upset and totally lost

[Banned]

Has anyone witnessed last breathe before , happened tome yesterday as of 1:00 pm i watched my dad do this , and it is hitting me now , and he ain't commin back and it really hurts......., and i'm very sad and don't know how to handle this and this all seems not real like a dream . i'm so lost and confused rite now , i'm not ready to lose him, it's just not fair...................... singed, so empty inside.......................................................................................................................................

[DickShackBass]

I'm so sorry.

[RobTheDrummer]

Sorry to hear about your loss. I lost my stepfather in 2004. It's not an easy thing to deal with, but hang in there. Coping with losing a loved one is one of the toughest things in life. It's good that you loved him, and to know that he will be with you forever, regardless. Take care man.

[Mistress_DB]

As long as you hold a memory of him in your heart, he is never really gone.

[Lisa]

I witnessed my uncle's last breath. The only positive memory about that moment is that I know he was at peace with it. The rest of my feelings are purely selfish. They all surround the mourning process...the why me? The anger over the fact that he had to die...

Its been a few years and I still remember but that last breath is barely there. What I see now is him not ill. I see him sneaking me cigarettes when I was a teenager. I see him checking my engine to make sure that there is still oil in there. I see him playing cards again.

It is true what they say about time heals.

My mom has terminal cancer. I know at some point, I will watch her take her last breath too. I want to be there for her every moment in life. She is my best friend. And although I dread the thought of losing her, I know it will happen and I want to make sure that she knows that when she is ready, I will let her go in peace. She deserves that. She's deserved knowing that upon her death she did everything in life to see that I am ready to walk the earth without her.

Its not easy. But in time....

[DrumAndDestroy]

i am sorry about your loss.

[Little Devil Girl]

I was with my grandfather when he passed. It was the saddest/scariest time of my life. He had been talking and laughing with us a few hours earlier...but we knew it was coming. I am sad that he is gone, but I remember all of the wonderful times we had, the stories he shared and the love he gave me so freely. Remember him as happy and loving and it will help ease the pain. He is truly in a better place now.
You have my thoughts and prayers.

[mjb]

sorry to hear this stan, my wife is going through this right now, and is having a rough go of it. some days are better than others. time does make things a little better. i lost my dad 26 years ago and i still miss him and still think about him most every day. hang in there man. my heart goes out to ya.

[nightcrawler_steve]

Im sorry about your dad. I cant even imagine how you must feel. I hope you have family and friends to comfort you during this difficult period.

All the best to you.

~S

[tornandfrayed]

Man I feel so sorry for you. Remember that your Dad is no longer in any discomfort. Depending on what your beliefs are your Dad could be in a really cool place.

I choose to believe in eternal life, Heaven, and I have this vision of people in Heaven doing the things that they loved. Sometimes when you get older you start to lose the ability to do some of the things that you really enjoy. I have a great friend who lost her husband a while back. When we talk about Ray we joke that he is probably playing golf right now and the sun is shining and he is actually playing well for once!

The passing of a loved one is always hard, it is hard for those of us left behind.

Hang in there man. I thin k you did the right thing by letting some of your pain out here, with that post.

[Hannibal]

I understand exactly what you are going through at this moment. I lost my mother eleven years ago, and I was with her when she passed. We knew it was going to happen. It was just a matter of time, but it was still difficult to handle.

I had a harder time when i lost my dad on a long past New Years Day. I wasn't there right away. It was his second heart attack that got him. Friends told me that the first year is the hardest. It's been 28 years since I lost dad, and it's not much easier. I still don't enjoy New Years as much as I used to.

I think the way to honor them is to be the best version of yourself that you can be.

[Hawk]

I was with my sister-in-law (along with my wife and her family) when she passed away. While it was hard for everyone, I think it was very comforting for my sister-in-law to have family around her in her final moments.

I'm sure your dad was comforted to have you near him. Take solace in what your presence did for him.

My condolences.

[Trucula]

God Speed Bro! I am so sorry.

[songsmith]

It is true what they say about time heals.

It really is true. There are several stages of grief, shock is the first, even if it was an extended illness. It will pass, I promise you.
I lost my dad when I was 20, and we never reconciled, which made it particularly painful and confusing. With time, I realized that we were family, and those bonds bridged the gap between us, whether we got along or not. The feelings between a father and son are understood only by fathers and sons.
Like the others, I've felt what you're feeling now, and my heart goes out to you; likewise, I now revisit the same touchstone in my own life, and 24 years later, I barely recall how much I hurt then. However, I remember fishing and hunting together, working in the family business together, and all his dumb jokes like they were yesterday. There's no distance to those memories at all. The sense of loss is gone, and I remember only the fullness of life. I have tears as I write this, but they're not tears of pain.
Try to remember now that life has a beginning, middle, and end for all of us, and that someday, if you are fortunate, your son will mourn you as well. Ask yourself how you would want him to feel about it. I bet that's how your dad would want you to feel, too.
My sincerest sympathies go out to you, and thank you for helping me touch base with my own acceptance of it. Time, and self-reflection, are truly healers.-------->JMS

[waydowneast]

I feel so sorry for you.
My grandfather was my best friend and I watched him die in 2004.
and I will never forget it....
My sister and I was standing outside of the hospital when I noticed a single beam of light shining through the clouds right on his window. I said we better get back up there I bet Pap will go today.
When we got back up there the family was in the waiting room and they said the Nurses are giving him a bath. So I went in to see if they were done. When I walked in the Nurses were all looking at him and they said you better go get the rest of the family. I was so sad. The grandchildren held hands around his bed and prayed. He was trying to say something.. then my grandmother held him kissed him on the forehead and whispered into his ear that we will be fine. he looked at me shut his eyes and took his last breath.
My grandfather showed me everything in life that I like to do and I think about him always. We went fishing all the time and when I was a kid the year that the Cicada came was so fun and exciting we would listen to them, catch em and use them fishing. So as I got older I couldn't wait til they came back. They came back the same summer he died and When I stood there around his coffin right before I said goodbye I heard a song come out from a cicada that I never heard before. It was kind of like him saying goodbye.

I have yet to return to his grave.


As I'm still mourning the death of my grandfather it does get easier and I feel so sorry for you.

[CHICKSINGA]

I experienced the exact same thing almost 2 years ago when my Dad died on the 4th of July after a year-long battle with esophagael cancer. What you are feeling is the same as I did. (I also lost my fiancee' in 1981 a month before our wedding, ironically also on the 4th of July).

The best thing I think to do is feel it. Cry, scream, pray, etc. Don't bottle it up, it makes your pain last so much longer.

Bless you and I'll keep you in my thoughts.

Trace

[moxham123]

Stan,

Sorry to hear about your loss. It probably meant a lot to your father to know that you were there with him at that time. Take care.

[slink]

Sorry to hear about your Dad.

I too experienced the last breath, my sister and I were at his side and he was in a coma and suddenly he looked at us took a breath and that was the end.

That was 2 years ago, I don't have a good memory but I don't think I'll ever forget that.

My dad suffered at the end of his life so he was ready to go.

Your dad is a part of you and you won't get over loosin him but it will get easier.

Peace

[Jim Price]

First, my sincerest condolences over your loss.

Next month will mark 11 years since I went through it with my mother. She had been declared a cancer survivor after battling lung cancer, but the strain of the treatments had weakened her heart, and a heart attack suddenly claimed her one Saturday morning. My older brother and I were both at her bedside at the hospital when she breathed her last breath.

When it's quick like that, there is a period of shock and confusion. The grieving and mourning part really didn't set in with me for several days, when I realized the finality of it.

But as others have said, time does heal it. You'll never totally get over it, and you shouldn't really. You keep the memory alive through different things, whether it be doing some of the things that you did with your dad, or carrying on some of the traditions that he did. Every time I go fishing or tend my garden during the summer, the memory of my mother lives, as we used to do those things together. I also am learning to can and freeze produce from my garden (something she did constantly), and I also like to cook up some of her recipes she left behind as well.

As time passes, the mourning of your dad's loss will be replaced with celebrating his memory.

[Lifer]

My dad who has been battling aggressive brain cancer since Jan.07' is going to be passing soon. I've been bottling things up for awhile, and just recently let some pressure out. It definitely helped me, even though, I kinda knew what was coming for a year and had been mentally preparing myself for this for awhile now. Its going to be bad for awhile, but I got to be strong for my mother and family, and I also have the support of my awesome woman.

[DirtySanchez]

This Thread

I seriously feel for all of you. We all know this is a natural progression, but that does nothing to help lighten the blow. Keep company with good friends and enjoy every moment you're here.

[Naga]

My condolences. I've never personally experienced a "Last Breath" moment with anyone I was close to. I suppose it could lend more confusion. But as everyone here has already said, there are things you should do in this time

First, let yourself go. Don't bottle up, try to express it as you need. Vent it out if you have to. You'll feel better in the long run

Second, enjoy the comforts of your family and friends. Let them be there for you. And if you have the strength, try to do the same for them. Try to be there for them. If not, don't push yourself to. It may not be easy, but it's certainly helpful

Third, just take it a day at a time. You'll remember things as you have to and forget things as you have to. It's a step-by-step process, and there's no need to rush

I hope these all help. They're probably overly typical, but they're still pretty useful

[Asundor]

SORRY TO HEAR ABOUT YOUR LOSS BROTHA!!!!

[Bag]

Condolences. My Dad is gonna be 84 in 2 weeks and his health has recently started going south. It's a day I'm definitely dreading...

[mjb]

hey there. I'm Mjb's wife. I know how much pain you are going through.. it's hard .. it hurts... but just do what you are doing and let it out... otherwise it will cause more pain for you and your loved ones...
feel so blessed that you were able to be with your dad during those moments of life... and death.... even though your pain is overwhelming... I know there is no place that you would have rathered been... with him.. feeling love... I believe in a higher life and he will be waiting for you... to be together again... some day
god bless... take care ... and let it out