An open letter to JMichaels
- ToonaRockGuy
- Diamond Member
- Posts: 3091
- Joined: Tuesday Dec 17, 2002
- Location: Altoona, behind a drumset.
An open letter to JMichaels
J,
You're my bud, but you know what today is. And considering our geographic origins, it's actually a million-to-one shot that we would be civil to each other under any circumstance. But I do count you as a friend, with the exception of today....
For the next 24 hours...
I hate you.
If you were here, I would call you up, invite you over, and answer the door just so I could punch you in the face and shove a buckeye down your throat.
I would find out where you live, go over with a can of lighter fluid and burn a big block "M" into your lawn. Your WHOLE lawn. I'd paint your house maize and blue because I know that before it dried, you'd be out there trying to wash it off and crying about the horror of it all.
I pray that today, you don't get to watch the game, and get stuck instead with Alabama vs that powerhouse LA Monroe. Good god, and the SEC is supposed to be the premiere conference in college football?
But I digress.
I hate you, J.
I hate you with a passion, along with your f*cking Buckeyes. I hope that the ghost of Bo Schemechler rises up and takes Jim Tressel straight to hell for wearing those uber-gay sweater vests.
I hope that the entire Buckeye defense goes down with injuries. (Only for the game, of course, I'm not a complete asshole. I'd never wish a career or season ending injury on anyone.)
And above all, I hope that Michigan beats the living sh*t out of Ohio State.
Do I think it will happen in my head? Not really, as long as Tressel is there.
But in my heart of hears, I have to believe. After all, Michigan does lead the overall series, 57-40-6, and is 30-18-4 in Ann Arbor against OSU.
That's why I hate you, J.
You're my bud, but you know what today is. And considering our geographic origins, it's actually a million-to-one shot that we would be civil to each other under any circumstance. But I do count you as a friend, with the exception of today....
For the next 24 hours...
I hate you.
If you were here, I would call you up, invite you over, and answer the door just so I could punch you in the face and shove a buckeye down your throat.
I would find out where you live, go over with a can of lighter fluid and burn a big block "M" into your lawn. Your WHOLE lawn. I'd paint your house maize and blue because I know that before it dried, you'd be out there trying to wash it off and crying about the horror of it all.
I pray that today, you don't get to watch the game, and get stuck instead with Alabama vs that powerhouse LA Monroe. Good god, and the SEC is supposed to be the premiere conference in college football?
But I digress.
I hate you, J.
I hate you with a passion, along with your f*cking Buckeyes. I hope that the ghost of Bo Schemechler rises up and takes Jim Tressel straight to hell for wearing those uber-gay sweater vests.
I hope that the entire Buckeye defense goes down with injuries. (Only for the game, of course, I'm not a complete asshole. I'd never wish a career or season ending injury on anyone.)
And above all, I hope that Michigan beats the living sh*t out of Ohio State.
Do I think it will happen in my head? Not really, as long as Tressel is there.
But in my heart of hears, I have to believe. After all, Michigan does lead the overall series, 57-40-6, and is 30-18-4 in Ann Arbor against OSU.
That's why I hate you, J.
Dood...
- JustinGelvin
- Gold Member
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FUCK OHIO STATE!!!
www.myspace.com/yourdyingwish1
"True Love Lies in Body Bags The World Can't Hear Your Faintest Crys"
"True Love Lies in Body Bags The World Can't Hear Your Faintest Crys"
Re: An open letter to JMichaels
I don't know, J is a pretty big dude.ToonaRockGuy wrote:J,
If you were here, I would call you up, invite you over, and answer the door just so I could punch you in the face and shove a buckeye down your throat.

Uckfay Ouyay, to everyone in the Big Ten except the almighty Blue & White!Bag wrote:And I almost forgot... Muck Fichigan State too!Bag wrote:Muck Fichigan!
And yes, I did just go pig latin on this thread.
Scoreboard: Ohio State 14, Michigan 3. My condolences, Toona...
Coach Carr, say hello to the unemployment line. Methinks Lloyd is history. After the disappointment in the beginning of the season, Michigan had to win the big rivalry game for Lloyd to keep his job, especially after the dominance Jim Tressel and Ohio State have had over Michigan the past few years.
On the Jim Rome Show a few days ago, LSU head coach Les Miles (who coached under Bo Schembechler at Michigan) said he is perfectly happy where he is, and isn't thinking about the possibility of coaching at Michigan at this point. I get the feeling we're going to find out just how sincere those comments are in the near future.
Coach Carr, say hello to the unemployment line. Methinks Lloyd is history. After the disappointment in the beginning of the season, Michigan had to win the big rivalry game for Lloyd to keep his job, especially after the dominance Jim Tressel and Ohio State have had over Michigan the past few years.
On the Jim Rome Show a few days ago, LSU head coach Les Miles (who coached under Bo Schembechler at Michigan) said he is perfectly happy where he is, and isn't thinking about the possibility of coaching at Michigan at this point. I get the feeling we're going to find out just how sincere those comments are in the near future.
- ToonaRockGuy
- Diamond Member
- Posts: 3091
- Joined: Tuesday Dec 17, 2002
- Location: Altoona, behind a drumset.
Update: Okay, J, game's over, you're my homie again.
As for the whole Lloyd Carr situation, enough is enough. Carr was a decent coach, but his mediocre bowl record, along with his pitiful record against OSU is costing him his job. Good friggin' riddance.
Make no mistake about it. He's not retiring. He's being forced out. For those who may not get it, Michigan can lose almost every game in it's season...but as long as you beat Ohio State, your coach will have a job.
There's a really cool program on HBO called "Michigan Vs. Ohio State: The Rivalry" that goes in-depth about what the rivalry is all about. If you have a chance, you should watch it.
As for the whole Lloyd Carr situation, enough is enough. Carr was a decent coach, but his mediocre bowl record, along with his pitiful record against OSU is costing him his job. Good friggin' riddance.
Make no mistake about it. He's not retiring. He's being forced out. For those who may not get it, Michigan can lose almost every game in it's season...but as long as you beat Ohio State, your coach will have a job.
There's a really cool program on HBO called "Michigan Vs. Ohio State: The Rivalry" that goes in-depth about what the rivalry is all about. If you have a chance, you should watch it.
Dood...
Please excuse me for the following rant. As a big college football fan, I’m expressing my utter astonishment at how this year’s college football season is playing out, and pondering some wild possibilities that could still happen.
First, I’m posting this on early Saturday morning the 24th. Number 1 LSU just lost to Arkansas for their second loss of the year, and is considered out of the championship picture. Or are they?
It is conceivable that, by the end of next Saturday (Dec. 1), the following scenarios could exist:
Scenario 1: J. Michaels is jumping up and down in utter glee, as Ohio State backdoors their way into the BCS National Championship Game because teams above them in the BCS standings lose. It is quite conceivable that Ohio State (who has one loss but has completed their regular season) could face West Virginia for the national championship. How? Later tonight (11/24), unbeaten #2 Kansas and once-beaten #4 Missouri tangle, with the winner taking the lead in the northern division of the Big 12 Conference, and winning the opportunity to face southern division leader Oklahoma (with two losses) in the Big 12 Championship Game next weekend. Oklahoma has already beaten Missouri this season for the Tigers’ only loss. And if Kansas wins the game and gets to face Oklahoma, they will be in a position their program hasn’t been in for nearly 40 years. Oklahoma will be a dangerous opponent, as a win puts them in the Bowl Championship Series. If Oklahoma beats the Kansas-Missouri winner, that likely eliminates the Big 12 Conference from the national championship picture. West Virginia, at #3, only needs to win their game later today vs. Connecticut, and next weekend’s rivalry game against lackluster Pittsburgh to punch their ticket to the national championship game. But…
Scenario 2: Suppose the above scenario involving the Big 12 plays out and they all eliminate each other, but West Virginia gets upset by either Connecticut or Pittsburgh (even though Pitt sucks this season, it’s a rivalry game and anything goes)…What happens then? Ohio State could face a one-loss Kansas team, or a 2-LOSS TEAM for the national championship. But who? Georgia, LSU, Oklahoma (if the above scenario plays out), USC, Virginia Tech, Oregon? Or…
Scenario 3: At the expense of having rotten vegetables thrown at me by college football purists who don’t want weaker conferences involved in the national championship picture, Ohio State vs. Hawaii for the national title. Granted, probably won’t happen, but then again, would the BCS take a Kansas team that just lost or a two-loss team over an undefeated Hawaii team (provided Hawaii beats Washington next weekend) for the national championship game? And in an extreme unlikelihood, what happens if Ohio State takes on a two-loss team and loses, while Hawaii gets into a BCS game (say, against Kansas) and wins convincingly? Who gets the national championship?
The last time a college football season was this topsy-turvy was in 1984, when BYU won a controversial national championship by being the only undefeated team left standing after the dust settled. Although not likely, it’s not inconceivable that Hawaii might stake a claim to the title if they are left standing undefeated, especially if all the other teams have at least two losses.
It’s going to be very interesting to see how it all plays out…
First, I’m posting this on early Saturday morning the 24th. Number 1 LSU just lost to Arkansas for their second loss of the year, and is considered out of the championship picture. Or are they?
It is conceivable that, by the end of next Saturday (Dec. 1), the following scenarios could exist:
Scenario 1: J. Michaels is jumping up and down in utter glee, as Ohio State backdoors their way into the BCS National Championship Game because teams above them in the BCS standings lose. It is quite conceivable that Ohio State (who has one loss but has completed their regular season) could face West Virginia for the national championship. How? Later tonight (11/24), unbeaten #2 Kansas and once-beaten #4 Missouri tangle, with the winner taking the lead in the northern division of the Big 12 Conference, and winning the opportunity to face southern division leader Oklahoma (with two losses) in the Big 12 Championship Game next weekend. Oklahoma has already beaten Missouri this season for the Tigers’ only loss. And if Kansas wins the game and gets to face Oklahoma, they will be in a position their program hasn’t been in for nearly 40 years. Oklahoma will be a dangerous opponent, as a win puts them in the Bowl Championship Series. If Oklahoma beats the Kansas-Missouri winner, that likely eliminates the Big 12 Conference from the national championship picture. West Virginia, at #3, only needs to win their game later today vs. Connecticut, and next weekend’s rivalry game against lackluster Pittsburgh to punch their ticket to the national championship game. But…
Scenario 2: Suppose the above scenario involving the Big 12 plays out and they all eliminate each other, but West Virginia gets upset by either Connecticut or Pittsburgh (even though Pitt sucks this season, it’s a rivalry game and anything goes)…What happens then? Ohio State could face a one-loss Kansas team, or a 2-LOSS TEAM for the national championship. But who? Georgia, LSU, Oklahoma (if the above scenario plays out), USC, Virginia Tech, Oregon? Or…
Scenario 3: At the expense of having rotten vegetables thrown at me by college football purists who don’t want weaker conferences involved in the national championship picture, Ohio State vs. Hawaii for the national title. Granted, probably won’t happen, but then again, would the BCS take a Kansas team that just lost or a two-loss team over an undefeated Hawaii team (provided Hawaii beats Washington next weekend) for the national championship game? And in an extreme unlikelihood, what happens if Ohio State takes on a two-loss team and loses, while Hawaii gets into a BCS game (say, against Kansas) and wins convincingly? Who gets the national championship?
The last time a college football season was this topsy-turvy was in 1984, when BYU won a controversial national championship by being the only undefeated team left standing after the dust settled. Although not likely, it’s not inconceivable that Hawaii might stake a claim to the title if they are left standing undefeated, especially if all the other teams have at least two losses.
It’s going to be very interesting to see how it all plays out…
- RobTheDrummer
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- J Michaels
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Oh, for crying out loud. (Or should I say O-H-I-O for crying out loud....?) 
I bought a new house last Friday, moved over the weekend - tho I stopped working during the big game, of course - and haven't been on the 'net in a week. And I missed this whole thread. And a plethora of chances to mock, jeer, laugh, taunt, and moon my dear friend Kevin. Gee, too bad I missed my chance when it would have been timely and appropriate.
Hmm....
Maybe I'll do it anyway....
Fight that team across the field
Show them Ohio's here!
Set the Earth reverberating
With a mighty Cheer -
O-HI-O!!
Hit them hard and see how they fall,
Never let that team get the ball
Hail! Hail! The gang's all here -
So let's win one for O-HI-O!
GO BUCKS!!!

I bought a new house last Friday, moved over the weekend - tho I stopped working during the big game, of course - and haven't been on the 'net in a week. And I missed this whole thread. And a plethora of chances to mock, jeer, laugh, taunt, and moon my dear friend Kevin. Gee, too bad I missed my chance when it would have been timely and appropriate.
Hmm....
Maybe I'll do it anyway....
Fight that team across the field
Show them Ohio's here!
Set the Earth reverberating
With a mighty Cheer -
O-HI-O!!
Hit them hard and see how they fall,
Never let that team get the ball
Hail! Hail! The gang's all here -
So let's win one for O-HI-O!
GO BUCKS!!!
You better call me a doctor - feelin' no pain!
- J Michaels
- Platinum Member
- Posts: 698
- Joined: Thursday Aug 21, 2003
- Location: Huntsville, AL
- Contact:
As for the National Championship fiasco.....
I am indeed excited at the prospect of the Buckeyes backing into the Big Game. And I will admit that they're "backing into" it. I'm not convinced they're the best team in the country, but they are certainly one of the best. Frankly, I don't think any of the teams that have a shot at being in the game can beat OSU (of course, on any given Saturday... look at that freakin' Illinois game for chrissake) I think LSU, Florida, and especially Oregon would probably beat them. But those teams are out of the running it seems. Hell, Kansas is awful good, and have the kind of offense that could pose a real problem. WVU - just don't see it. Missouri - nah. Hawaii - please.
At any rate - we'll see what happens the next two weeks.
As for Coach Carr - how quickly people forget he was 5-1 against the Bucks before Tressel came to Columbus. And won a Nat'l Championship. And dominated the Big Ten. Still - he's out. And I think with LSU losing last night, Les Miles is MORE likely to come to Meesh-egan now. He'll deny it till the cows come home - or till the season's over - a la Saban - and then probably move to UM. Or maybe not. But I would not be surprised at all.
Anyway - I'm glad we're buds again, Kev. What would life be without a whipping boy? BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA......
I am indeed excited at the prospect of the Buckeyes backing into the Big Game. And I will admit that they're "backing into" it. I'm not convinced they're the best team in the country, but they are certainly one of the best. Frankly, I don't think any of the teams that have a shot at being in the game can beat OSU (of course, on any given Saturday... look at that freakin' Illinois game for chrissake) I think LSU, Florida, and especially Oregon would probably beat them. But those teams are out of the running it seems. Hell, Kansas is awful good, and have the kind of offense that could pose a real problem. WVU - just don't see it. Missouri - nah. Hawaii - please.
At any rate - we'll see what happens the next two weeks.
As for Coach Carr - how quickly people forget he was 5-1 against the Bucks before Tressel came to Columbus. And won a Nat'l Championship. And dominated the Big Ten. Still - he's out. And I think with LSU losing last night, Les Miles is MORE likely to come to Meesh-egan now. He'll deny it till the cows come home - or till the season's over - a la Saban - and then probably move to UM. Or maybe not. But I would not be surprised at all.
Anyway - I'm glad we're buds again, Kev. What would life be without a whipping boy? BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA......

You better call me a doctor - feelin' no pain!