I should have known the darned papparazzi would catch up with me sooner or later. Yes, my secret has been uncovered.
I'll come clean...the energy field has grown stronger over the years, stemming from contant weekly consumption of Pelly's buffalo wings on Monday nights. The suit was developed to harness the energy from that field (I charge it up every Monday night after I return home from wings), and then I put the suit on whenever magazine delivery time rolls around every month.
Deep in the catacombs of Pennsylvania Musician headquarters in rural Liverpool, master genius Whitey is working on an even better suit for me. If it works, it should harness enough energy to allow me to deliver magazines to every bar in the state in one day! It's nearing completion, but there are some friction and overheating issues that have to be worked out.
HAHA!!! I knew you always looked familar. You were one of the dudes from the movie Tron!!!!! Don't mess with JP or he's gonna put the schmack down on ya.