Drummers Fines!

[hardhitter]

A friend sent me this and I thought I would share. Some really funny stuff.



Drummer's Fines
•
• DRUMMERS REAL NAME: _______________________________
• (other than "sticks", "backbeat", "snake", "Biff "... etc.)
•
• -Setup / Equipment Offences-
•
• Brings a 36" bass drum - $25
• Has more than one bass drum - $100.
• Brings a 10" deep snare (for a solid back beat) - $50.
• Brings more than 2 mounted toms - $25.
• Has a tubular chrome bar that holds all his mounted toms - $50.
• Brings more than one floor tom - $25.
• Uses extra floor tom for ashtray & drink holder - $75
• Brings more than two crash cymbals - $25.
• Doesn't bring a ride cymbal - $250.
• Uses Sabian B8 cymbal set - Dismissal & Public Torture
• Uses ZBT, ZXT, et al cymbal set - Public Execution
• Brings a 46" Chinese gong (for big endings) - $75.
• Brings two timpani (for really big endings) - $100.
• Brings extra splashes (Just in case) - $25 each
• Doesn't own any brushes - $300.
• Owns brushes but can't play them - $500
• Has a hi-hat that is welded shut - $250.
• Asks leader where he can plug in his headphones - $200.
• Asks Guitarist for help with unloading drums - $150
• Wears dirty white Nike sneakers on tux gig - $50.
• Tunes snare drum during the benediction - $175.
• Tunes snare drum - $10
•
• -Performance Offences-
•
• Plays eighth note rock ballad style on "Stardust" - $150.
• Pretends to read chart with big band - $25.
• Actually reads drum part for big band (note for note) -$200.
• Asks bass player "Where are we?" on "Happy Birthday" - $1000.
• Plays disco beat on "A Train" - $200.
• Plays shuffle on "Mustang Sally" - $100
• Plays "Mustang Sally" correctly - Dismissal
• Takes fours on "The Bride Cuts the Cake" - $100.
• Takes a break when the leader says "A request for Take 5" - $25.
• Actually tries to play on "Take 5" - $150.
• Asks leader what brushes are - $250.
• Plays breaks in "Cute" with sticks - $50.
• Plays blast beats during "Johnny B. Goode" - $500
•
•
• -Miscellaneous Offences-
•
• Mentions to host that "DJs are the wave of the future" - $100.
• Is first in line at the party's buffet -$50.
• Asks where the "to-go bags" are at the buffet line -$100.
• Asks the bartender for 3 "Purple Shooters" - $50.
• Says to the bride "You've got a nice set of hooters" - $25.
• Says to the brides mother "Hey this is a f#%*in' good party"- $150.
• Is ten minutes late for the next set - $25.
• Is twenty minutes late for the next set - $10.
• Never shows up for the next set - $1.
• Wears Slipknot makeup for band photo shoot - Dismissal
• Excessive Sweating - $5000
•
•
• -Drummer Crimes-
•
• Warming up on "50 Ways..." or "Rosanna." - $50
• LISTENING to Rosanna, even in private with headphones on. - $50
• Extends solo in Zep's "Rock & Roll" to 10 minutes - $1000
• Bringing a mega kit to a multiband gig. - $100
• Breaking that kit down on stage after your sh**y set. - $250
• Asks bassist to move rig so third floor tom will fit onstage - $50 (per Sq. Ft.)
• Extra logo stickers on bass drum head - $75 each.
• Stick holders - $10
• Drumming Shoes - $100
• Drumming gloves - Dismissal
• Double pedals - $500
• USING the double pedals. - Dismissal
• Wearing Zildjian T-shirt onstage. - $50
• Roto toms. - $50 each
• RIMS mounts and Moongel used simultaneously - Public Flogging
• Extra deep kicks and toms. - $50 each
• Glow in the dark drumsticks - $500
• Asks keyboard player about GED test - $150
• Hits on singer's girlfriend - $5
• Hits on club owner's wife - $1000

[bassist_25]

[SATAN]

My fine was $1,445. Damn I am already broke this is going to put me out for sure.



Randy

[ToonaRockGuy]

Damn, Randy, you're cheap. Mine added up to $7,175 plus dismissal for using a double pedal.

Extra Mortgage on the way.

[redawg]

$6,599. Swearing fine put me in the welfare line

[Skate Toad]

$495
Not bad!

[moxham123]

I would like to add a few more.

- Asks Guitarist for play drums so he can hear them through the P.A. - $150
- Using duct tape to hold stands together - $100
- Not having duct tape - $200
- Asks other band members to set up his kit - $100
- Asks to have his drums in the monitors so he can hear them - $1,000
- Owns a glockenspiel and thinks it is cool to say he can play songs on it - $200
- Twirls sticks between every drum fill - $500
- Does not bring extra sticks - $100
- Does not bring extra heads - $100
- Does not wear shoes - $200
- Asks Guitarist to count off the songs - Dismissal

[RobTheDrummer]

$585 and a Dismissal.

I really like the one about Rims mounts and Moongels! haha Do you want the damn drum to resonate or not?

[bassist_25]

Ahh man, why do they have to give out a fine for roto-toms?

I'm quietly awaiting the return of roto-toms to the forefront of music.

[Lifer]

7,410

The excessive sweating killed me!!!

How about this, as well...

Breaking a Remo Emperor-X snare batter within 300 hours of use- $4000 and dismissal.

[Killjingle]

- Asks to have his drums in the monitors so he can hear them - $1,000

Banished for all eternity!!!

[SkarmaSutraMusic]

What do you do if your drummer thinks he's too good to practice with a metronome or even practice ...period.???
Can you flog him or instill fear in other drummers via the
"Death penalty"??
Just a thought I mean after he totally butchers two (2) shows in a row...right?....Why are drummers so hard headed???
No offense intended. I am sure that there are cool drummers out there.
I met ....one.
He plays for NAILDRIVER.