Biggest band Problems

Imgrimm01 · Post by **Imgrimm01** » Tuesday Jun 22, 2004

I have been in bands for many years and I've spent alot of time watching what the main causes of band break-ups tend to be and I've narrowed it down to about 3 main causes ( IN MY EXPERIENCE ), I would be interested in hearing some of your opinions / experiences... Please don't use Proper names just be sorta Generic , I don't want to have hurt feelings over this post.

lonewolf · Post by **lonewolf** » Tuesday Jun 22, 2004

1. Members move on to another career or location, especially college bands.

2. Members get burned out from doing the same stuff over and over and over.

3. Wedding bells and the calling of 2.7 children, 1.4 dogs and .9 cats.

str8h8 · Post by **str8h8** » Tuesday Jun 22, 2004

My typical experiences...

Someone suddenly gets pussy-whipped, too many people are on drugs or drink too heavily, 1 or more people just aren't on the same page and heading in the same direction, the woman attached to a member thinks they are a member of the band too.

J Michaels · Post by **J Michaels** » Tuesday Jun 22, 2004

1) lack of ability / responsibility -- either someone can't play, or at least not as well as they think, or they don't bother to show up on time or at all

2) musical differences -- a cliche, but if opinions over style of music to play / write differ, not much point in being in a band together, right? This includes covers vs. originals, this cover vs. that cover, this style of cover (or original) vs. that style of cover (or original), etc.

3) real life commitments / choices -- everything in life is a choice (if you choose not to decide, you still have made a choice! for those posting on the other thread who LOVE Geddy's voice so much)

-- if certain real life priorities have to come first, that can lead to a breakup - I left a band in Cincinnati that was awesome (including the best guitar player I have ever personally known, and we wrote well together, great stage vibe / chemistry, etc.), but I was going for my PhD, decided to come to Penn State, and that trumped being in the band

different takes on this?

bassist_25 · Post by **bassist_25** » Tuesday Jun 22, 2004

The biggest problem I've encountered is: varying levels of commitment. I love playing in this band right now because it's great to have 3 other guys who are serious about booking shows, serious about making money, know their shit when you walk into practice, don't have any "issues", and are always on the top of their game during a gig.

Banned · Post by **Banned** » Tuesday Jun 22, 2004

bassist_25 wrote:The biggest problem I've encountered is: varying levels of commitment. I love playing in this band right now because it's great to have 3 other guys who are serious about booking shows, serious about making money, know their shit when you walk into practice, don't have any "issues", and are always on the top of their game during a gig.

Hah, you guys wouldn't happen to be hiring, would you?

Some other reasons bands break up:

Band member fools around with significant other of fellow band member.
Band member is in relationship with another band member. Relationship ends bitterly.
Nobody comes to see band.
Band sucks.
Band member goes to jail.
Band has hit single (only applies to Wall of Voodoo).

TJ Kelly · Post by **TJ Kelly** » Tuesday Jun 22, 2004

Guys running around on stage in kilts (skirts to you and me boys) and grabbing my ass as I go for that killer ending note. Oh sorry Jimmy I'm talking about some other guy at that other show at the Escapade... or was that the Colonade. I forget

Punkinhead · Post by **Punkinhead** » Tuesday Jun 22, 2004

Women, Drugs, Lack of Responsibility, People Not Showing Up, Different Musical Ideas of what the music the band should play, Did I mention Women?

byndrsn · Post by **byndrsn** » Tuesday Jun 22, 2004

So many of the reasons posted have either a strong tie to situations I have been involved with or situations I have seen from afar. I agree with soooooo many of the reasons stated.

But....... I am really surprised that no one mentioned EGO!!

Wait, I'm sorry - I've never met an egotistical musician!!!

Seriously, great topic!!

frozenhellfire · Post by **frozenhellfire** » Tuesday Jun 22, 2004

All of the above and a few annoying "little" things, such as, trying to tune or talk and then someone else plays their instrument at the highest possible level, trying to inform that person that you are trying to tune or talk is next to impossible, and trying to explain a songs structure to someone who has no idea how to structure a song. Oh yes, mentioned once or twice already by someone else, but, damn significant others coming to practice and lagging the whole session, or he or she trying to be a pseudo member, annoying!

tonefight · Post by **tonefight** » Tuesday Jun 22, 2004

Bottom Line : All musicians are F@#ked up and cannot function as a group for an extended period of time.

But every single one of us is searching for the exeption!!!

Banned · Post by **Banned** » Tuesday Jun 22, 2004

TJ Kelly wrote:Guys running around on stage in kilts (skirts to you and me boys) and grabbing my ass as I go for that killer ending note. Oh sorry Jimmy I'm talking about some other guy at that other show at the Escapade... or was that the Colonade. I forget

There's another thing that breaks bands up: sharing your gay fantasies on a public message board.

facingwest · Post by **facingwest** » Wednesday Jun 23, 2004

Lack of communication with other band members and making decisions prior to talking it over with everyone. If you're in a band, you have an equal say. It takes ALL the members of the band to move foward in something, not one. Ego's gots ta go.

You gotta treat a band like a professional job. Only the band members have a say in something. Spouses and girlfriends are not part of the band, thus do not get any say in matters. It's hard enough to keep several members focused, yet add anyone else to the picture.

If any benefits come with the band (food, lodging, drinks), the band is the only one that can take advantage of it. I've seen too many times where this particular one was over looked and it left things a little bitter. If it wasn't for the band getting the privledge in the first place, the opportunity wouldn't be there. Don't abuse it either because it is a privledge. Even though some might thing we are rock stars, we're not. We're workers trying to make a place money, so we can walk out, in return, making money as well.

Learn to pick and choose your battles. You have to think "Is this worth the hastle it's going to cause by bringing it up?" A person might be in the right for what they are standing up for, but it might be so petty, that it won't make a difference to anyone else.

HurricaneBob · Post by **HurricaneBob** » Wednesday Jun 23, 2004

The good thing about the Canes is theres only 3 of us to keep together. What weve been are honest to each other and all decisions must be unanimous with the group. We also set goals year to year and try to reach them. We are lucky to have wives and girlfriends that are very supportive. Ive been sat down a couple times for my drinking and i respect them for that. Were the best of friends and that counts alot. This year makes 10 yrs for the 3 of us because plain and simple theres no bullshit and a hell of a lot of FUN! Bands that are to serious just makes it a bad enviroment.

(who am i kidding, we hate each others guts!) ROFL!

songsmith · Post by **songsmith** » Wednesday Jun 23, 2004

It's always been:
Women.
Substance Abuse.
Ego.

I think Henry Rollins said it best when he said," (sigh)...f*ckin' women!"
Now you know I loves me some women, i respect them, and truth be told, I put them on a pedestal that maybe nobody could live up to, but that old game of push/pull the genders have played for eons can spell disaster for any group of men. I think it has to do with how we're raised with different expectations. Understand, too, that I'm not taliking about female musicians, they generally understand how to thrive in a male-dominated group (well, except Aja Jones), it's just that many women expect to be included in decisions, and that cannot and should not be. I have no say in my wife's day job... it works like that. Oh, and bandmembers sharing, um, "partners," that's a world of hurt just waiting to happen.

If there's one thing I will not tolerate, it's a drunk with a microphone. It's why karaoke sucks big hairy donkey balls, and a pro musician should just know better. Shame on you if you can't stay sober enough for your show, and your team. If you feel you're better when you're partied up, you're deluding yourself, it's just that cut-and-dried. Relax, a beer's okay, a shot's okay, a bowl's okay, but the line is blurry, and next thing you know, you've crossed it and you're a blithering idiot.

Ego is a two-edged sword. I've always felt a good muso MUST have at least some ego. You gotta have balls to get up there onstage in the first place, and confidence is a must or you'll choke. Balance is key, however. Humility is also necessary, or you just come off as a dick. How many cats do you know who think they're a LOT better than they really are at their game? (I sort approach it like, I know I'm not all that good at playing, but I must be okay, 'cause people keep asking me to play) The point here is that a band is a team, and no individual should be "better" than the team as a whole. It amazes me how guys forget that. Look at The Grimm... all great musicians, yet none is head and shoulders "above" the others... they are a well-matched, well-organized team, and it shows. The sum is more than it's parts.

There are other things that bug me a little, but those are the big issues I see. I'm pretty forgiving about most stuff. Family issues can bother some bands, but I'd rather dissolve a band than get in the way of family, that comes first. You can always find a band, but kids are kids for a short time. Well, that's my .02. Good topic, and always an issue we deal with.------->JMS

HurricaneBob · Post by **HurricaneBob** » Wednesday Jun 23, 2004

my ego left me for a better body...

ZappasXWife · Post by **ZappasXWife** » Wednesday Jun 23, 2004

Thats funny Bob, cause my body left me (at age um 25) for a better ego

GUITARII · Post by **GUITARII** » Wednesday Jun 23, 2004

facingwest wrote:Only the band members have a say in something. Spouses and girlfriends are not part of the band, thus do not get any say in matters. It's hard enough to keep several members focused, yet add anyone else to the picture.

SOOOOOO True!!

Band members griping about not playing enough..... Band wives griping about playing too much!

It's a damned if you do and damned if you don't situation.... On one hand, you get the "I love the fact that you play and want you to have fun and it's so cool to see you out there!" then you get.... "I'm always the one that has to stay home with the kids.... Don't you think four times in one weekend is too much? When are we gonna spend some time together? I hate going to hear you play and having to watch all of those young girls flashing their perky breastises in front of you....."

Then don't go!!! Of course my lady is nothing like that.........

I also think one of the biggest reasons break-ups happen is when band members get "involved"..... it leads to the other band members getting jealous and can never amount to anything good...... for the band that is! That happened with one of my earlier bands.... oh the memories!

byndrsn · Post by **byndrsn** » Wednesday Jun 23, 2004

GUITARII wrote:
I also think one of the biggest reasons break-ups happen is when band members get "involved"..... it leads to the other band members getting jealous and can never amount to anything good...... for the band that is!

Dude, if you don't like where our relationship is heading - just say the word.

SUperstar · Post by **SUperstar** » Wednesday Jun 23, 2004

tonefight wrote:Bottom Line : All musicians are F@#ked up and cannot function as a group for an extended period of time.

But every single one of us is searching for the exeption!!!

BINGO!!!!! Take all of the examples and put them under this heading.. Then again I have played in the same band w/ the same 3 people since 1990. So I guess we all just know how to deal.

But countless cover bands have come and gone...For the main reason that musicians are flakes!!

April · Post by **April** » Friday Jun 25, 2004

Being in a band is like being married to 3 or 4 people all at the same time.

facingwest · Post by **facingwest** » Saturday Jun 26, 2004

Something band members don't understand is if you're getting one member of the band to draw attention, so what?!?! It's a good thing, unless it goes to the person's head that it's happening to. The way we have things set up with the duo is Kenny does a good part of the solos while I'm trying to take that 20 seconds to scan the crowd to see what song is going to work next or how to chain a few songs together. The other night there were a few musicians in the audience going nuts over what he was doing. All I can say is he makes me proud because he does what he's supposed to do and I can count on him for that. We have an agreement to keep each other in "check" as well.

lonewolf · Post by **lonewolf** » Saturday Jun 26, 2004

It seems like every year or two I try to start or join a band and it ends up being a reminder of why I work solo. Thanks everyone for managing to get all the reasons down on one page.

tornandfrayed · Post by **tornandfrayed** » Sunday Jun 27, 2004

Bands are like the proverbial marriage. The key to a lasting relationship is communication. If you communicate effectively then the guitar player will be less likely to sleep with your girlfriend. If you communicate then the band will be less likely to perceive a "Lack of being into it". If you communicate then people will know where you stand. It seems like many problems can be resolved with communication.

I have been guilty of this in the past. Keep talking, keep the lines of communication open. Avoid the "Yoko" syndrome, and keep third parties limited. Stay real with each other.

Hey Jimi what about "I Ran"! Flock of F&*&^King Seagulls man!

huntzen · Post by **huntzen** » Saturday Jul 03, 2004

Drama!

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