1) Women who dress like strippers, then get all snotty when ugly dudes like me look at them. Listen, if your vulva shows above your jeans' waistband, I reserve the right to look at it. All the "hot bois" are either gay or can find women who don't have to show their cootchies. If you don't want me scoping your "skag tag," wear a t-shirt... guys like those, too.
2) I, too, think global warming is a load of hooey. Oh, I'm not denying a slight warming, but I think it's terribly egotistical to think we're doing it. The greenhouse gases released by a single volcano easily outweigh all the human output (sulphur dioxide is exponentially more powerful greenhouse-wise than CO2, and turns into sulphuric acid when combined with water), and the single largest source of methane is decaying rainforest material. I believe if we simply stopped existing, in a hundred years, the pollution we caused would no longer be a biological problem, and in a thousand years (still nanoseconds on the world's biological clock) there'd be little evidence we ever existed. Life goes on. Get over yourself.
3) As a straight, caucasian male, I have zero white guilt. People have discriminated against me for how I dress, my po'-folk rural background, my personal grooming, my garrulousness (look it up), my car, my address, my rebelliousness, and every other conceivable reason. Aside from uttering a few ugly labels, I have done nothing to harm anyone. I owe nothing, and refuse to kowtow to anyone... if you feel I'm disrespecting your "high position" you need to ask yourself why it is I have to respect you. Respect is earned. Outside of basic human mutual consideration, I owe nothing. Sorry. But not that sorry.
4) When I have to lie, and tell people I like music I really don't. Sure, we all do it, for some pretty noble reasons (we don't want to hurt someone's feelings, we don't feel like arguing our point, etc.), but plenty of folks disagree with my tastes, so why do I feel the need to validate their difference in tastes? I genuinely enjoy lots of different music, but I hate lots of it, too. New Age, Goth/Industrial, D & B, House, Ambient, and Broadway are all viable forms of music with substance, I suppose, but they are all truly lost on me, and strike me with about the same vibe as dick, or red beets... some people love 'em, but it ain't for me.
This goes double for music that is hackneyed or amateurish. As a longtime songwriter, I can tell you: Most of your songwriting sucks. Simply creating something does not make it good. It takes a lot of heart, a lot of inspiration, a lot of experience and a lot of kismet to make a good song, and if only 10% of your stuff is really truly good, you qualify as a composing legend. (As opposed to Kurt Cobain, who is a decomposing legend
) Never trust your mom, girlfriend, or the guy who owns the studio to tell you the truth about your songs. Sure, we all seek validation, and want to be congratulated for creating something, but BE REALISTIC and open yourself up for growth. Which brings me to my final peeve today:
5) People who smell of booze telling me how "awesome" I am. I am not awesome. I am adequate at most things I attempt, or I wouldn't attempt them. I am smart at choosing areas of expertise that make me look like I know what I'm doing, and also require little effort to reach that point. I flat-out suck at guitar, and there are soooo many good guitarists out there locally that I'd just languish at the bottom of the heap, so I play weird stuff like lap-steel and harmonica. I do a lot of stuff, but I'm not really good at any one thing, so I feel like I'm being patronized when somebody goes on and on, especially when they're happily drunk. Wanna really connect with me? Start your praise with,"... You know what you should try?..." or, "Wanna burn one?" I promise that gets my ear every time.
Rant over.-------------------->JMS
