Terrible Advice

J Michaels · Post by **J Michaels** » Wednesday Apr 16, 2008

ToonaRockGuy wrote:
MoonManTom wrote:So WHO should I vote for???
None of the above.

Q: Why did the chicken really cross the road?

Cuz - like all roosters - he was just following his pecker.

How do I keep my voice in shape on tour?

ToonaRockGuy · Post by **ToonaRockGuy** » Wednesday Apr 16, 2008

J Michaels wrote:
How do I keep my voice in shape on tour?

Swallow a combination of battery acid, broken glass, and sandpaper.

Q: Why don't PETA members eat animals?

Baceman Spiff · Post by **Baceman Spiff** » Wednesday Apr 16, 2008

Why did the chicken really cross the road?

To get away from Sanchez.

Should I finally ask my doctor about Viagra?

ZappasXWife · Post by **ZappasXWife** » Wednesday Apr 16, 2008

A: From what I've heard......YES
Q: Why is gas so expensive?

DirtySanchez · Post by **DirtySanchez** » Wednesday Apr 16, 2008

ToonaRockGuy wrote:
Q: Why don't PETA members eat animals?

Cuz they're made out of meat, and broccoli can't scream.
Plus it's more ethical to overpopulate and spread diseases, and Pamela Anderson said not to.

When should I say "When"?
Seriously.

Viva la Pelt · Post by **Viva la Pelt** » Wednesday Apr 16, 2008

when the officer say put down ur weapon!

how do you spell relief?

Post by **Jim Price** » Wednesday Apr 16, 2008

how do you spell relief?

Gas.

Why is gas so expensive?

Because "beans" haven't yet been legalized.

Q: Why ask why?

DrumAndDestroy · Post by **DrumAndDestroy** » Wednesday Apr 16, 2008

Jim Price wrote:
how do you spell relief?
Gas.

Why is gas so expensive?
Because "beans" haven't yet been legalized.

Q: Why ask why?

beacause nobody really knows anything about anything.

Why do fools fall in love?

BloodyFingers · Post by **BloodyFingers** » Wednesday Apr 16, 2008

Why do fools fall in love?

Because they both won the same prize in a cracker jack box.

What happens when you fart on a lit match ?

Banned · Post by **Banned** » Wednesday Apr 16, 2008

What happens when you fart on a lit match ?

You murder it.

What's all the fuss about yellow snow?

Banned · Post by **Banned** » Wednesday Apr 16, 2008

undercoverjoe wrote: What's all the fuss about yellow snow?

It makes your breath a little "Gamey".

Why did God put the shitter so close to the snack bar?

songsmith · Post by **songsmith** » Wednesday Apr 16, 2008

To cover up the smell of the burgers.

Why is the alphabet in that particular order?---->JMS

KyleMayket · Post by **KyleMayket** » Wednesday Apr 16, 2008

Q: Why is the alphabet in that particular order?

A: Because the Jackson 5 song came out first.

Q: Why is Cocaine considered "Bad"?

Slacker Steve · Post by **Slacker Steve** » Thursday Apr 17, 2008

Q: Why is Cocaine considered "Bad"?

A: Because of people like nicole richie

Q: What came first, the chicken or the egg?

DirtySanchez · Post by **DirtySanchez** » Thursday Apr 17, 2008

A: The chicken and the egg came simultaneously, then shared a smoke.

Q: What do you do when your uncle Jack gets stuck on a horse?

MoonManTom · Post by **MoonManTom** » Thursday Apr 17, 2008

Q: What do you do when your uncle Jack gets stuck on a horse?

Shoot Him!

Why is it that no matter what color bubble bath you use the bubbles are always white?

songsmith · Post by **songsmith** » Thursday Apr 17, 2008

MoonManTom wrote:[Why is it that no matter what color bubble bath you use the bubbles are always white?[/b]

Racism, like always.

Where do babaies come from?----------->JMS

BDR · Post by **BDR** » Thursday Apr 17, 2008

songsmith wrote:
MoonManTom wrote:[Why is it that no matter what color bubble bath you use the bubbles are always white?[/b]

Racism, like always.

Just another case of the man keeping a good bubble down.

Sorry.

r:>)

Trucula · Post by **Trucula** » Thursday Apr 17, 2008

songsmith wrote:
MoonManTom wrote:[Why is it that no matter what color bubble bath you use the bubbles are always white?[/b]

Racism, like always.

Where do babaies come from?----------->JMS

Their privates like the rest of us!

HOW DO THEY GET THE M's on M&Ms ?

KyleMayket · Post by **KyleMayket** » Thursday Apr 17, 2008

Q: HOW DO THEY GET THE M's on M&Ms ?

A: They get extremely smart monkeys to paint "W's" on them, and then they turn them upside down.

What would be the best kind of TV to buy?

HurricaneBob · Post by **HurricaneBob** » Thursday Apr 17, 2008

Q: What would be the best kind of TV to buy?

A: 13" black and white with no remote.

How do i pass a piss test?

BDR · Post by **BDR** » Thursday Apr 17, 2008

Hurricane wrote:How do i pass a piss test?

I've always heard that doing a line of coke right before the test is the best method.

Paper or plastic?

r:>)

DrumAndDestroy · Post by **DrumAndDestroy** » Thursday Apr 17, 2008

BadDazeRob wrote:
Hurricane wrote:How do i pass a piss test?
I've always heard that doing a line of coke right before the test is the best method.

Paper or plastic?

r:>)

cut lines with plastic. snort them with rolled up paper.

should i get insurance on a rental car?

Baceman Spiff · Post by **Baceman Spiff** » Thursday Apr 17, 2008

should i get insurance on a rental car?

Only if you plan on taking it back.

How many seas must a white dove sail, before she sleeps in the sand?

songsmith · Post by **songsmith** » Thursday Apr 17, 2008

Baceman Spiff wrote:\

How many seas must a white dove sail, before she sleeps in the sand?

The answer, my friend, is winded from blowing me.

How much wood SHOULD the woodchuck have chucked?---->JMS