my ear while we were playing. They got to hear their song!!

moxham123 · Post by **moxham123** » Sunday Jan 11, 2009

Here is a request we hear occasionally - Hey, play something you know!

That one always gets me since we are already playing songs we know and I tell them that is an easy request and we would be happy to play something we know for them as opposed to playing songs we never heard before.

I, frequently, go over to customers when we are on a break and ask them if there is something they would like to hear and they are usually caught off guard that a band member would ask them to request a song and then they say they like everything we played so far and keep up the good work. Sometimes, I will tell them to pick a decade and we will play a song from those years and they like that. However, we do get those people who do not know what a decade is.

RFBuck · Post by **RFBuck** » Sunday Jan 11, 2009

Pleasing crowds are hard. It depends on the age group in the place. You try to go with the majority, but you know sooner or later you're gonna piss someone off. Not much you can do about it, really. They just won't show up the next time around. There are ones who continue to come back and repeatedly bitch...those are the worst. If you know what we're about and we can't do what you're looking for, I don't know what to tell you.

J Michaels · Post by **J Michaels** » Sunday Jan 11, 2009

PanzerFaust wrote: How many times are you going to ask rhetorical questions?

What if there were no rhetorical questions?

bsaller · Post by **bsaller** » Monday Jan 12, 2009

We are currently in rehearsal learning two new British Classic rock songs: Freebird and Give Me 3 Steps. I think the band was from the south of England.