Q: What's the difference between a banjo & a ukulele?
A: It only takes you half as long to burn a ukulele.
Q: How many bluegrass players does it take to change a light bulb?
A: None. They won't touch anything electric.
Q: How do you know it's a singer at the door?
A: He doesn't know when to come in.
Q: How do you know when there's a drummer at the door?
A: His timing is terrible and he never knows when to come in!
Q: How do you know when the drum riser is level?
A: The drummer is dribbling out of both sides of his mouth.
Q: How do you get an electric guitarist to turn down his amp?
A: Put a piece of sheet music in front of him.
Heard backstage: "Will the musicians and the drummer please come to the stage!"
Q: How many bass players does it take to change a light bulb?
A: It doesn't matter - bass players are never in the light anyway.
Q: What do you call a person who hangs out with musicians?
A: A drummer.
Q: Did you hear about the bass player who locked his keys in the car?
A: He had to break the window to let the drummer out!
Q: Why are concert intermissions limited to 20 minutes ?
A: So you won't need to retrain the singers.
Q: How do you know when a drummer is knocking at your door?
A: The knock always slows down.
Q: How many Deadheads does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: 12,001. One to change it, 2,000 to record the event and take pictures of it, and 10,000 to follow it around until it burns out.
