Overcomming Discouragement

[bassist4life2004]

Lately I've been getting discouraged with music, don't get me wrong, I love performing music and being active in the "scene", but i've been feeling extremely discouraged lately and I can't seem to find a way to overcome it. So, question is, have you ever been discouraged with music and in what way did you overcome it?

[metalchurch]

For me, I just sit back and say to myself, "hey atleast I'm not these guys"

And by "these guys" of course I mean Night Ranger.



Then I proceed to celebrate that fact by firing one up.

[HurricaneBob]

Not many nowadays, but this topic i can relate too.

Playing music can be a soul soother, a best friend, a final piece to the puzzle in your heart...Then it can turn around and rip it out. Playing with emotion takes a strain on your mind and body. Music has sent me over the edge and i visited the 4th floor of the green building one time for a chat, it was the only 2 year break i ever had since 17, but did i need that break. Talk about it to anyone who will listen.

There's not much that compares to a great night with your band when everyones on and your adrenaline and emotions are high, sometimes you hit a rut where nothing you do is good enough for yourself...the brickwalls and the constant thinking while you play can ruin your mind. Playing sober has done wonders for me the last year and a half too, i was a mean drunk as many know. A past drinking escapade has condemned me from our 17 SCI prisons this year, but everything happens for a reason and its just another spike in my reasons to stay sober.

Don't forget to write about it either, get those feelings out in song, playing your own stuff about times in your life will be with you forever. I find it more gratifying to lift your spirits playing originals than the covers.

One thing i like to do is take the dogs into the woods for a nice head clearing walk, even in winter it does wonders for me.....oh yeah, always pack one too.

Keep the chin up, sometimes it cant get any worse.

[songsmith]

I walk, too, and fish a LOT. Being on Rockpage helps... I can give some advice on whatever, and it helps me touch base with what I already know... or I can learn something I didn't know.
Everybody has self-doubt, and inner struggle is part of being creative, so get used to it.
Maybe you need a new project. I'd had it with rock & country bands, they're so common, I just felt like another cog in the machine, so I went first toward honkytonk Americana, and now bluegrass. Both are completely different scenes, though with some audience overlap so you don't feel TOO alien. For me, it allowed me to stand out a little more, as the "new guy" who's been around for 25 years. I'm having a great time, and I never thought that'd happen again. Maybe you're just simply jaded because you have a good handle on what you do, after all the work you've put into it. It happens all the time... how many acts get to the pinnacle of success, then blow it because they worked so hard, they never thought about what they'd do if they got there. So you sold a jillion records, played a thousand sold-out shows, and thanked your Mom on the Grammys... then what do you do? Maybe you're not at the pinnacle of success, but when you've done everything you can do for your career, then what?
Do something else. I figure someday I'll write a novel. I have some outlines in the can, and someday I'm going to do that.
And fish. ------->JMS

[Primates]

I dont consider myself a musician. I dont play live but i put on shows. And thats as close as i get. But i can definitely relate. On more then a few occasions ive walked away feeling like giving up. Being 17 doesn't help much either. I am limited on what i can do. From doing shows and trying to get a studio going ive felt like quiting a number of times. The main thing im worried about is i know people that did exactly what im doing and walked away having failed completely or were just broken. I knew a guy named Ron who was doing the same thing i am and one day he just left. Just took off.

So that kind of puts into perspective in a very non-helpful way. Heres someone who had a decent job backing his company and was doing great work and then hits a rough patch and thats it. I'm 17 years old and ive only been doing it for 2 years. How the hell am i going to make it?

But i guess thats also what keeps me going. To prove to everyone that i can do it. And even maybe prove to myself. Anytime i feel like quiting i always have the same thought. I'll just keep going.

[RobTheDrummer]

I think we've all been there man. Maybe just take some time off, look back and reflect on what you've done. Lot of times, you'll realize that you've done more than you thought! Sometimes you just get burnt out! Relax and realize why you do what you do, and you won't be discouraged!

[Team Transylvania]

I think we've all been there man. Maybe just take some time off, look back and reflect on what you've done. Lot of times, you'll realize that you've done more than you thought! Sometimes you just get burnt out! Relax and realize why you do what you do, and you won't be discouraged!

Perfect. This man speaks the truth.

[Jim Price]

I think everybody goes through it from time to time. I know there are times when "the grind" of doing what I do gets to me. Having relaxing diversions away from "the grind" helps; for me, it can be fishing (like songsmith said); taking a walk, hike or drive; or during the summer, doing some garden work...just something peaceful that gives you time to reflect, put things in perspective, and hopefully recharge.

[onegunguitar]

I took about 8 months from playing in a band,I didn't play my guitar alot during that time frame as well,that was 3 years ago (I think) and when I got back into it I felt refreshed and had a whole new attitude.Sometimes just stepping away from something can make all the difference in the world.

[Klamachpin]

I, myself, am experiencing an unwelcome down-time funk right now & I don't see the light at the end of the tunnel. The full-time band that I was in broke up during this past summer(no fault of my own). Then I fell into a part-time(VERY part-time) band & now there's no gigs, no practice, no nothing. Opportunies & even places to play are slim to non-existent. Sure I have other things I'm interested in but nothing can take the place of "playing in the band". And having a good night, making some people happy(hopefully), keeping your chops up, making money with your instrument. When all that's gone, there's an empty feeling inside. Well, there's a time for this & a time for that in life. I know that I've just gotta deal. Hopefully, I can hang around long enough for things to come back around, God-willing.

[RamRod 1]

Yes, like Rob said. Taking time off is maybe the best thing to do. It will make you horny to play and give you fresh ideas.

Talk about burn-out, I'm looking at 40 years of playing bars. Once about 15 years ago, I even changed my job to work weekends for 2 years just to keep me from playing so I could do a new project.

[bassist_25]

I've learned a few things in both life and music that I try to remember whenever I'm having a more introspective moment.

- It's alright to be selfish every once in a while: There have been times that I've remained in projects because I felt like I had an obligation to the other cats. I've learned that if I'm not happy with a situation, then I have the right to either a). remedy that situation b). walk away from that situation. Sometimes a situation is just beyond repair, and you have to walk away from it. I advocate being professional and always giving a project at least a month notice to look for a replacement, cancel gigs, or do whatever they need to do. I'm not saying that's your situation, Ken, but it's just something that I always keep in mind. Usually, when a project breaks up, I'm almost always relieved; it broke up for a reason.

- We're all mortal: I don't mean that we're mortal in a literal sense. I mean that it really doesn't matter how much success any of us have - we're still prone to playing poorly on any given night or playing to an empty house. This is a fickle business that we're in, and you may be hot one month and then not the next. You really have to stay grounded or you'll surely self-destruct. Most bands eventually break up, and I usually say that any local band that's been around for three years probably has had a good run. I've seen a lot of cats have their egos shattered when they aren't playing to the same crowds that they were before. I think it's better for bands to have some serious dues paying in the first year or so of their existence. Bands that explode right out of the gate almost always fade into obscurity once the hype dies. It's easier to appreciate success when you've struggled for a little while, and I think that it's also easier to appreciate success when the band is starting to burn out.

- Realize that the burn out rate is high for this lifestyle: Whether you're traveling to shows in the region or on a tour bus or in a van, gigging is a rough lifestyle. That's the bottom line. It is a grind, especially if you have a routine down. Equipment is heavy. Sometimes I deal with lower back pain that comes from lifting my cabinets, and I'm only 25! We spend a lot of time on the road, because in this day and age, you have to travel some distance to some shows. I have no plans of gigging for the rest of my life. I want to remain in music, but I think that there will be a time that I put my basses in the closet and try something else...at least for a little while. I'd love to start my own independent label or get into promoting.

- Find a hobby that is totally away from music - Music was my thing since I was 13 years old. I've found other things that occupy my time since then. If music's frustrating you, then you need something else to get away from music.

- Read philosophy: I'm being serious about this. This goes back to my earlier point about being grounded. Those who are not grounded in the music business will self-destruct, will never be happy or content, and will inevitably piss off bandmates, significant others, and everyone else around themselves. I personally like Eastern philosophy. Maslow said that mentally healthy individuals have a life philosophy, and I definitely agree. Going back to the point about us all being mortal - You have to do music for music's sake. There will be a day when the money, the girls, and the people stroking your ego are gone. There's nothing instrinsically wrong with those three things, but if you weren't in music originally for the right reasons, then you're going to be a mess when you learn that we're all mortal.

I suppose that my point is that everyone gets burned out from time to time, and we're in an emotionally draining business. Musicians, in my experience, are generally a bit more of a different breed than the general population. We're a little more perceptive of the human condition, and we are a bit more tempermental. I had one of those gigs last night that frustrated me. I wasn't on at all. Forgetting chord changes in songs that I've played for the past four years, off timing on rests, vocal parts that I wasn't hitting - I ended the gig ashamed to be a musician. I have those gigs, just like any other musician who has spent some serious time on their instrument and on a stage has. I've had gigs where I literally wanted to have a mental break down on stage, chuck my bass through the grill of my cabinets, and then walk off the bandstand. It's tough to keep the show going when I'm feeling that way.

I've come to the realization that excellent performance comes from being able to let oneself go and play without any self-consciousness. My "local bass hero" has always been Seanson, even though Seanson's now in Cali. He always plays without any pretension or self-consciousness. I'm trying to get to that point. When I look back on all of my best performances, they were ones in which I had not a care in the world. I trusted that everyone with me on stage was going to be where they needed to be and all I had to do was let the music flow. Being on stage and performing shouldn't be stressful. Let booking gigs and dealing with promoters being stressful. Being on stage, in the studio, or whatever be your moment to be selfish.

Wow, once again I set out to write a paragraph or two and ended up writing a book.

[Sapo]

I've learned a few things in both life and music that I try to remember whenever I'm having a more introspective moment.

- It's alright to be selfish every once in a while: There have been times that I've remained in projects because I felt like I had an obligation to the other cats. I've learned that if I'm not happy with a situation, then I have the right to either a). remedy that situation b). walk away from that situation. Sometimes a situation is just beyond repair, and you have to walk away from it. I advocate being professional and always giving a project at least a month notice to look for a replacement, cancel gigs, or do whatever they need to do. I'm not saying that's your situation, Ken, but it's just something that I always keep in mind. Usually, when a project breaks up, I'm almost always relieved; it broke up for a reason.

- We're all mortal: I don't mean that we're mortal in a literal sense. I mean that it really doesn't matter how much success any of us have - we're still prone to playing poorly on any given night or playing to an empty house. This is a fickle business that we're in, and you may be hot one month and then not the next. You really have to stay grounded or you'll surely self-destruct. Most bands eventually break up, and I usually say that any local band that's been around for three years probably has had a good run. I've seen a lot of cats have their egos shattered when they aren't playing to the same crowds that they were before. I think it's better for bands to have some serious dues paying in the first year or so of their existence. Bands that explode right out of the gate almost always fade into obscurity once the hype dies. It's easier to appreciate success when you've struggled for a little while, and I think that it's also easier to appreciate success when the band is starting to burn out.

- Realize that the burn out rate is high for this lifestyle: Whether you're traveling to shows in the region or on a tour bus or in a van, gigging is a rough lifestyle. That's the bottom line. It is a grind, especially if you have a routine down. Equipment is heavy. Sometimes I deal with lower back pain that comes from lifting my cabinets, and I'm only 25! We spend a lot of time on the road, because in this day and age, you have to travel some distance to some shows. I have no plans of gigging for the rest of my life. I want to remain in music, but I think that there will be a time that I put my basses in the closet and try something else...at least for a little while. I'd love to start my own independent label or get into promoting.

- Find a hobby that is totally away from music - Music was my thing since I was 13 years old. I've found other things that occupy my time since then. If music's frustrating you, then you need something else to get away from music.

- Read philosophy: I'm being serious about this. This goes back to my earlier point about being grounded. Those who are not grounded in the music business will self-destruct, will never be happy or content, and will inevitably piss off bandmates, significant others, and everyone else around themselves. I personally like Eastern philosophy. Maslow said that mentally healthy individuals have a life philosophy, and I definitely agree. Going back to the point about us all being mortal - You have to do music for music's sake. There will be a day when the money, the girls, and the people stroking your ego are gone. There's nothing instrinsically wrong with those three things, but if you weren't in music originally for the right reasons, then you're going to be a mess when you learn that we're all mortal.

I suppose that my point is that everyone gets burned out from time to time, and we're in an emotionally draining business. Musicians, in my experience, are generally a bit more of a different breed than the general population. We're a little more perceptive of the human condition, and we are a bit more tempermental. I had one of those gigs last night that frustrated me. I wasn't on at all. Forgetting chord changes in songs that I've played for the past four years, off timing on rests, vocal parts that I wasn't hitting - I ended the gig ashamed to be a musician. I have those gigs, just like any other musician who has spent some serious time on their instrument and on a stage has. I've had gigs where I literally wanted to have a mental break down on stage, chuck my bass through the grill of my cabinets, and then walk off the bandstand. It's tough to keep the show going when I'm feeling that way.

I've come to the realization that excellent performance comes from being able to let oneself go and play without any self-consciousness. My "local bass hero" has always been Seanson, even though Seanson's now in Cali. He always plays without any pretension or self-consciousness. I'm trying to get to that point. When I look back on all of my best performances, they were ones in which I had not a care in the world. I trusted that everyone with me on stage was going to be where they needed to be and all I had to do was let the music flow. Being on stage and performing shouldn't be stressful. Let booking gigs and dealing with promoters being stressful. Being on stage, in the studio, or whatever be your moment to be selfish.

Wow, once again I set out to write a paragraph or two and ended up writing a book.

Wow, pretty well said.

My only advice is to never give up on yourself. Even when things seem hopeless. Never give up. Always stay true to yourself. Believe me, I've been there. Perserverence is half the battle.

[UNEARTHA7XMatt]

Like Rob said, We have all been there! I took almost 5 years off because of frustration, amongst other things as well but that was one of the issues I had. Whenever I get frustrated now I just think, "What would Brian Boitano do?" Then that seems to get me thru.

[tonefight]

Good subject

I think everyone goes through this, even if you are playing in a succesful band you may not really be doing what you want. The songs get old, the bar scene can get old, the people you are working with can get on your nerves. etc. etc. There can be several reasons.
If its your living (main source of income ) you can't really take a break but if its a hobby a break can do you good.
Relax and have some patience. Remember its suppsed to be fun otherwise its a job and if you aren't making a killing its not worth it. Do what puts a smile on your face.

[Griff]

I am in this boat right now, and I been here before.
I just focus on a goal and work my ass off until I achive it, and it can be very trying but when you see the progress your making it will be a rewarding feeling. keep your chin up and work at it, you will get through it.

[JustinGelvin]

I know the feeling! My circumstance dealt with the inevitable band breakup dilemma. Ive been out of the band scene and havent really done much but play at my house for the last 8 months. Since ive experienced this time off, ive definately learned a lot about myself. My appreciation for the music has greatly increased. Ive definately opened my ears to all styles of music instead of being narrow minded to one genre. Im ready to start a new project and it feels really good. I totally agree with taking a step back and gathering your thoughts. I truly believe it was one of the smartest decisions ive made.

[xero380]

I am going through this as well. I feel completely lost on the weekends sitting around and not being on a stage. It was definately a smart move taking this time away but now when it comes to getting back into the scene, I can't seem to find anyone to go back out with. No one wants to join forces and go at it. Definately made my like of music broaden a little bit and made me see that no matter how much complaining i did about packing up the kit and hauling it back and forth etc.., I really do enjoy it and miss it like crazy. Mostly what i've ran into is the fact that when I say about trying to be serious with it and taking it as far as it goes...it scares people away which I don't know why because if it so happens that you're good then you're good but no matter what the most main ingredient is are you having fun which is what i want out of this more than anything. To do something I love and to have fun with it on top of having a serious and professional mind about it. The discouragement has set into full effect as of late because I'm trying to start an acoustic act and get back into a band somewhere either singing or drumming and have been for the past few months and just seems like it's becoming a useless cause anymore but i'm doing my best to hold my head up although it's starting to get heavier and heavier by the day to the point i'm contemplating just giving it up possibly. So yes I know exactly what everyone is going through and I will agree with most people that will say it sucks but only advice I can give is to do what I tell myself everyday...hold your head up because it can only get better at this point....hopefully.

[bassist_25]

One thing that I've learned is that it is truly difficult to find people that you have chemistry with. I use to think that if you stuck people in a room together and as long as they were good musicians, then good music would come from that. I have since learned that that isn't true at all. You need to have a deeper understanding of each other to play music well, and there has to be a mutual respect between players as both musicians and as people.

[DirtySanchez]

One thing that I've learned is that it is truly difficult to find people that you have chemistry with. I use to think that if you stuck people in a room together and as long as they were good musicians, then good music would come from that. I have since learned that that isn't true at all. You need to have a deeper understanding of each other to play music well, and there has to be a mutual respect between players as both musicians and as people.

No Paul, you're just socially retarded. lol j/k