How do you feel about people wanting to "sit in"?

[CCdrums]

How do you guys feel about people wanting to sit in and use your stuff? I know for me, if I don't know the person really well, I don't allow it. It's not because I want to be a jerk or anything, it's just that I have alot of money tied up in equipment, especially cymbals, and I don't want someone with bad technique coming up and just bashing the crap out of my stuff. I've had too many bad experiences. Plus, people seem to think that they can just walk up and play the drums for some reason. Why is that?

[CCdrums]

I had a girl come up on the stage at Glenn's Place the last time we played there and grabbed my sticks and said "Can I play the drums now?" NO, I said and took the sticks back. She looked at me with an evil grimmace and stared daggers at me the rest of the night. Would any of you ever do that? What in the world would possess someone to have the nads to walk up on stage, grab the sticks and prepare to start slamming away? Anyone else have this experience?

[Colton]

If its someone i know, no problem. If its someone ive never met before in my life, hell no. Unless of course its a freind of someone i trust..


I tell'm i dont care what they do, just dont touch the amp

[CCdrums]

Once aguy came up on break years ago and said his friend was an awesome drummer in a great band from that area. He asked me if he could sit in. I didn't want to do it, but this guy was persistent, so I gave in just to get him off my back. The drummer looked over the set list and picked a song. When it came time for him to play, he came up and just completely bashed on my kit and dented all my heads. He was HIDEOUS to be kind. The rest of the band was ticked and I was out $50 for new heads....never again!!

[bassist_25]

I love having friends sit in. It's almost a given that when one of our friends is in the audience that we'll have him or her come up to at least do a song...or we'll at least ask them to sit in.

It is completely unclassy, though, to ask to sit in, especially if you don't know anyone in the band. Luckily, we rarely get that, though it's happened a lot before in previous bands I've been in.

I'm not a big fan of providing backline, especially if there are bands on the bill whom I don't know. I have no problem allowing a respected pro use my rig, but some people who aren't as experienced may not know what a clipping speaker sounds like (I'm being serious).

I use to love getting asked to sit in when I was younger and thought that I had something to prove. Now I'd much rather just sit back and take in the show. The most joy I've had sitting in, though, was when the Nightcrawlers were together. Jamming with those cats was so easy and Steve's pocket was a joy to groove to.

[CHICKSINGA]

This is tricky, because you definitely want to be nice. But as you know it can get outta hand and then you have a problem. Overly sloshed crooners are my particular bain. And they always wanna share the mike and breathe on ya!
But if it's someone I know I always invite. It's kinda musician's code. So many have done it for me, in fact I know Bad Daze, The Hurricanes and Flight 19, among others have done it and have helped me get gigs that way. I will always return the favor!

Trace

[EyesOfAnguishbassist]

It's funny this thread was brought up because just a few weeks ago somebody asked to use my stuff and it was AFTER I already packed it up. I knew the dude, and I'm pretty good friends with him but it was definetly a pain in the ass. Everytime I think I've played with this band he's asked to use my stuff. This band he plays in is a pretty well known metal band and plays everywhere and they even have guitar cab endorsements but everytime we play with em he asks me to use my stuff. Which makes me wonder just one thing. How do these people practice?? I'm just starting to think people are getting too lazy to even bring their own equipment.

[Hawk]

Any drum night drummer - yes (hey, as long as you guys don't make me look bad )

Anyone I don't know - no way

[Merge]

We use in ears, so it's impossible for someone to sit in with us, on any instrument. And that's exactly how I like it

[Eldorado]

I have a real hard time letting people play my instruments unless we are very close. I don't know how it is with drums, but I have a weird little bond going on with my guitars. It's not that I think something bad will happen although it might. To me it just feels a lot like letting someone have a go with my woman.

[BloodyFingers]

No one but 2 other people touch my guitars, or anything in my home studio. Sorry but it is personal to me and I feel you guys in bands practice to hard to let someone screw up songs for you. If I'm in the crowd and your sit in sucks I'm leaving.

[Banned]

I tell'm i dont care what they do, just dont touch the amp

Word. Fiddling with knobs is so not cool.

Otherwise, I'm cool with anyone who is a known quantity and isn't visibly wasted. Getting me to sit in is another thing entirely. Damn near impossible, in fact. I'd rather just blend into the crowd.

[bassist4life2004]

I know Baddazerob loves when i slobber all over his wireless mic. What i do is i spit way deep down into the microphone, that way as he sings, it drains on him and he thinks its sweat.....I mean, i would never do anything like that!

Seriously, i like sitting in with other bands, and i like having people sit in with us. IF i know they have musical experience, or they can sing, they can sit in. But with the acoustic world, sometimes you dont have a choice on weather or not someone sits in with you. Full band, you have some control.

[Banned]

I agree with cc drums gear weather it's drum or guitar is just too expensive to have some guy or some girl wanna play rock star with your shit. i left this one guy come up and play once he swore to me he new how to play so i left him play so he would get off my back and impress his friends , boy was i the dumb ass he got up there wasn't in time with the song at all speed was totally off the chart cymbals were being smacked like he was beating someone up wow i felt like the dude was rapeing my kit . couldn't wait till he was done then the stupid bastard didn't even say thanks . i learned real quick shame on me once but never again............................ RESTLESS........ www.myspace.com/wemurder80s

[Trucula]

Good topic!

I know what you mean about "everyone thinks they can play drums"...I made the mistake a few times...being bugged till you give in and the guy thinks its his show!....then picks a song...has to outplay the whole band.. and have to finish with a solo!!.NOT COOL . I only let people I know now...
Just 2 weeks ago I went to watch FADED-X...GREAT Bunch of guys... They reconized me and introduced me to the crowd. Later on called me up to set in...I really didnt want to because I rarely "drink and drum" but this night I had a few shots of ginger brandy!...They kept calling so I went up. I played on his kit the way I'd want someone to treat my stuff. (I did break one of his sticks because he uses a very light stick..SORRY) but as soon as I felt it, I got rid of it so no head damage accured) I also thanked them over and over!....
Great time till I left and someone smashed the window out of our new ride and stole the kid's DVD player off the seat and her sister's pocketbook with cash,cell phone,H&R Block refund card, work/house/car keys....F%$#%RS!!

[xero380]

I don't mind people sitting in with us. However if they are cocky about it even if it's someone I know then that kind've ticks me off a little bit. But thankfully I don't get too many people asking to sit in with me or the band in general. Used to alot with the band Fayted but not any now with Floored-X. Once in a while we have a good friend who comes up to sing but other than that I think i've only ever had one other person sit in for me and that was SATAN so obviously I wasn't too worried about anything at all. I have joined many bands on stage to sing and play and have even asked about joining them but i've asked in a classy way. I make sure to tell them I dont wanna ruin their set list or anything and not trying to steal the show or anything but would just simply like to take in the pleasure of joining them on stage and having fun singin a song with them. Now if I was to go up and be like "hey im famous around here let me sing" then i'd understand but I don't find a problem with ppl asking to sing if they are classy and professional about it just as sitting in on any other instrument...

[ToonaRockGuy]

I've no problem with it if it's someone I know. Lord knows I've sat in with enough bands. Besides, sitting in can lead to subbing, which in my case it did. If I hadn't had the guts to ask back in the day to sit in, I wouldn't be subbing for the bands that I do today.

[DrumAndDestroy]

usually if someone wants to sit in with us...it's someone who played in the band before because we do almost all originals...but who cares...it's drunken fun when your friends come play with you.

if someone grabs a mic to do some vox with us...cool. that means someone knows our songs. we're not very picky about it cuz we just wanna have fun playing.

[Skate Toad]

I did a gig a lakemont the one year right after getting a brand new pearl kit. It was a 6 band showcase so we were trying to make life easy on the sound guy and have more time for each band etc. So i offered my kit so i would be able to play mine. And the one drummer at the very last song of their set jumps up and plants one foot on the stool and one foot right on the floor tom and starts bashing on my cymbals. Let's just say he is lucky they finished before i was able to finish climbing on the stage because i was about to grab him by the back of the shirt and yank him of my kit and stage all together(the stage was a flat bed trailer). That was the most disrespectful thing i think another musician can do. At least i had an agreement with the radio station running the show and i got a new kick drumhead(Broken) and crash(cracked) after that gig. They weren't too happy to see that bill. I'm very careful anymore of who touches my kit, especially the D DUBS.

[rreihart]

I'm very careful anymore of who touches my kit, especially the D DUBS.

Makes me feel special, I got to play them!

[Wiggus]

There is definitely an etiquette involved with "sitting in".

I never ask to sit in...NEVER.

You have to be asked to sit in...PERIOD.

If someone I don't know asks to sit in, they won't. It's a self fulfilling prophecy.

An exception would be if you are REALLY good friends with the band, or a former member, and trusted by the band. Then again, at that point, you'll probably be asked to play anyway, so just wait to be asked. and if you are polite, and don't throw up, you'll probably be asked up the next time.

The reason I'm so adamant on this subject is not because of meanness, or ego, or superiority. It's professional. I was scheduled to do a fill-in gig for Trace and Blues Moon recently. I went out to take some notes (yes, notes) and have a few beers. They were kind enough to ask me to sit in. That could have also been out of self preservation, giving themselves time to find a last minute replacement if I sucked. Sitting in turned into playing the rest of the night with them, and it was fun. Thanks Trace. But I never went expecting to play at all.

When I'm on stage, I'm at work. A band is a job. I'm not saying it shouldn't be fun. You work for the bar, or the festival, or the benefit, or the retirement village (yes, really) that hired you. Behave professionally. You show up on time. You perform to the best of your ability. That does not include letting some wasted guy who wants to get laid get on stage and belch 1/3 of the lyrics to "Black Dog". At that point you broke your trust with whoever hired you, and he's not getting laid anyway. You turned your gig into "band camp". Don't expect to be asked back.

The reason people get bent out of shape when you don't let them sit in is that they are living in a rock & roll fantasy, and assume you are too. Maybe some of you are, and probably ask to sit in all the time too.

Mr. R&R Fantasy just thinks that you're all there to have a good time...and you are. But there are rules. If Mr. R&R Fantasy is a patron, he may not necessarily know the rules. That's when you should be polite. He just feels comfortable enough with the band to ask. If they're drunk you can usually brush them off with a "Wait till the third set, dude" or "Sure, you know side one of "Tales from Topographic Oceans", don't you?". Hopefully he will forget or pass out before then. No need to be mean.

If Mr. R&R Fantasy is another player, he's probably an idiot. These guys are harder to shake off. They are usually a lot better in their minds than they are as players. That's when it good to have big friends who can lock them in the trunk of your Lincoln Continental until you drop them off naked by the railroad tracks at 4am. They'll love it. Now that's R&R!

You Blues players probably know this hated guy: The Hohner Owner. These are the most insidious of the wanna-bees. They chose an instrument so small that it can easily slip past the frisking at the door, and the declaration of concealed instruments. Then after several beers, they park themselves near the side of the stage and blow along with every song you play; "BLOW" being the important verb in that sentence. The Hohner Owner is sooo good, that they can play in every key with just ONE harmonica. Amazing really. They should be quietly buried under the stage between sets.

Mr. R&R Fantasy also has no idea how much money you've wrapped up in gear over the last 20 years. Keep price tags on all you're equipment to scare them a little and to attract thieves. Drummers have it the worst of all. Not only did your Neil Peart signature kit cost you $8500 and a '79 Malibu, but now you've got Phill Kludd pounding the crap out of your calfskin heads after he rearranged everything to suit his "style" of playing. Our drummer has the best defense against wanna-bees...he's left handed. If a "righty" really wants to play, we dangle him upside down from the ceiling with duct tape.

NO, I said and took the sticks back. She looked at me with an evil grimmace and stared daggers at me the rest of the night.

This is simply a run-in with a self-entitled brat whose always gotten what she wanted. You know the kind. The girls who always made you take their lunch tray back for them "or my boyfriend's gonna kill you"...or so I've heard. Choose burial or trunk-locking at your discretion.

[VENTGtr]

What Wigs said.

I had a girl come up on the stage at Glenn's Place the
last time we played there and grabbed my sticks and said "Can I play the
drums now?"

I think she traveled over to Brockway last Saturday! She got up and sat
at our drummers kit and said "Teach me how to drum". He's the nicest
guy in the world and we were having a great time there. As has been
alluded to, these kind of things can sometimes turn a great night into an
uncomfortable thing, so handling it can be tricky. She was really cool the
whole night, so it wasn't like someone being obnoxious all night.

I grabbed a Miller-Lite shirt (They were sponsoring) and it turned into a
comedy sketch:

Me: Hey Becky (Had spoken to her during a break)! Trade you a shirt
(Which I was going to throw at her in about 30 seconds anyway) for the
sticks.

Her: Really?!

Me: Yep.

Her: Ooh!

Back to work.

What in the world would possess someone to have
the nads to walk up on stage, grab the sticks and prepare to start
slamming away?

That would be beer a/o shots.

[Jones]

We use in ears, so it's impossible for someone to sit in with us, on any instrument. And that's exactly how I like it

As do we, with no amps and electronic drums so it's near impossible.....however we have been known to plug headphones into our pack to let friends sit in and sing.

As far as asking to sit in, totally uncalled for.

Hey VENT, can I sit in?

[BDR]

There is definitely an etiquette involved with "sitting in".

I never ask to sit in...NEVER.

You have to be asked to sit in...PERIOD.

If someone I don't know asks to sit in, they won't. It's a self fulfilling prophecy.

Pretty much sums me up. Asking to sit in is fairly self-important, IMO.

r:>)

[Fourth River]

we'll do it all the time with friends that are in other bands.. they'll come up during our set and/or we go up during theirs.. we've also been known when they open, even if we don't know the band real well to let them share our equipment.. but it's in the understanding that everything must be respected.. we have yet to have any issues.. but i never let random people come up and play my stuff.. for all I know they have lepersy and are gonna leave skin fragments on my drums...