EXTREMELY awkward fapping situation at work

[Banned]

So earlier today I was trying to enjoy a mid-morning fap at work, I was in the stall being stealth and enjoying myself. There was a guy taking a dump in the stall next to me, but I've mastered the fap at work and this does not deter me.

However, just as things started getting REAL hot and heavy, there's a knock on the divider wall.

"Hey man, you jerking too? Want to help each other out?" In a panic, I pulled up my pants mid-fap and scurried for the exit.

I heard the Phantom Fapper also trying to get out of his stall in a hurry. Shoving open the bathroom door, I made a b-line for the hallway, nearly knocking over an overweight woman from HR in the process. I'm pretty fast, and think I got away before the Phantom Fapper saw me, but you can never be too sure.

[J Michaels]

And he's back......

[rreihart]

Apparently he's no longer scoring with all of the "cardio-bunnies" if he's gotta rub one out mid-day.

[PanzerFaust]

Wow ... I'm confused....

[metalchurch]

This is probably what really happened.....

"Hey man, you jerking too? Want to help each other out?" In a state of homosexual desire, I pulled up my pants mid-fap and scurried for the next stall.

I heard the Phantom Fapper also trying to get out of his stall in a hurry. Shoving open the bathroom door, I made a b-line for his open arms, nearly knocking over my bottle of lotion. We proceeded to rub each others bologna ponies until we got a wad of navy gravy on our wrists and hands. Staring into each others queer eyes for what seemed like eternity. I would have liked to have went down on his flesh spear, but I barely knew him. I really love to get it on with the new guys at work and break them in properly.

Hahaha!

[Bag]

This is probably what really happened.....

"Hey man, you jerking too? Want to help each other out?" In a state of homosexual desire, I pulled up my pants mid-fap and scurried for the next stall.

I heard the Phantom Fapper also trying to get out of his stall in a hurry. Shoving open the bathroom door, I made a b-line for his open arms, nearly knocking over my bottle of lotion. We proceeded to rub each others bologna ponies until we got a wad of navy gravy on our wrists and hands. Staring into each others queer eyes for what seemed like eternity. I would have liked to have went down on his flesh spear, but I barely knew him. I really love to get it on with the new guys at work and break them in properly.

Hahaha!

[songsmith]

If only Woofy was funny. He's the Howard Stern of Rockpage. Except that Stern was kinda funny 20 years ago. Now he just has skags strip on the radio.
Do me a favor and reread the last sentence. Stripping on the radio... kinda like flashing your snoobs over the phone... the first time it's mildly amusing because it's silly. The next 5000 times are just pathetic.

I sort of hope Woofy is just an alter-ego of someone else on the board, so when he gets kill-filed, it's just the end of a dumb joke, and not a musician getting kicked completely out over something so banal.--->JMS

[witchhunt]

This is really lame. I'm pissed at myself for wasting 30 seconds of my life reading this topic.

[DrumAndDestroy]

this will apply in a few months...

go pens

[Colton]

this will apply in a few months...

go pens

woot

[BDR]

Welcome back, woofy ... Steelers training camp started this weekend! Here we go!

r:>)

[Imgrimm01]

Hey Woof what's up, I have never been offended by you and I have always been amused by your stories, Hell up man I will continue to read.

[BDR]

Hey Woof what's up, I have never been offended by you and I have always been amused by your stories, Hell up man I will continue to read.

I'm with Bobby on this one. Woofy never attacks, and it's obvious from the stories he posts that it's tongue-in-cheek. He flames no one, he does no harm. Again, welcome back. Can't wait to hear about the misadventures of the cardio bunnies.

r:>)

[bassist_25]

The best Woofburger story was definitely the one where he was at the house party.

[songsmith]

Sorry, guys, apparently this one's over my head.--->JMS

[EyesOfAnguishbassist]

I thought it was funny.

[crazyeights]

What in the hell is 'fapping'? This has got to be the weirdest thing I have seen on this site so far. and let me tell you, this forum has it's moments. It sounds like something homosexual to me, and regardless, why would someone go into such an elaborate story like that? Like we really care?
Woofburger, please turn around and go back into the shitter stall and don't come out until you can behave.

[scorpion84]

i was wondering the same thing my man. i never heard of fapping. maybe he meant jacking? why would he jack people off at work anyway? maybe it was a contest during his lunch hour or something. freakin' weird either way if you ask me.

[DickShackBass]

From Urban Dictionary:

fap
A sound effect for masturbation used often in japanese comics. Popularized in the english speaking world by the webcomic sexylosers.com

[scorpion84]

so that's what it supposed to sound like? fap? i still dont know.

[Frank Benlin20]

so that's what it supposed to sound like? fap? i still dont know.

whatever, like you don't know! gtfooh!

[PanzerFaust]

Post count boost.... hehe....

[cucuplex96]

I enjoy woofy's fiction.. it gives everyone a break from the seriousness of rock page.. give the guy a break. Its entertaining to read after reading everyone elses "B*tching about something" threads. Its refreshing after reading about.. People that make me sick.. or songs that suck, or whatever it might be. Wouldnt you all be ***ked in the head if you found out it was a 800lb. woman that could not move from the computer, So depressed over her weight, that it brings a smile to her face, to see people talk about her. If you dont like woofys stories dont read em.

this wasnt a rude crack at anyone.., but for me.. his stories crack me up.

[DirtySanchez]

I enjoy woofy's fiction.. it gives everyone a break from the seriousness of rock page.. give the guy a break. Its entertaining to read after reading everyone elses "B*tching about something" threads. Its refreshing after reading about.. People that make me sick.. or songs that suck, or whatever it might be. Wouldnt you all be ***ked in the head if you found out it was a 800lb. woman that could not move from the computer, So depressed over her weight, that it brings a smile to her face, to see people talk about her. If you dont like woofys stories dont read em.

this wasnt a rude crack at anyone.., but for me.. his stories crack me up.

Thanks for defending my mom. It's her birthday today.

[DirtySanchez]

So many fake posters in this thread my head is spinning.