Terrible Advice

Banned · Post by **Banned** » Thu Apr 17, 2008 5:15 pm

That all depends upon if the woodchuck is in a union.

Tighty whities or boxers?

DirtySanchez · Post by **DirtySanchez** » Thu Apr 17, 2008 6:29 pm

Doesn't matter. Just remember: yellow in the front, brown in the back.

What is the best thing to say to a cop when trying to get out of a ticket?

Post by **Jim Price** » Thu Apr 17, 2008 6:41 pm

"Do you know who I am?"

Q - What happens if I push this button?

HurricaneBob · Post by **HurricaneBob** » Thu Apr 17, 2008 8:38 pm

Q - What happens if I push this button?
A ~ It starts moving cows down the slaughter line

When should i change my oil?

Bag · Post by **Bag** » Thu Apr 17, 2008 8:46 pm

Not neccesary to change your oil at all. The advancements in petroleum makes it un-neccesary!

Are 10 dollar whores worth it?

Dragan Kalasa · Post by **Dragan Kalasa** » Thu Apr 17, 2008 9:20 pm

A: No...but I'll do it for $7.50.

Q: (This is a legit question, so don't kick me off. I'm not a hater.) If a lesbian is a gay woman, what is a gay man called?

Post by **Jim Price** » Thu Apr 17, 2008 9:44 pm

A: Happy.

Q: How do you cure an alcoholic?

Trucula · Post by **Trucula** » Thu Apr 17, 2008 9:49 pm

Q: How do you cure an alcoholic?

A; hang him in a smokehouse covered in curing salt

Q: What's brown, yellow and flies?

Dragan Kalasa · Post by **Dragan Kalasa** » Thu Apr 17, 2008 10:09 pm

A: A UPS driver running late from one of Bag's 10 dollar whore's golden shower shows. Told ya it wasn't worth it Bag.

Q: What drives you insane, but is back to take you home?

Killjingle · Post by **Killjingle** » Fri Apr 18, 2008 3:50 am

state police.

Why should I bother tuning my guitar?

KyleMayket · Post by **KyleMayket** » Fri Apr 18, 2008 4:21 pm

Why should I bother tuning my guitar?

We've already covered this, you shouldn't, it's a waste of time, no one will notice.

how do we cure this oil crisis?

Killjingle · Post by **Killjingle** » Fri Apr 18, 2008 6:00 pm

invade North Korea.

If you were forced to pick one to boink, would it be Hilary or Chesea?

Banned · Post by **Banned** » Fri Apr 18, 2008 7:33 pm

Come on, the mother - daughter combo is always preferred.

If you had to eat just one, Daffy or Donald?

Banned · Post by **Banned** » Fri Apr 18, 2008 9:12 pm

undercoverjoe wrote: If you had to eat just one, Daffy or Donald?

Daisy.

Any advice on how to get sperm stains out of a Nun's Habit?

DirtySanchez · Post by **DirtySanchez** » Sat Apr 19, 2008 5:21 am

Easy. Rub peanut butter on it and let the dog lick it off.

How long is the wait to get into hell?

KyleMayket · Post by **KyleMayket** » Sat Apr 19, 2008 5:24 am

Any advice on how to get sperm stains out of a Nun's Habit?

Easy, 2 options. first off prevent it by blowing it inside of her, but if it already happened, easy fix. Light her on fire.

How do I prevent my contacts from popping out at certain times?

KyleMayket · Post by **KyleMayket** » Sat Apr 19, 2008 5:26 am

sorry sanchez, i skipped you...

How long is the wait to get into hell?

no worries, there's an express lane for folks like us.

DirtySanchez · Post by **DirtySanchez** » Sat Apr 19, 2008 5:28 am

KyleMayket wrote:

How do I prevent my contacts from popping out at certain times?

SuperGlue.

If Billy Joel and his buddies didn't start the fire, who did?

KyleMayket · Post by **KyleMayket** » Sat Apr 19, 2008 5:36 am

If Billy Joel and his buddies didn't start the fire, who did?

A mishap involving a nun who had semen stains on her habit...

How can i write better songs?

bassist_25 · Post by **bassist_25** » Sat Apr 19, 2008 5:07 pm

KyleMayket wrote:
How can i write better songs?

A: Don't worry about writing songs. Just let Lou Pearlman take care of your musical career.

Q: I got an email today from somebody from Venezuela saying that he needs to despoit $500,000 in an American account. If I allow him to use my checking account, I can keep 65% of what he deposits. I'm thinking of purchasing a new car with the money I get to keep. What make and model do you think I should get?

Merge · Post by **Merge** » Sat Apr 19, 2008 7:04 pm

bassist_25 wrote: Q: I got an email today from somebody from Venezuela saying that he needs to despoit $500,000 in an American account. If I allow him to use my checking account, I can keep 65% of what he deposits. I'm thinking of purchasing a new car with the money I get to keep. What make and model do you think I should get?

Get yourself a Yugo. The trade in value is amazing.

What Skynard song should my band cover?? No one plays their music anymore.

Banned · Post by **Banned** » Sat Apr 19, 2008 8:06 pm

"We'll All Live Forever" one of those songs that never made it on an album.

I like spring, but hate mowing the lawn. What to do?

Merge · Post by **Merge** » Sat Apr 19, 2008 11:43 pm

Pave over your entire yard. It'll be one big driveway.

I have a $1500 to spend on new guitar. What Peavey model should I get??

DMFJ03 · Post by **DMFJ03** » Sun Apr 20, 2008 1:32 am

A: Don't waste your time...we all know First Act is the best guitar out there.

Q: I wanted to go and hang out with BadDazeRob, but I got side tracked by a can of beans. How should I appologize for missing our "date"?

Mistress_DB · Post by **Mistress_DB** » Sun Apr 20, 2008 4:34 am

offer him a blow job.

what's the quickest way to kill weeds in the garden?

rockpage.net

Terrible Advice

duck